Word of the week - World Mental Health Day

On World Mental Health Day Saturday October 10th 2026 I started the day with one of my oldest friends having spent the night there with breakfast then headed off to parkrun in Monmouth where I started my parkrun journey, just 4 weeks after beginning the couch to 5k a whole year ago on Friday October 10th 2025.

I started running to clear my head after our daughter Stephanie died in October 2024 realising that a year on there was no support out there. No support from the NHS, private counselling only did so much and was expensive and support groups, like counselling only seem to run between the hours of 9-4pm Monday to Friday with the occasional evening session with most of it online and with huge waiting lists. My only real support in the early days was my GP and the Samaritans, for which I'll be eternally grateful.

Running has giving me the head space I need to 'just be' I'm not great at joining in with things, new places, new people, but I've plucked up the courage to join the gym and a couple of classes and socialise a little but too often I find myself getting tearful and when I'm running I don't need to hold it together in quite the same way.

I hadn't run since I left school in 1987 and I finally got round to stopping smoking in February 2026, something I also did when I was in school.

Committing to running, stopping smoking, dealing with grief has been physically and mentally exhausting and continues to challenge me, but I do like a challenge.

Since starting couch to 5k, I've taken part in two 25k ultras which I've part run and walked, a walking marathon, mostly ran/jogged the Brighton Marathon this year and completed my first ultra marathon mostly jogging in September this year. I'm now training for the London Marathon on the Saturday in April 2026 for which I got in on a ballot and I'm aiming for 5 hours.

I've been doing all of this also for Bowel Research UK, racing funds, £2,000 to date and raising awareness as Stephanie died of an Ischemic Bowel, almost possible to diagnose and in her case too late to treat. Bowel Research UK also conduct research into Hirchsprung Disease a condition that our eldest grandson was born with and spent a considerable amount of time in hospital with and had numerous surgeries in the first two years of his life having a stoma for a period of time also.

Running hasn't been a cure, it is one of many coping strategies, it's what's working for me right now. Some days I fall out of love with it and wander why I'm putting myself through such pain and such commitment, then I think, why not? I enjoy it. It gets me off my arse, out the house and doing something and dinging something that can help others in a small way through fund raising, raising awareness and I'm keeping the memory of Stephanie alive.

If you want to donate that would be lovely.

#doingitforstephanie

Two years on without Stephanie

It's difficult to celebrate Stephanie's life.

It's difficult to mourn Stephanie

There are so few people to celebrate and mourn her life with.

You had to know Stephanie to understand her.

So many people understood her from knowing Peter and I.

So many people misunderstood her.

Tolerance, acceptance, part of the package.

Just Stephanie, part of our lives, part of our daily woes, our future, our worries.

Now gone, no warning, no life expectation, but would that have made it easier? Think before you ask us that again.

Has Stephanie's death made it easier for us? What part of anyone dying makes it easier for anyone?

Maybe you didn't want to change an adults nappy or feed someone or take them back to their supported living and feel guilty for not being able to meet their needs. Or maybe you felt guilty for not understanding what it was like to have a child like Stephanie, or maybe you didn't understand what it was like to have unconditional love and worry every single day for what the future held and have sleepless nights for budget cuts and worries about the care system and abuse and all those terrible documentaries you saw on Panorama and wonder ... no, you couldn't wonder, could you? You couldn't let your mind go there. And the children's residential school that you entrusted your non verbal child to that was investigated years later for abuse, no, just no.

So every day you worried and you worried about who was going to do all this worry when you were no longer here, fight for those budget cuts from health year on year, fight for those staff changes, would you have changed it?  could you have changed it? it was what it was. Stephanie was who she was and now she isn't here any more and we are still here, mourning her, missing her and our lives will never be the same again as our lives were shaped by who she was and without her there is this great big gap that just can never be filled.

It's not just Stephanie that's gone.

The best bits of April 2026

In no particular order:

Our next cat. Been hanging around our house and garden for quite a while now despite Pushkins seeing it off on a regular basis, although at the time of writing not seen for a week or two.

Enjoying the sun, but why she has to sit here, I do not know.

Watching us while we do the garden.

Not helpful at all.

A visit to Brockhampton Estate.

A day out at countrytastic with child2, Dil and the grandchildren.

An easter party in our old neighbourhood with our oldest friends.

Three football matches this month. It all went a bit Peaky Blinders for the game against Blackburn.

Attendance was low against Preston North End. I'm in the yellow coat.

Last home game of the season against Bristol Rovers and I got whacked in the head by one of their players.

Great to get the washing out on the line. There has also been a lot of gardening done but too many photos to choose from.

Kath turned 50. She is the one responsible for me running the Brighton Marathon. I've got to blame someone. She is also my motivational coach who kept me going when I didn't think I could do it.

Flowers and good luck card from Kath the day we travelled down to Brighton.

Fundraising was probably the hardest part of the marathon and I'm grateful to each and every one of you who dropped something in the pot, with almost £2000 raised since last September.

Nails painted in the colours of Bowel Research UK. It's a great way to get the conversation started and now I can casually drop in 'oh did I mention I ran a marathon for them to raise funds in memory of Stephanie?'

