I'm tired this week, physically and mentally.
Tired from the running the ultra on Saturday.
It took me 3 days before I could do stairs without crying and my sleep pattern has just returned to normal.
Tired from the lack of interest.
I was actually talking to one person who had asked me what I'd done on the weekend and half way through saying it was a memorial walk/run for Stephanie, they exclaimed in shock 'oh my god I left my water bottle at home' Someone else actually interrupted me talking to another that a friend of theirs had done the 10k that weekend also.
Yes I get it people die and after a while it becomes personal to that individual, not even the wider family, but the failure to acknowledge someone is grieving is what gets me, you don't have to understand it.
I hear all the time about that 'poor person' down the road, on the telly, on social media and you look at the person talking to you and think ...
... when did you stop thinking? You're telling my story there, you're showing compassion and empathy for some poor other soul, but when I say I'm struggling, you've closed off, retreated and changed the subject as fast as you could.
Tired from doing the same things over and over.
Work, TV, make tomorrow's pack lunch, gym, running, TV (insert gardening/housework/reading/coffee out) dinner, bath, get ready for work in the morning, bed.
Tired from lack of sleep.
I want the world to carry on around me, not wait for me to wake up.
That is just rude that someone asked what you'd done over the weekend and then went on about their water bottle when it was something so important to you. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteSending love and hugs. I hope you get some decent sleep and feel less tired soon.
Well done on doing the ultra, I can fully understand how you would be tired after that. I'm sorry you are tired of rude people, I know exactly how you feel though, I get it all the time. Please take care of yourself and get some rest. Maybe treat yourself, you deserve it. I haven't forgotten about Stephanie and I'm so proud of you raising awareness for bowel research.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about those responses when you talked about your memorial run for your daughter Stephanie. Things like that hurt.
ReplyDeleteWell done on running the ultra – no wonder you’ve been tired physically this week after that. That’s horrible about being interrupted when you were talking about Stephanie, it's such a hurtful thing to do and people just don't think about how it comes across. I was reading a post the other day about how talking about losing a child is different from talking about other types of loss, such as a parent, and how other people are much more awkward in their reactions. It’s so hard to have to navigate. I’m sorry you’re struggling with that x
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