Word of the week - Coffee

I love coffee. I drink around 12 cups/mugs a week. I only drink lattes. I can't stand instant coffee, the smell of it will make me gag. I make at least 7 coffees at home. I use my own mugs mostly and get a discount and use my blue light card.

Both of these are from Starbucks and whilst they cost around £20 each, they keep the coffee warm for around 3-4 hours and don't leak, even when upside down.

My favourite is a Starbucks. 

My most picturesque view was my local Costa Coffee in Dubai.

My local now is Caffè Nero in Malvern.

I make coffee at home.

I drink it at home in the garden.

In the car on my way to work.

I make coffee in the van.

Whilst out and about.

But my favourite place to drink it is in the coffee shop, with my laptop or a book or best of all with a friend for a natter and a catch up.

I went for a run on Sunday morning. Peter met me in the coffee shop, he brought my book with him. I had another coffee in the evening and read some more of my book in the garden wrapped up in a blanket.

On Monday I had coffee on my way to work, then grabbed a takeaway coffee from the services on the way to the football.

On Tuesday it was coffee on the way to work and coffee at Nero's in the evening.

On Wednesday there was coffee on the way to work and a coffee after gym.

On Thursday there was coffee on the way to work only.

On Friday there will be coffee on the way to work and a coffee after the gym.

On Saturday there will be coffee as I drive to Swindon and coffee after parkrun and my annual christmas walk with my friend.

Getting a coffee around the world.

In the UK all coffees are standardised, regardless of whether it's from a chain or an independent cafe. Trust me, I know. I drink a lot of coffee, my favourite being a latte. That's a single shot of espresso for me and filled with steamed milk. Hubby prefers a cappuccino which is a shot of espresso, then equal amounts of milk and froth.

Every coffee shop does vary with the way they take the order, the stupid names for cup sizes and almost all not understanding that 'regular' means the 'middle sized cup'.i

You'd think that ordering a latte and a cappuccino would be an easy thing. You'd think it would be a standard drink and the only thing you need to think about would be the size, whether it was a take away or drink in order and the size of the cup/mug.....but you'd be wrong.

In South Africa when you order a cappuccino you get asked 'do you want cream or foam' It's foam, always foam. And then randomly when you order a latte they will add a shot of honey or cinnamon powder and automatically put chocolate sprinkles on the cappuccino.

In Dubai it's completely pot luck if you get what you think you ordered. But you have to agree the views are nice, even if you are sat by the side of a road.

In Canada every drink comes with chocolate sprinkles.

In America when I've asked for a latte, its been served iced, unless I've asked for a hot one. One I asked for a 'hot latte' in other countries, they've looked at me as if that's the only way it's served.

In Australia you have to ask for the sugar when you place the order or you get told off if you ask for sugar after they've made your coffee.

Almost every barista greets you with 'can I help?'

So I reply with '1 large latte and a small cappuccino to take away, no chocolate on top'

Which is followed with and this bit annoys me everywhere:

Them: Which drink would you like? Me: 1 large latte and a small cappuccino to take away, no chocolate on top

Them: What size? Me: (I've said twice) Large

Them: Drink in/take away? (sighs) Take away

(repeats process for 2nd drink, says 3 times 'NO CHOCOLATE'

Me:I said NO CHOCOLATE

Them: Goes to scrap chocolate off

Me: Please remake drink

Them: Huffs

Me: .....

Except for Starbucks, they greet you by asking your name, except they don't say ' Can I get your name?' they just state NAME, then spell and pronounce it wrong regardless.

My Sunday Photo - Enjoying a Starbucks

Pre lock down I would go out for a Starbucks every single day of the week. I'd pick a different location each day, whether it was the Souk Madinat with views over looking the Burj Al Arab or a drive through on my way home or to a mall.

I went out everyday for a coffee for 5 years that we lived in Dubai to just get out the house, for the random chat with a stranger and to stop me going stir crazy.

We have a coffee machine like this in the UK and Dubai, but the actual drinking of the latte wasn't the experience, it was the going out. Up until now I've always drunk tea at home.

Since lock down started the day before I arrived back in the UK and I made a 4 hour journey by several trains across the country, without being able to purchase a latte as I would've normally done and without being able to visit the local Caffe Nero stores as I favour in the UK, I had to learn to make my own lattes and quickly.

Since I've managed to get a Starbucks blend from Tesco click and collect this week, I've been drinking coffee from Waitrose, their own blend. I've realised even more it's never been about the coffee, it's been about the going out.