And finally the Brighton Marathon.

Before:

During:

After:

And my final finally my support crew - Peter. He's not a big fan of featuring on my blog. In 2024 I insisted on taking a selfie a day for a year and he moaned like mad about it. At Stephanie's funeral he acknowledged how grateful he was for all the photos I had taken over the years of us all as a family as we had so many photos of Stephanie to choose from, he's just not a big fan of me sharing them everywhere.

Week 15 2026 One Daily Positive and Project 365

The negatives

I'm several weeks behind with commenting and it matters to me, so I will be catching up over the weekend. It['s the same with comments left on my social media sites. whilst I've raised over £2000 over the past 6 months since I started training for the marathon, I've found this the hardest part, the fundraising

The positives

I made some time on Friday evening to read and catch up with comments and I feel so much better that it's getting done. I followed advise and waited till Friday before going out for a run and it felt good, despite the rain and I've had no aches or pains or injuries. In fact my body doesn't feel like it ran 26.2 miles just under a week ago.

Saturday 11th April Woke to the birds around 5.30am then back to sleep till 8am. I walked down the road to the East Brighton parkrun for 3 laps round the course and back up the hill to the campsite for a shower and breakfast. I've realised that I need the first 5k as a warm up and I must have breakfast and a coffee at least an hour before I run. we decided we'll stay an extra night rather than having to stress about the parking situation on Sunday and we chilled out and caught the bus into Brighton for the day to spend the kids inheritance on the pier in the 2p slots, wander around the Laines, drink coffee, have a leisurely lunch and catch the bus back to the Marina to pick up last minute food supplies for Sunday. Peter had dinner, but I couldn't eat and spend the evening prepping my clothing  and packing my bum bag and in bed after a shower by 9pm. It was a very wet and windy night, but I had a good sleep.

Sunday 12th April Woke at 7am, had tea and porridge, dressed and headed off to Preston Park. It was cold and windy with some rain and a 3.5 mile walk to the start line. I picked up a coffee on route and on arrival joined a very long queue for the toilets, explored the park, had another wee and the marathon started. I stopped at the first mile to remove my long sleeve running top as the sun came out, then ran non stop to mile 4 for another wee stop and ran again till mile 7 where I met Peter and handed over my running top and jacket. Whilst running through the city I saw my friend Jenny whose son Rob died 4 years ago from Sarcoma and her partners nephew was running for the charity. After seeing Peter the route out the cliff top to the windmill and back to the half way mark was demoralising, it was long, lonely, windy and cold, the toilets was dismal and the road never ending. The road then looped again at the pier, back towards the marina, then I met up with Peter again, but the 6 hour 30 minute pacer was hot on my heals, so I went back into full run mode for 5k into Hove and then it was run/walk lamppost to lamppost till the beach huts and once I composed myself for the finish line as I was getting really emotional, I head Peter yelling my name and I ran for the line. After collecting my medal and meeting up with Peter I spent 20 mins lying on the grass, catching my breath and we had a mile walk back to the City to catch the bus to the camp site, grabbing a coffee and a very hard walk up a steep hill to the camp site. I went straight to bed with a hot water bottle on my hips and apart from a visit to the loo, I didn't move till the morning.

Monday 13th April We packed up and after the drive home getting in at 2pm, putting the hot water on, and having a bath, we unpacked the van and I went for a short walk to post some vinted parcels, we had dinner and I was in bed by 8pm.

Tuesday 14th April Back to work. Several members of staff had tracked my Marathon and the kids already knew how I'd done and asked to see my medal. I drove the van into work to fill it up with diesel as the local garage had been named on Sky TV as the cheapest in the UK. Home, video call with the grandchildren, dinner and bed. I drive by this tank every day to and from work.

Wednesday 15th April Straight into town after work to get my nails redone. Same colours for Bowel Research and when people say they like them I casually mention that fact and shoe horn into every conversation 'I ran a marathon' I did some shopping, home, dinner, bath and bed.

Thursday 16th April Peter went to visit his mum in Keynsham. I went for coffee after work to check on my charity box, there was only a handful of coins in it. I spent some time blogging, watched TV and an early night. 

Friday 17th April Met Peter in town for a coffee. I got changed into my running gear in the car and I walked half way up the hill before running back home. No aches or pains and I enjoyed the run. Peter took the car back and made dinner which was ready not long after I got in. We watched TV for the evening while I did some blogging. After a bath I got everything ready for a full day out on Saturday and in bed around 10.30pm.

On the blog this week:

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Word of the week - Marathoner

http://www.chickenruby.com/2026/04/how-i-ran-my-brighton-marathon-april.html

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How I ran my Brighton Marathon April 2026

Yes it is possible to run a marathon with no formal training plan, no coach, no special diet or expensive equipment.

This is what I ran in. It was what I had been training in and they say don't make any adjustments that you haven't trained in. But you'll see from the photo's it was a hot day and within one mile of setting off, I used the toilets to change out of my off running vest. Thankfully there was no rubbing or chaffing.

