Midsomers Murders - move you fools

Watching Midsomers Murders on the TV and following the twitter stream. It seems to be the general opinion of the viewers the best thing to do is to move.

I once lived in a village for 5 years and during that time the following events occurred:

A hot air balloon crashed in the park.

A mans body was found, coroner ruled it as an open verdict.

There was a supermarket blackmail attempt on Gateway supermarket, which involved glass in jars of baby food and ended in a mass armed siege and his suicide. (shot himself) The blackmailer ran the pub.

A land slide, rendering several homes unsafe to live in.

A suspicious 'gas explosion' killing the occupant of the house.

A convicted child abuser moved into the village and was hounded out.

Armed drugs raids (numerous) in more than one house.

Endless, numerous affairs with neighbours resulting in many public show downs.

A murder.

There was an armed siege on my house 6 months after I sold it, the new owner had raided a post office.

This was a small village with a local shop, Doctors surgery, Primary school and chip shop, with a weekly visit from the mobile library.