So I've been going out for the past 10 weeks with a take away latte. I've been going out to the garden to sit and read or blog. I've been going out with my take away cup as I've walked to do my food shop or taken Bob on a walk.

During lockdown I've consumed 71 lattes. Each and every time I've made one, I've put £3 in a pot and so far I've totalled  a saving of *drum roll* £213.

I will go back one day to the coffee shops, but from now on I'll steer clear of the big chains (unless I'm travelling), but these visits from now on will be to meet with family and friends, not just to visit for something to do. I'm learning to find things to do that don't involve me spending money and just going out for the sake of it.

Coffee shop Christmas disposable cups - why i don't use them

Yes I love Christmas and all things Christmas related and I love coffee shops. But what I don't love is the disposable cups designed for takeaway drinks.

I use my own coffee cup for take aways, regardless of the coffee shop I use.

Most chains have a Christmas reusable cup out now, but I don't need to buy a new one, the one I have is perfectly adequate.

I have an issue with coffee shops in Dubai regardless of the chain. Every time I request a coffee to drink in, they automatically reach for a disposable cup.

This was obviously drunk here by a previous customer.

I've learnt to place my order as follows (size) (type of drink) and automatically add 'in a ceramic mug and don't warm it'

In the UK I always get asked 'to drink in or take away' but Dubai doesn't work like that. I think it saves on the staff having to wash up as it's easier to scoop disposable cups up and put them in the bin.

I stop regularly at the local petrol station for a latte, using my own cup. I often pick up a banana at the same time.

Whilst I ordered my coffee, asked for a banana, went to the counter and paid, then back to collect my coffee, this had happened.

Not only was my banana in a plastic bag, it was then placed in a plastic bag.

Sometimes I just give up.........

One Daily Positive - Week 28

I've decided not to mention on Project 365 when I'm feeling ill as it's quite depressing to realise it's 90% of the time, so from now on, when I'm pain free, I'll let you know.

Please also assume that it is bloody hot here and humid, we're on the coast. It is NOT a dry heat. In the UK winters you have a windchill factor, In Dubai it's called humidex and it adds 10-15c to the actual temperature.

Think opening the door to a fan assisted oven, with the heating on full blast, all the clothing on you own and a hairdryer on the back of your neck and you're somewhere near just how hot it is here.

On Tuesday it turned 28c to 53c, it's just not possible to function in that heat dripping with sweat. I'll let you know when temps drop to 'manageable'

188 Sunday Walked Bob before sunrise, the humidity is unbearable now. I did some batch cooking and cleaned the house top to bottom. Joined Peter for a coffee and did some shopping, then spent the evening watching TV.

Can't wait for this station to open and I get get around Dubai by public transport.

189 Monday Dentists for mouldings to have 3 teeth made, which will be inserted into the dental implant posts next week. Drove onto Deira to wander around the markets, home to collect Peter and drop him at the train for his trip to Saudi and called in for a coffee with a friend in the Marina.

190 Tuesday Dog park day, washed Bob and started on sorting out the office. Had a really funny day, nothing happened, but I left the dog park in tears. I've been mulling over the dog incident on Saturday and been having flashbacks to the night my father died 2 years ago on Thursday. I came to terms with his death, it wasn't a shock that he died, just the manner and sitting with him feeling so helpless, just waiting for the inevitable. Spent the afternoon dismantling the old MFI furniture and organising the study.

191 Wednesday I had a Doctors appointment, identifying I needed some help, a lot of questions were asked and answers given. Grief is one thing, but trauma is another and it was strangely comforting for me to be told I'd experienced a traumatic event. Had coffee at the Souk Madinat, then off to collect a prescription, food shop and home to sort out the black out curtains. pub quiz in the evening.

192 Thursday Peter arrived home in the early hours. Had a sweep through of the house and put the rugs back in place, cooked a roast dinner, mainly in the slow cooker. Went for a swim late afternoon.
Peter came home from work with a coffee for me as he knew I wasn't allowed to drive today, until I knew how the meds would affect me.

193 Friday Brunch with friends, it involved dancing on the tables, the morning and evening were written off.

194 Saturday Decided to spend the day walking around Dubai Mall. It's the World's largest mall. All the malls are built/owned/designed by only a few companies, therefore they all look pretty much the same with the same stores, just a different layout. Finally got round to booking car hire and a hotel in Sydney ready for my trip to visit child 3 in 10 days time.