There was a 3.5 mile walk to the start line from the camp site near the Marina to Preston Park. It turned out to be the best warm up for me. A chance for my breakfast to be digested and to enjoy a coffee as well as walking familiar routes as I'd done as a child towards the viaduct in the background to London Road where my mums family used to live.

On arrival it was windy and raining and I wore my hat and had a disposable plastic rain mac. At the start there was a clothing bin for SHELTER where I dropped my hat before the race.

I met up with a woman in the toilet queue who had run the Brighton Marathon before who gave me a few tips for the race.

The first group went at 9.45am and they called us in waves. I was in wave 8 and we set off at 10.37am. There was a chip built into the bib that was activated as we crossed the start and I also activated the app at the same time so family and friends could follow my progress and for Peter and my friend Jenny to be able to see me on route which gave me an amazing boost to hear my name being called and get a hug.

The toilets became pretty grim as the race went on. This was my second stop around 4 miles in.

At this point mile 6 I was still running and very much enjoying myself. I had a clothing malfunction and knew I was seeing Peter at the 8 mile mark.

I saw my friend Jenny with her husband around this point. shortly afterwards the route went uphill then out onto the sea front and the wind and sun was vicious. At mile 7-8 I slowed down and walked and ate and ran a bit until I got to Peter to hand over my jacket and running top and get a drink.

And this was the part of the run I was dreading the most. We'd travelled it on the bus on the Friday. 2 miles out and 2 miles back. No crowds. At the roundabout a run in land then up the last hill to the windmill and back to the half way point.

There was another loop on Marina Parade and a shoe/sock malfunction followed by a mile to Hove where the 6 hour 30 min pacer caught up with me and there was no way she was going past me and I had a boost of speed. I threw my bum bag at Peter as I had finished my snacks. The 4 miles round Hove saw me run/walk from lamp post to lamp post. A colleague in work who is running the London and Sydney Marathon this year said he could tell I was really digging in at this point. 

It took forever to run round the lagoon for the last 2 miles and past the beach huts and that's when the emotion kicked in, when I remembered why I was doing this at the ripe old age of 54 with 26 weeks of preparation. Stephanie.

I could hear Peter yelling my name and I found the last bit of energy I had. I never once doubted myself that mentally I was capable of this, but physically I was starting to question my abilities.

I appear in this video at 1 min and 3 secs. I didn't realise I'd crossed the line and kept on running.

After crossing the line and collecting my medal, I was given some water, protein yogurt, a t shirt and found Peter.

Peter carried this bag with him for the day, plus he had my jacket which I put back on as I was really cold once I stopped running.

I had my snacks, drink, took my trainers and socks off and put on fresh socks and my crocs. I could hardly move. I just lay on the grass for about 20 minutes.

So do I have any secrets and tips to share with you?

Yes.

I wrote down the water stations mile points as well as the refill stations and toilet stops on the inside of my bib so I could refer to them during the run.

The previous day I'd done a parkrun and had skipped breakfast and hadn't warmed up. DON'T DO THAT.

Don't do anything new on race day that you haven't done before. I ran with the laminate pinned to my back. It was fine when I was running, but when I tied my jacket round my waist it was a pain. My bum bag and jacket tying didn't fit with how my bib had to be pinned on my front. I'd covered the toes and part of my feet with compeed plasters where I knew I'd had problems in the past.

Take tissues for the toilets and hand sanitiser.

What I ate and drank. I'd not tried these gels that runners use. I stuck to my ham sandwich, banana, crisps and snack bars and sweets, washed down with gaviscon. I carried this in my bumbag. I ate the banana and a snack bag before the race started.

Things I didn't use or I'd do differently although there won't be a next time.

• I didn't use the headphones but next time I'd make sure I used them on parts of the route where there weren't any crowds.
• The refillable water bottle. it didn't get used.
• I wouldn't wear the long sleeve running top. I still wear the cardigan/jacket as I'm used to running with it tied round my waist, but I wouldn't laminate the picture/story, I'd have it printed on the back instead and keep it with me. 
• The bum bag works. No mints in future, didn't eat them and only had 1 snack bar, each time I've been out I've only eaten 1.
• I didn't activate Strava and I don't care. I'm more than happy with the official time and distance.
• I would have my name printed on the front of my shirt.
• I would take more photos and videos especially at the finish line.

Word of the Week - Marathoner

Well I did it. I ran the Brighton Marathon in a time of 6 hours and 28 minutes and 6 seconds.

I am NEVER doing it again.

I will however possibly probably mention it again.

I'm 54 years of age. I'm bloody proud of myself.

The last time I ran was when I was in school. I left school in 1987.

I started with the couch to 5k on October 10th 2025 on World Mental Health Day. I completed my first 5k 4 weeks later at a parkrun in Monmouth, I'll be back there this Saturday.

I often surprise myself with my strength both physically and mentally.

It has been an emotional journey.

At 1 min and 3 sec you'll see me come into view and then cross the line and keep on running because I didn't realise I'd actually finished..

I hit my fundraising target and a big thank you to everyone who donated to Bowel Research UK.