13th - 15th December 2024 Post Comment Love - Dealing with grief.

Welcome back to #PoCoLo with Stephanie from Bosworth.Life and I.

Post Comment Love #PoCoLo is a friendly weekly linky where you can link up any blog post you've written this week. If you're new or a regular visitor we're sure you'll find something of interest.

Thank you for joining us both this year with Post Comment Love. I know I've met some wonderful people this year through the posts they've linked up with and I enjoy reading posts on a wide range of topics from around the world.

We're taking a break now until January 10th 2025 and we'll send out a tweet reminder. Hope you all have a  very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year however and wherever you celebrate.

We've got family visiting this weekend for Christmas, child 2 and child 4 and their families. Bailey goes home on Monday. I'm not sure what I'll do with myself on Tuesday onwards, other than loads of washing and cleaning. Technically that's supposed to be Peter's role now he's retired and I'm the one back in work.

It's been a very difficult end to 2024. We've had some very happy times this year, but that has all been over shadowed by the death of our eldest child Stephanie, who died suddenly in October. It'll be a long time before we get our heads and our hearts around the fact that she is no longer with us. 

There are 5 stages of grief however, we don't feel that they reflect how we feel. There's been no support for us with a sudden death. After she died, we just left the hospital with a pile of paperwork and a phone call the following the day to explain the process to us. We searched for grief counselling, but have been informed that until 12 weeks have passed there is nothing available other than seeing the GP or calling Samaritans, as this is considered the normal time process, even when you try to pay for support they won't see you. Unless the death was through dementia, in a hospice, from cancer, or a child under 18, a violent crime or a road traffic accident. There is practical support, but nothing available emotionally.

Denial - a defence mechanism that helps people protect themselves from the shock. Where you refuse to acknowledge the death. We were with Stephanie when she died. We can't deny it.

Anger - There is no anger, there is no one to blame, nothing could've been predicted, nothing could've been done.

Bargaining - Hard to accept that nothing could be done to change things. We're fully aware of how she died (see Anger)

Depression - This is where we are at. Just so very sad.

Acceptance - which is described as the final stage of grief. We've accepted her death, we've accepted there was nothing we can do, we do not know how long the sadness will last, we will miss her in our lives for ever, we will always be sad.

We'd also appreciate your help spreading the #PoCoLo word on Twitter, tag us and we'll RT. You can find us on twitter here: Stephanie - @BosworthLife and Suzanne - @ChickenRuby 

I'll be catching up with reading your posts, sharing and commenting over the next few days. 

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