Why I'm no longer a groovy mum

I wrote this post about my life being put on hold but I didn't write about what and how I was going to make changes and TBH I'm still not really sure.

I'm a 'new' me, I lost my groove, I've realised it can never be recovered. I've lost my way, my identity and my groove and no amount of fighting is going to bring it all back.

Things have to change, they have to be different. So far I've fought it, life as an expat trailing spouse seems to be golf, tennis, bridge, coffee mornings...it's not me.

I actually enjoy being on my own, but I need something to do, a purpose, an end product to show, to say 'look what I've done today' My life is no longer measurable by a monthly salary slip.

I've learnt to sew.
I've time to do arts and crafts, fix things, write, blog, play with the cat.
I'm capable now of dropping everything for an opportunity to go out.
I've stopped getting stressed if the dishwasher isn't unloaded the second it finishes.
I still shout, but I don't get angry anymore.

But I can't do this forever. I've nearly finished making curtains. There's only so many things I can make before I run out of places to put things or people to give them to.

So I've made a list of personal challenges based on what people here do, what people suggest I do and what I actually want to do.

So I'm turning my blog into a book. I don't have any plans to look for a publisher or self promote as an ebook. I've also written 30,000 words in chick lit style, that I'm determined to finish and will put it together for for mum to read.

I need to get back into using the gym, but it's winter and too cold when I get out after a swim, so I'm going for a walk every day. I need to set the DVD player upstairs so I can do a keep fit routine.

I'm going to try golf, I'm not having any lessons, I'm just going to go down the driving range over the road, we have some right handed clubs and I'll just smack a few balls around.

I've made contact with a woman who teaches at UNISA and asked her for further info so I can resume my studies.

I've made contact with several organisations I've been volunteering for to make arrangements for a more permanant volunteer role.

I'm researching and writing proposals for #bloggingforsouthafrica

So watch this space as I reinvent myself based on the limitations of my visa and family finances.

How to change the status on your visa

Step 1 Consult an agency, they'll do it with you and give you all the information you need.Sorry this is a myth/lie, what they'll actually do is tell you what you need to do, send you forms to complete and when you've done all the work, they just submit the paperwork.Take today for example:To get a study visa all I have to do is have an offer of a University place, easy?Google University, search through prospectus, submit enquiry form...and wait, email again a week later...and wait, email again the following week...and get in car after locating directions and drive to said University.Still going OK?...no not at all...arrive explain you are from the UK, have NO knowledge of the University system here, you have 240 credits towards a degree, but the course you were doing in the UK is not available her so you need some guidance and want to know how you get the credits transferred.You wait for half an hour because the people on the front desk haven't heard of The Open University, you are given the emails of the two people that run both degrees you may like to apply for and sent to another desk to find out about accredidation......Do you have a student number? have you enrolled yet? No and No, I just want to find out if it's feasible and the costs and processes involved......Do you have a copy of your Matric?...No I'm from the UK, we don't do Matric......So in 30 degree heat you are sent to the other side of the campus, a good ten minute walk away, to evidence your qualifications to date......We need to see a copy of your O levels...well I sat mine 24 years ago and as far as I'm aware you can't get into a UK university with O levels or GCSEs, you need A levels, surely...I explain I don't know where my O level papers are and had the same situation when I did my Teaching Degree, I also took the occupational route for Level 3 (A Level equivilant) and The University of Wolverhampton required I sat Adult Literacy and Numeracy at Level 3 during my course...We must see your O Levels...I don't have them...We can't help you...what can you do to help me?...I thrust my teaching degree at them...We must see your O levels...I leave....I walk back to my car, I'm banging my head against every wall I pass, I go back to the first place I started and asked to see someone to discuss my options, again...Do you have a student number? You need to enrole first......And again, a member of the public, seeing my distress and frustrations tells me to go to the 2nd floor to see student guidance......I get home to find an email...'Please make an appointment with student guidance to answer your questions...