I wrote this post about my life being put on hold but I didn't write about what and how I was going to make changes and TBH I'm still not really sure.
I'm a 'new' me, I lost my groove, I've realised it can never be recovered. I've lost my way, my identity and my groove and no amount of fighting is going to bring it all back.
Things have to change, they have to be different. So far I've fought it, life as an expat trailing spouse seems to be golf, tennis, bridge, coffee mornings...it's not me.
I actually enjoy being on my own, but I need something to do, a purpose, an end product to show, to say 'look what I've done today' My life is no longer measurable by a monthly salary slip.
I've learnt to sew.
I've time to do arts and crafts, fix things, write, blog, play with the cat.
I'm capable now of dropping everything for an opportunity to go out.
I've stopped getting stressed if the dishwasher isn't unloaded the second it finishes.
I still shout, but I don't get angry anymore.
But I can't do this forever. I've nearly finished making curtains. There's only so many things I can make before I run out of places to put things or people to give them to.
So I've made a list of personal challenges based on what people here do, what people suggest I do and what I actually want to do.
So I'm turning my blog into a book. I don't have any plans to look for a publisher or self promote as an ebook. I've also written 30,000 words in chick lit style, that I'm determined to finish and will put it together for for mum to read.
I need to get back into using the gym, but it's winter and too cold when I get out after a swim, so I'm going for a walk every day. I need to set the DVD player upstairs so I can do a keep fit routine.
I'm going to try golf, I'm not having any lessons, I'm just going to go down the driving range over the road, we have some right handed clubs and I'll just smack a few balls around.
I've made contact with a woman who teaches at UNISA and asked her for further info so I can resume my studies.
I've made contact with several organisations I've been volunteering for to make arrangements for a more permanant volunteer role.
I'm researching and writing proposals for #bloggingforsouthafrica
So watch this space as I reinvent myself based on the limitations of my visa and family finances.