On the blog this week:

How can I manage my stress levels and not take everything to the nth degree?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Week 25 One Daily Positive

It was a year ago on Monday last year I arrived back in the UK for the summer. Little did I know, I only had just over 3 weeks left with my father before his sudden death on July 11th. I can't believe we're almost at the anniversary, time doesn't heal, it just changes things. This week we had father's day and my mum's birthday and then next week it's my birthday, then all the firsts other than his death will have been covered. For me, I'm on countdown, back in the UK, starting to recall the final weeks. I had so many other things to do in my time. Child 5 was leaving school and needed support with finding employment and somewhere to live. That finally happened in May. I was going to visit child 4 to say goodbye before he went away with work and child 3 was going to Australia. he is still there.

I've been keeping myself busy since Peter left last week, booking flights, car hire, hotels etc and uploading almost 2000 children's names onto a data base for a charity in South Africa who will receive Christmas gifts this year.

168 Sunday Spent the morning cataloguing my father's stamp collection and doing some cleaning and washing. Set off to Chepstow early afternoon for a wonder, pub lunch, some blogging and called in to see my niece and child 2 and 2a after their honeymoon.

169 Monday After a morning with mum, I met a friend for lunch by the river in Chepstow after a visit to Tintern Abbey and a quick look at Chepstow Castle. This is the same friend who features heavily in my weekly posts, she lives in Dubai. Our next meet up will be in Germany in July. Mum cooked dinner and after watching the football I called in at the pub.

170 Tuesday I have a mental block at what happened today other than a food shop and having to lug my trolley up the stairs as I didn't pack in individual bags. Mum coming down for her tea and defrosting the freezer. A visit to the coffee shop was probably involved and I think I may have gone to the pub in the evening.

171 Wednesday Called in at Mum's with her birthday cake, then went to Ross-on-Wye to meet up with Instagrammer RubbishWife for a 3 hour marathon natter and coffee. Did some shopping, organised photo's on my laptop and typed up name lists for the Santa Shoebox data base. Called in to see my friend and her twins and then popped in at another friends to say hi.

172 Thursday I met the lovely Chloe and baby daughter from #bestbootforward in Monmouth this morning, we met online about 8 years ago and meet up as often as possible when I'm in the UK. I then went to the pub, but forgot I was going to a keep fit class with the twins mum in the evening. Popped in to see the Things.

173 Friday I've been reorganising the flat, looking through dad's stamps and lining up buyers, it's involved a lot of rearranging furniture and cleaning and I managed to fix the dishwasher. popped out for coffee, cleaned windows and sat in the park to do some blogging.

174 Saturday Usual visit to the coffee shop where I can blog and plan my day without getting distracted by stamps or the world cup.

On the blog this week:

My Sunday Photo I compared the oldest building in the two countries I live between. In Dubai, Al Fahidi Fort, built the same time that Chepstow Castle fell into Decay.

Had enough of the World Cup? I haven't, I love it. I first wrote this post in 2010 for the World Cup in South Africa and have republished my survival guide for each football event as they've occured.

One Daily Positive - Week 46

There have been a couple of trips to the pub, to see friends, lots of walks and bike rides and plenty of lie in’s this week. I’ve started on a course of steroids and I'm feeling much better, although I've now started to feel sick when I lie down at night.

316 Sunday Poppy
I joined in with Remembrance Sunday service in town. Disappointed with a handful of women who talked through the two minute silence, Lords Prayer and National Anthem. Feeling worse health wise, shortness of breath now and constant coughing, antibiotics finished and started a course of steroids. Watched TV and had a sleep after lunch and late afternoon I walked to mums to collect her car for the morning.

317 Monday Silhoutte
Off to Gloucester with child 2 and 2a to visit child 1.

318 Tuesday Beauty
Posted the last parcel to child 4 in the Middle East and to 4a for Christmas. Sent of a box of goodies to 3 and 3a out in Australia and a few bits and pieces to friends in the UK. I had an upset in Waitrose thinking about my Dad when I realised I won't be doing any Christmas shopping for him this year, a few kind words from a stranger who recognised my struggles was much appreciated and prevented further tears. Spent the evening with a friend.

319 Wednesday Happy
Had a lovely lie in and Mum phoned she had cabin fever and wanted to pop out for a bit so we went to Abergavenny for a spot of shopping and lunch. I fixed one of dads bikes up and cycled back to the flat. Child 1 was taken to hospital after being unable to weight bare, X-rays showed nothing broken but a worrying few hours while we waited for news.

320 Thursday Muse
Christmas cards and letters written, made several phone calls to sort out Mum's flat purchase and helped friends out with some advice. A new neighbour moved in, he's very noisy at 6.30am in the morning, what is it with people unable to walk upstairs without clanging the rails with their shopping and inability to close their flat door quietly?

