Another challenge from kateonthinice

I've been very lax since the end of November with #groovymums. I spent 3 weeks in the UK, arrived back on the 21st of December to do all the christmas shopping, then MIL arrived on the 5th January. Alex ended up in hospital after a heely accident and Dan had his 17th birthday today. Both boys are now on their school trip. Alex in Durban and Dan somewhere in the North West Provence.

So with a bit of time to spare I'm meeting challenges set over on http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/fancy-a-challenge/

1. Body – How are you sleeping? Do you qualify as sleep-deprived? Are you a mum to a baby who just isn’t sleeping through yet? What toll is that taking? Do you have older children creeping into bed with you? What does your bed look like? Is it comfortable and supportive enough? Could you give your bed a makeover in some way perhaps with scented pillows or a colourful bedspread? Could you have a nap at some point in the day? How can you ensure you get better quality sleep?

KIDS ARE 12 & 17 AND I STILL HAVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS. ILLNESS IS THE USUAL ONE, FOLLOWED BY I'VE SLEPT TOO LONG IN THE DAYTIME DUE TO THE HEAT NOW WIDE AWAKE AT 3AM, STUCK IN A VICIOUS CIRCLE. THE BED IS KINGSIZE, ROOM FOR 4, AND ONE OF THE ONES ADVERTISED WITH THE GLASS OF WINE THAT DOESN'T SPILL WHEN A SMALL CHILD JUMPS ON THE BED. (WE'VE TRIED IT)

2. Mind – Our children have reward charts and get stickers when they do well? Could you play with this idea and create your own chart or adapt a child’s one? What are those things that you know you should do but don’t seem to get around to? How can you motivate yourself? In my continuous attempt to get mums to say good things about themselves, why not tell me what you deserve a reward for?

I'VE TRIED AND FAILED WITH STAR CHARTS FOR THE KIDS AND AS FOR ME I'D BE HAPPY WITH A ROUTINE. I'VE SPENT THE LAST YEAR SETTLING INTO A NEW LIFE IN SOUTH AFRICA AND HOUSING GUESTS AND TWO TRIPS BACK TO THE UK. I CAN'T WORK (LAWS OF THE COUNTRY) BEEN VOLUNTEERING. IT'S DIFFICULT FOR ME TO MOTIVATE MYSELF WITHOUT THE ROUTINE OF WORK WHICH I'VE BEEN USED TO FOR THE PAST 23 YEARS (MINUS MATERNITY LEAVE) SO AS FROM MONDAY, WHEN THE WORK/SCHOOL/HOME LIFE RETURNS TO NORMAL, I'M TIMETABLING MYSELF TO DO CERTAIN THINGS. STARTING WITH SORTING OUT THE FAMILY PHOTOS AND FOCUSING ON THE JOB MARKET.
I WOULD LIKE A REWARD FOR MY SHEER DETERMINATION TO MAKE THIS MOVE TO SOUTH AFRICA A SUCCESS.

3. Spirit – Is the spirit willing? You can respond to this one in whatever way you see fit.

THE ONLY SPIRIT I SEE FIT TO CONSIDER IS THE ONE IN THE BOTTLE, THIS MONTH IT IS GIN.
ON A SERIOUS NOTE IM FOCUSING ON GETTING BACK INTO THE ROUTINE OF SWIMMING A MILE A DAY.

4. Blog – Have you attended a blogger event? Have you met any bloggers in the flesh? Would you like to do? Why is that? I am speaking at Britmums Live so I hope some of my lovely Groovy Mums will be there to hold my hand.

NOPE NEVER BEEN TO A BLOGGING EVENT AND DON'T INTEND TO EVER GO TO ONE EITHER. I STARTED BLOGGING AS A WAY OF EXPLAINING THINGS IN MORE DEPTH THAN THE 140 CHARACTERS ON TWITTER WOULD ALLOW. I LOVE THE WAY TWITTER ALLOWS ME TO FIND OTHER LIKE MINDED PEOPLE AND MY PREFERANCE IS TO SPEAK WITH PEOPLE WITH TEENAGERS, FOOTBALL, EXPAT LIFESTYLES. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN WHETHER OR NOT YOU THINK CO-SLEEPING AND BREAST FEEDING IS BEST, BEEN THERE DONE THAT, PASSED ON THE ADVICE ETC ETC.


