Saturday, 14 July 2012

Why I'm no longer a groovy mum

I wrote this post about my life being put on hold but I didn't write about what and how I was going to make changes and TBH I'm still not really sure.

I'm a 'new' me, I lost my groove, I've realised it can never be recovered. I've lost my way, my identity and my groove and no amount of fighting is going to bring it all back.

Things have to change, they have to be different. So far I've fought it, life as an expat trailing spouse seems to be golf, tennis, bridge, coffee's not me.

I actually enjoy being on my own, but I need something to do, a purpose, an end product to show, to say 'look what I've done today' My life is no longer measurable by a monthly salary slip.

I've learnt to sew.
I've time to do arts and crafts, fix things, write, blog, play with the cat.
I'm capable now of dropping everything for an opportunity to go out.
I've stopped getting stressed if the dishwasher isn't unloaded the second it finishes.
I still shout, but I don't get angry anymore.

But I can't do this forever. I've nearly finished making curtains. There's only so many things I can make before I run out of places to put things or people to give them to.

So I've made a list of personal challenges based on what people here do, what people suggest I do and what I actually want to do.

So I'm turning my blog into a book. I don't have any plans to look for a publisher or self promote as an ebook. I've also written 30,000 words in chick lit style, that I'm determined to finish and will put it together for for mum to read.

I need to get back into using the gym, but it's winter and too cold when I get out after a swim, so I'm going for a walk every day. I need to set the DVD player upstairs so I can do a keep fit routine.

I'm going to try golf, I'm not having any lessons, I'm just going to go down the driving range over the road, we have some right handed clubs and I'll just smack a few balls around.

I've made contact with a woman who teaches at UNISA and asked her for further info so I can resume my studies.

I've made contact with several organisations I've been volunteering for to make arrangements for a more permanant volunteer role.

I'm researching and writing proposals for #bloggingforsouthafrica

So watch this space as I reinvent myself based on the limitations of my visa and family finances.


  1. I've just read this and the other post you linked to. It must be really hard. It sounds like you had a very busy purposeful life in the UK and I think I would miss that too if I were in your shoes.

    I do admire you in all this for setting out some new goals and going for them. A book sounds like a great challenge and based on the one chapter of something else you uploaded a while back, I'd certainly read it.

    Keep going Chicken Ruby - and good luck with the challenges. x

    1. thank you, ive spent too long trying to find things to do, now its time just to get on with whats available and what i can do and im good at

  2. Although it sounds like you've had a hard time for quite a while, this sounds like a positive piece. You have lots of new ideas for doing new things, and who knows where any of those things will lead, especially blogging for South Africa, also the book. I would read it too. Great that you have some major projects to get your teeth into. Polly

    1. I've been writing more of the book and trying to see if i can assemble my blog into something that flows

  3. Gosh, it is so difficult. I do sympathise.
    Good luck x.

  4. Fascinating, turning your blog into a book, I love that idea.

    1. ive started to try and make links between the blog posts to sort of make it flow, but i think i may have bitten off more than i can chew

  5. Sorry for taking so long to get to this post. Lots going on. You are as we all know in a tough situation and you are coping somehow and I admire you for that. Bought a book today which I might talk about if I actually read it, seems to be about how to adapt to a more indoors type life. Anyway, sounds like you are accepting some of your lot and challenging other bits. That may be balance. Time will tell. Whatever it is, I wish you all the very best with it.

    1. Let me know if you do a book review. I started the voluntary work today and my contact with the Uni came through today