321 Friday Nature
Coffee in town with Mum, more phone calls and paperwork then over to mums for a family party. I cycled over and took the car back dropping off a bay and olive tree for my friend to look after when Mum moves.

322 Saturday Colour
I had a lie in and wandered into town for a coffee and post the last of my Christmas cards, I then spent the afternoon in the flat, blogging and catching up with the week's linkys and popped out to visit a friend, before having a long soak in the bath and an early night.

On the blog this week:

My Sunday Photo - R is for Rain. I was only away from the UK for just under 3 weeks, it appears I've returned to winter now.

TriumphantTales TweensTeensBeyond PoCoLo Mother of the Groom. Child 2 and 2a are getting married in June 2018. What the hell am I going to wear?

AnimalTales and linking up with Z is for Zoo. Dubai Zoo closes it's doors after 50 years.  and Bobs pre school assessment. Day care for Bob the Dog.

My Sunday Photo - Week 147 - N is for Normal

I'm back home in Dubai until November 6th, the purpose of my trip home is to find a new house to move to, we're trying to downsize. Apparently people in Dubai don't know what downsizing is and all the houses we've looked at so far are bigger than the 4 bed villa we live in now, however, we live near the beach in a prime location, so by moving a bit further inland we can save almost a third in rent and move to a much better quality home.

I'll be in the UK again for 3 weeks to finish helping my mum move, then retuning to Dubai for our actual move and won't be back in the UK until February.

I'm struggling to adapt to the time difference, driving on the wrong side of the road again (I keep getting in the wrong side of the car) and the heat, despite the summer being well and truly over, it's still 35c in the day.

It's been emotionally draining returning to Dubai. Since we've lived abroad I've always worried that every trip home could be the last time I see my parents. Sadly this year, my father died while I was in the UK, hence my extended stay and returning home has meant having to go through things all over again. Telling people when they ask if I've had a good summer in the UK and having some of his things around me that I'm rediscovering, but this time without family around to support me. I'm not looking forward to returning to the UK next month as it all seems so final, but I get one last visit to the home he shared with my mum, before she moves with some of his belongings in a box to her new home.

It's strange being back in Dubai after 3 months in the UK, but it's nice to have a break. I'm not doing anything different than normal, going out and drinking coffee and blogging, I just happen to have different scenery to look at.

New Years Resolutions or What I'm cutting down on in the new year

I don't make New Year Resolutions, although I do try all year round to cut down down on things and stop doing other things, whether it's swearing, loosing weight, smoking, being a better person, I never stop trying.

However this year I am going to make a real focus on what I drink. I don't mean alcohol, I don't actually drink a lot of that, contrary to what some people may think. It's coffee and soft drinks. Whether it's made at home, is a take away or a soft drink in my lunch box.

What will be a big help with what I'm intending on cutting out is the fact I am now working and won't have the free time to pursue this activity of lounging around coffee shops, working at home, getting hot and just grabbing a can of Iced tea from the fridge. I'm not going to stop having them altogether, but just go back to having a coffee out as a treat and not a day to day (sometimes twice a day) activity.

I've put on loads of weight since moving to Dubai, I believe it's due to the amount of sugar in the soft drinks and the milk in the coffee, it'll also have something to do with 9 times out of 10 having a donut, slice of cake or cookie when I stop for a latte.

Week 34 - My Sunday Photo

Drinking coffee with a view of the Burj Khalifa and the Dubai skyline in Starbucks. 

Can't wait now till winter when I can sit outside and enjoy the view rather than looking through a piece of tinted glass sat under the air conditioning. 

Week 33 - My Sunday Photo

When you live as an expat there are many tears.

Tears of joy for hello.

Tears of sadness for goodbye.

There is also lots of coffee as you sit and wait for your family and friends to arrive.

Expats don't need to programme the airport into their GPS/Sat Nav.

Their car takes them there, like your car does the school run or the journey to work.

Expats know the best parking.

Expats always have the right change for the fees.

Expats spend so much time at the airport that their phones and laptops automatically connect to the wifi, just like it does when they walk through their front door at at home.

This morning at 5am I've dropped hubby at T1 Dubai Airports, he's off to Turkey with work for the week.

We never drop and run, we always park up and say a proper goodbye.

I have 2 hours on my ticket, I wait at the airport until he's at the gate, I sit and have a coffee, he calls me, I go home. Track his flight, he messages when he arrives at the airport and again at the hotel.

Then we both get on with the week and we do the same in reverse on Friday when he comes home.

Week 26 - My Sunday Photo

Here I am, another coffee, in yet another mall, in yet another country.

