The negatives
I truly believe that the lack of support when my father died then again when Stephanie died has had a bigger impact than most realise. We were left to our own devices with the assumptions that we would ask if we needed anything. When a child dies you really need people to just take over, it's not been two years and I'm still screaming out for help most days. Apparently, no one knows what to do, so nothing gets done.
The positives
Having lots of lovely people that I am able to talk to, when I say I need to talk (see above)
Saturday 25th July Shopping trip to price up a few things we need and home to finally dig up the fir tree and get the ground cleared to finish levelling the front lawn and start our new path here. BBQ in the late afternoon and we watched the original Top Gun.
Sunday 26th July Off to Bromyard for fuel and gas bottle for van then into Worcester for coffee and gluten free cake in Next and a visit to Home Sense and bought some Halloween decorations. Onto Lidl and Sainsbury’s then home and a chilled afternoon. Evening spent photographing items to upload onto Vinted.
Monday 27th July We booked a holiday to Crete and were having a lazy morning and day at planned. Well I was as Peter was on on a cleaning and ironing spree when DIL messaged to say she was bringing the kids up for the day. I quickly booked my camping trip and put the van on charge and cleaned the water tanks. Everyone arrived, played in the garden, paddling pools, lunch then walked to retail park, bought granddaughter new trainers (she ended up with 3 pairs) then a coffee. I came home and made dinner while they stopped in the park and while they ate I went to the gym. I got home, more play time and head stand practice with me showing granddaughter how it’s done. We’d had a race earlier on in the woods and she was waiting for mummy and granddad to catch her up.
Tuesday 28th July Campervan packed and off to Gloucester for some metaphysical time with Stephanie, coffee in Starbucks and a trip round the big B&M and The Range. It was our monthly trip, just the two of us. On then to the camp sit near Coleford where I'm staying for the next two nights, Peter is at home. I've got the cat pole with me to drop off with my friend on my way home on Thursday, I explained to the people on the pitch next to me that I haven't brought my cat with me, everyone else can think what they like. I met up with my niece and The Things at Rugby practice, the bus timings didn't work out so I decided to run there. I saw a deer and had bonus time with my grandchildren who live near by and gave me a lift home. I also got barked at through a window from a passing car and had a plastic bottle thrown at me from another vehicle. Evening spent at the campsite reading, had a shower, some dinner, washing up and bed at 10.30pm.
Wednesday 29th July A lazy morning, awake at 5am with the dawn chorus, made tea and dozed watching Slow Horses before my free trail with Apple TV ends, washed up after breakfast, made coffee and read whilst I waited for my friend to pick me up for a day out along the river in Redbrook and lunch, crossing between England and Wales for the day. After being dropped off back at the camp site I had a nap then walked into the town late afternoon, had a coffee and picked up some herbs for my dinner. Took a 3 mile walk back to the campsite. Made a tuna pasta salad, did the washing up, had a shower and in bed at 10pm.
Thursday 30th July Woken by the birds at 4.40am and after a walk to the toilets I went back to sleep until woken by a screaming baby then kids running around, I finally got up at 8.30am. Made tea and had breakfast, got dressed then slowly started packing up. Reloaded cat pole and set off to my friends house in Lydrbook. Dropped off cat pole and got my washing up done. Came home via the funeral directors as we wanted to make sure Stephanie's ashes had been collected by her biological mother and not just left there, we still don't know where Stephanie's final resting place is. We knew she'd pull some kind of a stunt. We regret now giving her permission to collect them, she was supposed to meet us with them to scatter them. Home and unloaded the van, met my friend for a coffee. Neighbours son came round to look for a ball he accidentally threw over the fence so he could come and see us, once his mum checked he was with us, she disappeared with our cat and sent her daughter round. Neither Peter or I thought it was a fair exchange and her son asked if his mum could bring all his toys round as he thought it would be a great idea to move in with us. Peter and I watched TV, I blogged and we got to bed at 11pm, with everyone back in their rightful homes.
Friday 31st July A lie in then off to Worcester mid morning. We had a coffee and did some shopping. I picked up some material from a scrap store and bought a couple of birthday cards. Peter then had his hair cut and took the shopping home and I caught the train to Birmingham. I wandered around the markets and picked up some more material for a couple of projects and found somewhere to eat buy pack lunch in the shade. I walked up to the ground, bumping into a couple from the gym who were going up the football also. It was FC Barcelona. I got a glimpse of Jude Bellingham and we won 3-2 on sudden death penalties. I just about caught the Tain home after 3 platform changes in 3 mins. Peter collected me from Worcester at 11.30pm as I can't back to Malvern anyway.
On the blog this week:
