If I was a relocation expert, this is how things would be done

If I was a relocation expert

These are the essentials for any and every expat, whether it is their 1^st or 100^th relocation, everywhere is different, every country has different requirements for doing things that you consider easy to do in your previous country. 

I would start with information on how the visa applications would work and timescale and support client through this process.

For a fee I would provide

·      a taxi to the airport for their arrival

·      hotel room(s) with a balcony or at least with a window that opens

·      options for clients at their convenience to meet on the day they arrive

·      a sim card having forst checked the clients phone is unlocked

·      a list of emergency phone numbers and details of nearest hospital, doctor etc

·      information on medical aid, insurance companies for personal effects, car hire, car and pet 
    insurance

·      letters from employer with info and details required to set up local bank accounts

·      a map of the area with transport routes and a local travel card

·      arrange localisation tour

If I was assisting with a house search I would ensure that the following happened:

·      I’d request the budget and requirements for a property, based on their current lifestyle and  
    preferences

·      Arrange viewings of houses

·      Meet with landlord and client to complete a snag list and ensure all repairs needed were written 
    into the contact before handing over any money and a timescale in which work will be completed,
    inform clients of all the laws in regards to dealing with landlords, notice periods

·      Be at the property when above is being carried out to assist client with language and cultural 
    differences

·      Set up electricity/water/phone/internet depending on clients preferences and visa requirements

·      Inform clients of all costs related to the above in advance of the relocation.

Conversations with my gardener

Him:      I have a problem, I can’t carry the food home you’ve given me

Me:        How is this MY problem? You need to make a plan

                15 minutes later

Him:      I don’t have a problem anymore

Me:        Tell me how did you solve your problem?

Him:      I ate my food

Him:      The spade won’t work

Me:        How can a spade not work?

Him:      I can’t make it work

Me:        Go fetch me the spade and I’ll show you how it works (puts shoes on ready to demonstrate

                how to use a spade)

Him:      (returns with spade)

Me:        Oh you mean the spade is broken (looks at the 2 halves, buys new spade)

Him:      I’ve washed the lawn mower

Me:        OK, thank you

Him:      Where must I empty the bucket of water I put the lawn mower in?

Me:        You put the lawn mower in the water?

Him:      Yes

Me:        It’s electric, it won’t work now

Him:      Why?

Me:        It’s electric, electricity and water don’t mix, give you your phone

Him:      Why?

Me:        I’m going to run it under the tap for you and clean it

Him:      No, don’t do that you’ll break it

Me:        That’s what has happened to the lawn mower

Him:      Thank you for explaining. I won’t do it again

Me:        (buys new lawn mower)