I'm a mum of 5. From 1992 till 2010 I parented and worked. I was a full time working mum.
We are a blended family, but we are The Parents. Two of our children are now married, One has a child of their own.
Now I no longer work, I don't study and I live 3000 miles away in Dubai from four of our children in the UK and both our mother's as well as the wider family. One child is in Australia so even further away.
I have a lot of time on my hands, I spend a lot of it, waiting for the next trip, next visitor, next family event.
Everytime I think about starting something, my time is limited. Waste of time setting up the sewing machine on Monday as we've people coming for dinner on Thursday and I need the table. I've lugged family photos covering decades of family time, around the world in a container then unpacked into a cupboard. That was 10 years ago, I intended to sort them out and put them in albums with all the time on my hands, but they've not been done. The same has happened with transferring the old family videos. The kids keepsake boxes, piles of old paper work from houses/cars we no longer own.
I think it's natural to feel like this, to think we always have tomorrow, next week, next year. I'm not really 'looking forward' I'm just standing still. My family have grown, flown the nest and I feel like I have a gap I need to fill, but I don't want to fill the gap, I'm actually ok right where I am right now.
I read a lot of blogs and spend a lot of time online. I read about babies, toddlers, tweens (where did that awful word come from?) I read about teenagers, worries, anxiety, depression, universary, empty nest, menopause, death, weddings, grandparents. I read them because it has been my life, I find it interesting how other people have handled situations, how they achieved 'me time' how they've cried, recovered/not recovered/dealt with things. I often nod my head in agreement, I comment that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I find support, I offer help or a shoulder to cry on.
I've realised that sometimes while I'm not actually doing much, I have actually achieved an awful lot. I manage my mum's finances, a flat of ours and our family home that we rent out in the UK. I manage our finances and our home in Dubai. I book all the travel, car hire, food shop, write birthday cards and buy gifts as well as supporting our adult children with their life events as they happen.
It doesn't matter that I'm not working, that this has been my life full time for the past 5 years. I'm living in the moment, not pining for days gone past, not racing ahead to the next adventure. I'm just letting things happen and dealing with it all as and when it arrives.
I will be sorting the photo's and the family films in November as there's another relocation ahead of us and I do tend to work best under pressure or 'last minute.com'
Oh and bloggers please note. I don't write about previous events, unless they're relevant to me now. So would you mind not writing about how you think you'll deal with the teenage years when your child is 2 or write about the menopause when you're 28 (unless you're experiencing it first hand)