All this travel is getting tiring and somewhat boring. Going new places and meeting new people isn't boring in itself, but the actual flights and journeys are tedious and when you arrive in a new country, everything is all too familiar these days.

As a family we've travelled all over Europe and into Scandinavia, explored the West Coast of America, visited Turkey, Tunisia, Egypt and finally ended up living abroad, first in South Africa and now Dubai. We've travelled just the two of us, with a combination of up to all 5 of our children and we've travelled separately, either to visit family, experience new places or with work.

I'm currently visiting Canada on my own, the kids are in the UK, hubby is back in Dubai. Everything looks familiar. I have no idea these days as to what companies originated in what country.

There are coffee shops, stores and fast food restaurants that I've shopped at, in the UK, South Africa, Dubai and now here in Canada. I'm tired of living my life indoors, in malls. In South Africa one shops in the malls due to safety, in Dubai it's because of the heat.

I've visited a few little towns during my stay in Canada. The City of Hamilton itself is lovely to walk around, old buildings, churches and museums with open spaces, parks and a gorgeous walk down James Street filled with individual shops, selling fruit and veg, clothing and antiques as well as quirky art pieces and non chain coffee shops.

I had lunch and the edge of Lake Erie, explored a small part of Lake Ontario and next weekend I'm off camping in Algonquin, a 4 hour drive north east of Hamilton. I'm looking forward to being in the middle of nowhere, away from Tim Hortons and exploring a part of Canada that not a lot of foreign tourists will get to experience.

Life after kids

I'm 44, I've been a mum for 23 years.

I stopped parenting in January in 2014, despite still having a child in full time education till July

The second youngest son and last child left home in January 2014, aged 19, having finished his matric in South Africa and moved back to the UK. He is based currently in Yorkshire and is moving further north in October 2015. Returning to the UK as an adult was a difficult process.

It would seem that most peoples children leave home over a period of time. They go to Uni or get a job whilst still living at home until they can save up for their own place and/or they live nearby and still spend a lot of their spare time with their families. For us this isn't the case and we've had little input into their lives as adults which you can read about here.

On my last couple of trips to the UK the logistics of trying to visit all 5 children has been tricky. The youngest and eldest 2 children live in Gloucestershire, I stay in Monmouth. Obviously the eldest child with her disabilities doesn't work and I can see here whenever I want, however any trips out have to be kept to her routine of feeding and changing and her bedtime needs, the youngest lives 15 miles from her and I have to visit around school hours and the eldest is unemployed so as long as I give him his bus fare he can come and meet me with his siblings.

I don't have a base where I can take the children to, which would make life a lot easier and with the other 2 boys living in Leeds and York visits to them are costly and tiring but I do them willingly.

I've reached the conclusion that even if we were still living in Malvern, UK, we'd have the same logisitcal issues and the reality is that the adult children have their own lives, jobs/education, friends and they probably wouldn't want to traipse backwards and forwards on the train, on their weekends off to sit with their mum, doing what exactly.

I do feel cheated out of the last few years of parenthood with the youngest being in boarding school, but then he was in full time boarding when we lived in the UK anyway, he was just 20 minutes down the road and was home for all the school holidays, mind you he still is home for the major school holidays and often spends his exe at weekends with his mates who also board.

I have suffered with empty nest syndrome, however a week on both the good and the bad kicked in and had me in tears again, but a change of country and setting up our new child free home in Dubai has really helped with my adjustment.

But there really is life after kids. I started my journey as a mother aged 21, there is so much out there for me to see, achieve and be part of. But until our expat journey comes to an end I'm adapting to life after kids with so much free time I don't know what to do with myself. I expect when we return to the UK at some point in time, I'll pick up at the very least a job, hopefully a career again, even though I haven't worked for nearly 5 years, my experience volunteering in South Africa and living on two continents will count for something. I'm also assuming that there may be grand children by the time we return to the UK in a couple of years time and who knows what else may happen.

I'm spending large amounts of time on my own as hubbies job is taking him away more often and further afield.

I'm now learning to embrace my 'me time' sit back, relax and enjoy the simple things in life, such as

A nice leisurely breakfast every morning

I can also eat it in bed

 Sitting in the garden in the evenings, reading a book and enjoying a glass of wine

 Playing with the cat and dog, long walks and trips out to the lakes.

Cups of coffee with friends or just me and my laptop

Evenings on the beach and a swim in the sea

And the sweetie jar actually contains sweets

And lots of travel to see the children in the UK, have one of the kids coming to visit this week and another in July, visit new countries, I'm off to Canada on the 17th June and return to familiar ones to see friends, back to South Africa in October.