I've got myself into a nice routine. I'm not getting much sleep, not eating very well, not enjoying much, not doing very when it comes to leaving the house, but the routine is helping. I wake around 2am and let Bailey out for a wee and I go back to bed. I wake again around 4am and tend to go back downstairs to read and generally fall back to sleep my alarm at 6.45am. I get up, feed Bailey and Pushkins, make tea, get dressed and take Bailey on a 45 minute walk, pack my lucnch and go straight out to work. Any interruption and I get stuck. By 11.30am I just want to come home. I finish at 12.40pm so I can just about manage the last hour. I don't find the job difficult, I just find being in one place too long hard
I feed Bailey at 4pm then take her out for a walk usually to the coffee shop or a longer walk trying to find a different route. We go out again after 10pm just before bed after watching I'm a Celeb.
It's been a hard weekend for us. Originally we turned down MILs car because it's a 2 door and whilst Stephanie could climb in unassisted I'd really struggled in the past trying to get her out. Child 2 and I had to half lift, half drag her out in Tesco car park a few years ago, she stuck her arms and legs out prone as she she didn't know what we were trying to get her to do. I'd also dropped off the 1st December gifts to the grandchildren and great nephew and great niece which include advent calendars and Christmas jumpers, some sweets and crafts. There wasn't a stop for Stephanie, it hit me harder than I imagined, especially as our route took us past her house.
330 Monday I think the shoe repair shop have lost my boots, it's been almost 2 weeks and they keep saying they're busy try in a few days. Peter and I walked Bailey into town for coffee, home for dinner and a night in front of the TV.
331 Tuesday I slept in so Peter walked Bailey. I went straight to Ledbury from work, I was early for therapy so stopped for a coffee. I did nothing all evening, apart from walk Bailey after I'm a Celeb.
332 Wednesday I visited a student in the afternoon, then home for a short while. Peter and I went to the retail park for a coffee with Bailey. I had the Dr's at 4.30pm for a medicine review. We left the car at the retail park. Peter walked on home with the dog and I walked backed to meet my friend for another coffee.
333 Thursday I stayed on at work for a full day as I had a meeting to review Room 19. Picked my boots up on the way home meeting Peter for a coffee at the retail park as he walked down with Bailey. Evening spent in front of the TV.
334 Friday Wellbeing day, no work. Dropped Peter off at his Mums in Bristol to pick up her car as she's given up driving at the age of 86. Called into see granddaughter then I spent the night with my friend and Peter came home with Bailey.
335 Saturday Cwmbran for the day to visit Great niece and drop off her advent calendar and Christmas gifts. I got home early evening.
December
336 Sunday Day spent in bed, really not feeling well, very tired and nauseas. Got up around 6pm had something to eat, watched TV and got a box of Christmas decorations and goodies ready for work and found the Elf on the Shelf.
Books read this week: 0
Words written towards book: 0
Clothes bought: 0
On the blog this week: My garden in November
Things that made me happy:
A well timed and thoughtful gift, time with granddaughter, cuddles with the cat and advent calendars.
You can prepare for the situations you know it will remind you of her, but those small things that you didn't imagine it will trigger memories of her are the hardest ones. Hugs xx
ReplyDeleteI love the pictures with the pets, they are so lovely.
Yes, the big events can be prepared for, it's the little things that sneak up on us that cause the biggest pain
DeleteIt sounds like you have a good routine, I am glad it is helping!
ReplyDeleteI am glad your boots turned up eventually.
I hope you are feeling better no after being unwell yesterday. x
the routine is really helping
DeleteRoutines are so important, especially when things are tough. That's a relief your boots weren't lost. Nice to have seen family as well.
ReplyDeleteI really thrive on a routine, it's not something my husband needs and he doesn't understand the importance of it to me
DeleteGlad the routine and getting out for walks with Bailey is helpful. So hard doing the Christmas drop-offs without that stop for Stephanie. Thinking of you all in the run-up to Christmas– it’s a tough time of year when you’re grieving x #project365
ReplyDeleteThank you Louise.
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