5. It is the creator of Winnie the Pooh’s birthday this week. So, as a bit of fun, why not work out which Winnie the Pooh character you are most like and why? It might help you to discover what is great about you and also the things that you could usefully change.AFTER A LONG DISCUSSION WITH HUBBY IT HAS BEEN DECIDED I AM SIMILAR TO KANGA AS WE ARE BOTH THE ONLY FEMALE IN AN ALL MALE ENVIRONMENT.


6. The Big Question – How is your sex life? Oh, I know we are not supposed to talk about religion, sex and politics but you know me, I like breaking the rules. So how are things in the bedroom (or your venue of choice)? Has sex become a chore? Do you find it difficult to make time for sex? Are you too exhausted for sex? Have you managed to spice up your love-life? Be brave and reveal all on your blog or just do some quite reflecting on this issue.

AFTER A LONG DISCUSSION WITH HUBBY IT HAS BEEN DECIDED THAT HE DOES NOT WANT ME TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION, HOWEVER I'M GOING TO IGNORE HIM AND TELL YOU THAT THERE ARE NO COMPLAINTS FROM EITHER OF US, NOTHING NEEDS SPICING UP, NO ADDITIONAL EQUIPMENT IS NEEDED.

So you've broken your arm...what next?

Saturday night, your child gets brought home, he's tripped over his own feet, fallen and you can see straight away it's broken...

Off to A&E...where is A&E OMFG...

There's a hospital near us, Unitas, Peter went there to the travel clinic, they must have an A&E, it's going to be a long night...oh wait it's not the UK, we've got private medical care which I'm still not sure how to use, but here goes.

Arrive at hospital at 6pm, Peter meets us there, he was out at the driving range.


Straight in, give a few details, Alex is weighed, blood pressure taken. Asked to go out front and set up a file for payment...

After the previous hassles we had with Dan in A&E and making payments, it's decided I will complete all the necessary paperwork as Peter travels so much with his job, it makes sense for me to recieve the bills and deal with it all.

Now bare in mind it's a good job Peter is there or Alex, aged 12 would now be all by himself, already crying, in pain and quite distressed.



Give our med aid details, ask if they have an account with our providers and will all costs be covered, reassured yes, sign forms...hang on a minute, I'm not signing this...told to cross out anything I don't agree with and initial it...the bit I cross out says something along the lines of 'I accept that I will not hold anyone responsible for any negligence caused by our staff during any procedures and will not hold them liable'...er feck off.

By now it's 6.45pm I return to Alex, an xray has been booked, he's been informed his arm is probably broken and he may need surgery, again am grateful Peter is here as he'd had to reassure him it would be ok.



By 7.30pm he's been xrayed, it is broken, he will need surgery and to stay in for the night and at 7.45pm we're on our way to the ward...the adult's ward, he's wheeled into a room with two beds...er can he have his own room...yes, if we pay for it...I explain I'm not happy with my son sharing a room with a male, a grown up, a possible paedophile, No I'm not being over the top I worked in child protection in the UK, I demand admission to Paedeatrics.



Once Alex was settled, head phones plugged in, I went home to wash, pack an over night bag and grab something to eat, leaving Peter watching Alex, watching the TV.


I returned to the hospital at 9.30pm. The hospital had fed and watered Peter and sorted out bedding for me for the night. Peter went home and an hour later as promised, Alex weas wheeled down to theatre. I was dressed like a smurf, Alex counted back from 10...'3....2....1 I'm still awake mummy' then out like a light...


by 11.50pm we were back on the ward, bone realigned, he wakes, sits up and yells 'it's blue, I like it, I want hot chocolate and crisps and chocolate, my sandwiches, where are my sandwiches, yuk they're tuna, the nurse said they were chicken, where's my xray, I want my xray, did they cut my top, where's my socks, mum, mum'

I was dispatched to the vending machines for his order, he ate, fell asleep and I left the hospital at 1am, the hospital is only 7kms away and I ignored the lights and the speed limit and drove home.

