No I will not become this person; I don't want to be this person. There were never any plans for me to become a new person.
I liked my life, I liked me.
Two years (2010) ago my life was:
3 kids at home (2 had already left) the 3rd eldest child was planning on leaving home, in the September, to start a new life 120 miles away training in hotel management.
We had booked a 2 week holiday to Tunisia for the 5 of us and hubby and I were planning our annual trip for a week to Vegas. (we went in October)
Outside of my family I had a career, my studies, my love of Birmingham City .I was teaching NVQ level 2 & 3 to mature students wanting to train as Teaching Assistants. I developed the course contents, contributed to paper work design, planned and delivered sessions and assessed in the work place. I also worked as a Child Welfare Officer for the County FA and I was involved in the RESPECT campaign once a month at Wembley. I was also in my final year of a BSc Hons Criminological Studies and Psychology. I ran a local football team consisting of 12 clubs, did their fundraising and organised their presentation nights.
On September the 8th 2010 my life was put on hold as we were offered a move to South Africa with hubbies job, taking the 2 youngest children with us.
I finished up work, ensured all my students has completed their NVQ. Tied up all the multi agency cases, ensured all the paperwork was up to date, did a full handover after assisting with the interviewing for my replacement, organised the house to be decorated and rented out, notified all of change of address, waved good bye to family and friends and set off to....what?
Hold...that's what...my life has been put on hold and I don't know what to do with myself. We've moved twice since we've been here, applied to renew our visas, sorted out issues with school, screamed, shouted, cried, complained almost nonstop about not getting any help with utility bills, moving etc...but that's what I do, I organise, I fact find, I sort things out, it's what I'm good at, but in between? What do I do with myself?
I'm bored, I'm frustrated...I need a purpose, but what's stopping me?
I'm here on a visitor’s visa, there are laws, I don't fulfil the criteria, and apparently I can work cash in hand, so people say.
I try to get motivated, I'm involved in a few charities but it's not regular, it could be, but it's me who does the entertaining, the school holidays, is in charge with no back up when hubby is away and it's hard to get motivated when no one is there to motivate.
We arrived January 2011 since then we moved in Feb, son visited in March, April was school hols, June parents were out, July MIL and SIL visited, August youngest and I were back in the UK. I had Sept and Oct without disruption, Nov son out, Dec back to UK. then in 2012 Jan MIL visited, Feb was free, March friend visited, April school hols, May son visited, June I returned to the UK as my dad had a heart attack and we moved house and we renewed our visa application.
It's nearly the end of July and yet still I'm hanging around, waiting for other people to make decisions. I've been putting off my involvement with Santa Shoe Box, The Baby House, Teaching in a township because I'm worried I may have to return to the UK soon because of my dad, hubby has some European trips lined up, I'm on the shortlist for the London Olympics and at this late stage of the day it will be very short notice now.
It might seem that I've achieved a lot since September 2010, but you'd be wrong...I've done a lot since then, but don't think I've achieved anything on a personal level.
So now I need to make plans, plans for me, yes I'll still sort out all the family stuff, that's always been my role and I actually rather enjoy it all, but I need something for me in all of this, but I just don't know what or how yet...but from now on I’m not going to be at the beck and call of others.
Showing posts with label boring family meals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boring family meals. Show all posts
Saturday, 14 July 2012
Friday, 22 June 2012
Differences between the UK and SA
In the UK I have to remember to get out the car at the petrol station and put my own fuel in the car.
In South Africa they do it for me
In the UK I have to pack my own bags at the checkout.
In South Africa they do it for me.
In the UK I have to put money in the meter in a car park and put a sticker in my window.
In South Africa, I take a ticket from the machine, through the window, pay as I return to the car and when I leave the car park someone takes the ticket off me to put into the exit machine.
In the UK I have 3 kids, my family and friends.
In South Africa I have my hubby and 2 kids and the cat.
In the UK tomorrow there will be some sad faces.
In South Africa tomorrow there will be some happy faces.
In South Africa they do it for me
In the UK I have to pack my own bags at the checkout.
In South Africa they do it for me.
In the UK I have to put money in the meter in a car park and put a sticker in my window.
In South Africa, I take a ticket from the machine, through the window, pay as I return to the car and when I leave the car park someone takes the ticket off me to put into the exit machine.
In the UK I have 3 kids, my family and friends.
In South Africa I have my hubby and 2 kids and the cat.
