Tuesday, 29 January 2019

Daughter in laws first visit to our home.

Over the past 6 years child 2 has known 2a, she has never been to our home. Nothing wierd about that as we live abroad and it's not been practical for them to visit us. I spend half the year in the UK and Peter joins me often and as they live the closet to where we are based we see more of them than the other children.

Over the past 6 years we've met up with 2 and 2a in a pub, her parents home, my parents, gone shopping and more recently in their home and in the 1 bed flat we own in the UK near to where they live.

We've been visitors in their lives in a similar way to all the family members over the past 8 years since moving abroad.

I never gave much thought to 2a's visit with us in regards to her seeing the real us, until she arrived and saw 2 sitting on the same sofa with the same lounge furniture we had when he was a child. His childhood home looked very similar to the one in which we live in now, but for 2a this was her first time of seeing us in our environment, seeing our tastes in furniture, experiencing our lifestyle and being with us in our comfort zone, our home.

Six years is a long time to know someone for and never to have had them visit. Would she have expectations based on the way my mum and dad lived? or the way we'd decorated the flat? which is minimal with few personal possessions.

Were Peter and I good cooks? (Peter is) would she like the food we ate, would she feel comfortable in the guest room? Would she be OK for 10 days? Or feel like she's stuck with us and just being polite?

As we've seen 2a in her environment, her home with 2 and her family home and  eaten out with her in the pub, we had an advantage over preparing for her stay.

Usually our visits last a couple of hours at a time or when we go out for the day it's been to the shops, a kind of neutral territory for us all.

But 24/7? Obviously they've been to the beach and wandered around the mall on their own, as they're doing right now, but the rest of the time when we're at home we're doing our own thing, watching the football (which she enjoys), helping us prepare for dinner and clearing up, chatting while 2 and hubby sit outside.

2a` has the confidence to say to us 'no thank you' or 'can I come to the dog park with you' she's decisive when asked what she'd like to do during the day or eat and drink. She'll happily sit around and is patient while I sort things in the home and offers to help. She's confident when we go to the souks and can handle herself with the sales pressure.

She's a joy to have in her lives, she's aware and carefree that I'm blogging about her and most importantly is great company to be with.

So I think in summary, she likes our home, she feels happy to be with us and hopefully now we can share a few more experiences when we chat about day to day life when we next visit the UK for shopping, meals out and visits to hers and 2's home.


24 comments:

  1. What a lovely post! It sounds like your daughter in law is perfectly happy in your company.

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  2. Sounds like a successful visit and you can now relax. She has seen you in your own place, doing your thing, and she fits in. Hurrah! #keepingitreal

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    1. it's funny i hadn't thought about it until she arrived

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  3. The visit sounds wonderful! I have 3 DILs. I have different relationships with each one, as 1 lives close by and 2 live far away, but I enjoy spending time with each one. Glad to hear you and your DIL got along so well.

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    1. that's lovely to hear, i'll have another DIL in september

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  4. It sounds like a successful trip for both 2 and 2a. How lovely that she settled in quickly and felt able to ask to join you on daily things. What a keeper!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week.

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  5. I think it's lovely when daughters-in-law get on well with their in-laws. I'm a daughter-in-law too and do my best to maintain a healthy relationship with my in laws x #KeepingItReal

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    1. I too am a daughter in law and actually still have a very good relationship with my ex MIL also

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  6. It sounds like her visit went really well, how lovely. It is always different when you meet someone in their own environment, it's so good she felt so comfortable x
    #keepingitreal

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  7. That is so lovely! I'm glad she fits in with your real life and you are enjoying her company.

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  8. How amazing that your visit went so well, I'm sure she was as nervous as you were! And it sounds like future visits will be a breeze! #GlobalBlogging

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    1. i do hope so, next visit is me to theirs in a few weeks

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  9. Hi Suzanne, having people stay is hard enough without having to worry about them, so I am glad 2a settled in. It's good that you enjoy her company as well, having a M-I-L I have given up trying forI know all too well how difficult it can be when you don't.

    Thank you for sharing at #keepingitreal.

    xx

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    1. both 2a and 4a to be are lovely women and their families are super nice and friendly also

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  10. Wow I can see how strange that must feel as you have known her for so long. Same for her too. Sounds like you all rubbed along nicely and that she may even come back! Result! You've now made me wonder what it's like to have partners brought home. Long way off I think but I'll make sure I put the hoover round!! Thanks for sharing with #tweensteensbeyond

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    1. lol i needn't have worried about the hoover in fact I did no house work while they were here at all and she mucked in with the washing

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  11. It sounds like she feels very comfortable so that's a great relief! I can't imagine what it will be like when our kids grow up and bring home prospective partners but I'm sure I will be nervous! My oldest is 16 and hasn't had a boyfriend yet, I'm curious to see who she'll bring home one day but I'm not encouraging her to hurry up :) #tweensteensbeyond

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  12. Oh I'm so glad to hear the trip went well. This post reminds me of a quote from the Narnia stories I used to read as a child - "See the bear in his own den before you judge his character." I think it's true that you learn a lot about someone by seeing their home, and also seeing how they behave in their own setting and comfort zone. But it sounds like it all went well and this is a great step in deepening your friendship even further #blogcrush

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    1. It was a lovely trip, she's only ever seen us in travel mode to date

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