Alex was very pleased to see me in the morning, he'd been in pain over night as his cast was too tight, the baby, the drip, the nurses had kept him awake all night, he'd been given more pain meds in the night and the nurses said he was so funny with the stuff he was coming out with....home by 10am.



PS despite telling the Dr his cast was too tight, twice, we were ignored, and had to return on Tuesday evening to have the cast cut to relieve the pressure after he spent the day with his arm elevated and clutching an ice pack...I refused to pay any additional charges and made a follow up appointment for 3 weeks.

The bills started coming in and dribs and drabs, some were to pay myself and claim back, others direct...I informed our med aid company that I wasn't happy with this, had a little strop (I'm getting good at this) and all bills were paid direct by the time we got back off holiday.

Does wrapping kids in cotton wool help them or us?

I have 5 kids (3 boys my own and 2 step children) who I have raised collectively since October 1999 aged 17-28.

There have been many 'bullying' incidents where my kids have been either the instigators or the receivers. Which I have been involved with sorting out. Traipsing to schools and knocking on parents doors of which I'll tell you about another time. I thought for now I'd concentrate on the incidents that have involved trips to the hospital and/or GP.

The fractured skull - didn't take the portable high chair to mums - result one child aged 2, one breakfast stool, one concrete floor, several trips to hospital.

The stickle brick incident - 2am dash to hospital as middle son then aged 2, swallowed a piece, a barium meal showed a void in his stomach and there it remains to this day. After 19 years it has caused no problems so surgery has not been an issue. Doctors words of advice...he'll know when he passes it..maybe or never.

The iron incident - phone rings - I leave lounge for 2 mins - result one child, youngest also aged 2, many trips to hospital and Doctors for daily then weekly changes of dressings for 2 months for ironed skin on left hand.

The cement mixer - one child, aged 10, fell off cement mixer, slicing skin on upper right arm - trip to hospital, then antibiotics and months of dressing changes because he picked it and got an infection.

The Broken Nose - one child, middle son aged 12, got into a fight over a pop bottle, phone call from ambulance crew - 5 hours in casualty on a Friday night and two follow up operations with the plastic surgeon.

The Black eye - one child, eldest aged 17, got into a fight over a girl - phone call from Police. One night in hosptial several further visits to drain off excess fluid. Offending child prosecuted.

Heelies and a golf cart. Child then aged 11, tripped over nothing and broke his arm, brought home by friend's father. I could tell straight away his wrist was broken and he'd need surgery. Then the following year he was hanging onto the back of a golf cart, driven by a child the same age, he let go and smacked his face on the ground, resulting in a black eye and some rather impressive swelling and a night in A&E.

And finally, the Rugby and cricket experiences. One child, aged 14 and 16, three separate incidents. Phone call from the rugby coach 'It's OK, son is fine, St Johns are with him, we're waiting for an ambulance'
The second occasion phone call from school 'It's OK, son is fine, the ambulance crew are with him, they are waiting for the air ambulance'
On both occasions every thing was fine with him apart from a few bruises, headache and stiff neck.
The cricket incident involved a ball bouncing under his helmet, hitting him in the neck, causing his lung to collapse

Lessons learnt.
1. Take everything you need for young kids with you
2. Make sure you are always contactable when away from your kids
3. Make sure you have a tank of fuel, a book, change of clothes ready for an
overnight/late hosptial stay
4. A good friend to look after your other kids.
5. Panic is good.
6. Don't let your kids play Rugby
7. Don't leave 2 year old unsupervised or unattended cement mixers
8. Teach your kids to run away and fast from trouble
9. Expect a visit from social workers and/or police at some time in your life
10. Crying is good, very good, especially when anyone from #9 turns up