In the UK tomorrow there will be some sad faces.
In South Africa tomorrow there will be some happy faces.
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
my groove is recovering nicely, thank you
Having linked up with @kateonthinice back in September http://kateonthinice.wordpress.com/2012/03/06/a-kick-up-the-bum-for-mums/ join in and link up, it's free and doesn't hurt.
I relished and looked forward to her weekly challenges for us to 'get our groove back' but the last few weeks have been hard for me and I've been blogging in general about depression. I've not been to the Doctors as I don't feel medication will help, just mask the problems I face. But some big changes in our family are afoot and although I am blogging about it all, you won't see it here for a while, in fact it may never appear in print for a long time if ever.
I do blog about my kids and hubby and they read what I write before posting it, in general they agree, sometimes hubby gets afronted, but that's usually before he's read the whole post to see how it's taken shape.
Anyway Kate's groovy mum challenges this week are as follows and remember they are all optional.
1. Body – how can you incorporate touch into your life this week? Massage or more? You decide but take time out to touch and be touched this week.
LAST WEEK I WENT FOR A MANICURE WHICH ALSO INVOLVED A HAND MASSAGE. I FELL ASLEEP ON THE SOFA SUNDAY NIGHT (PASSED OUT FROM GIN) AND WAS IN ABSOLUTE AGONY WITH AN OLD NECK INJURY BUT HUBBY HAS BEEN GIVEING ME REGULAR MASSAGES WHICH HAS HELPED.
2. Mind – your challenge this week is merely to link up a post about how you are attempting to change your life with steps whether like those of a baby or more solid ones. Any progress is to be celebrated so acknowledge how well you are doing by linking up a post.
TAKE YOUR PICK FROM ANY OVER ON http://www.chickenruby.com BUT I'VE DECIDED TO SPICE UP THE FAMILY MEALS THIS WEEK STARTING HERE http://www.chickenruby.com/2012/03/whats-for-tea.html
3. Spirit – Lent sometimes involves giving things up. What can you give up that would help you move forwards in life? This might mean delegating or accepting that some things or people no longer serve you positively. BREAD, I'VE GIVEN IT UP
4. Blogging – Did I mention that you are supposed to link up with Groovy Mums this week? There you go, two kicks up your rather lovely ass. If you are going to Britmums Live, you can also join in the blog hop mentioned in my previous post.
5. Special Days – Mother’s Day is around the corner so why not start planning just how you would like it to go. Your task is to communicate your ideal day to your nearest and dearest.
MOTHER'S DAY HAS TO WAIT TILL MAY 16TH HERE, ALTHOUGH I'VE SENT CARDS AND GIFTS FOR MY TWO MUMS BACK IN THE UK FOR MARCH
6. The Big Question – what needs to change? OK, maybe lots needs to change but identifying the big thing that needs to change might help you to prioritise what the first baby steps need to be.
CAN'T SAY AT THIS STAGE....BUT WATCH THIS SPACE
So there you go, I'm getting groovy again
I relished and looked forward to her weekly challenges for us to 'get our groove back' but the last few weeks have been hard for me and I've been blogging in general about depression. I've not been to the Doctors as I don't feel medication will help, just mask the problems I face. But some big changes in our family are afoot and although I am blogging about it all, you won't see it here for a while, in fact it may never appear in print for a long time if ever.
I do blog about my kids and hubby and they read what I write before posting it, in general they agree, sometimes hubby gets afronted, but that's usually before he's read the whole post to see how it's taken shape.
Anyway Kate's groovy mum challenges this week are as follows and remember they are all optional.
1. Body – how can you incorporate touch into your life this week? Massage or more? You decide but take time out to touch and be touched this week.
LAST WEEK I WENT FOR A MANICURE WHICH ALSO INVOLVED A HAND MASSAGE. I FELL ASLEEP ON THE SOFA SUNDAY NIGHT (PASSED OUT FROM GIN) AND WAS IN ABSOLUTE AGONY WITH AN OLD NECK INJURY BUT HUBBY HAS BEEN GIVEING ME REGULAR MASSAGES WHICH HAS HELPED.
2. Mind – your challenge this week is merely to link up a post about how you are attempting to change your life with steps whether like those of a baby or more solid ones. Any progress is to be celebrated so acknowledge how well you are doing by linking up a post.
TAKE YOUR PICK FROM ANY OVER ON http://www.chickenruby.com BUT I'VE DECIDED TO SPICE UP THE FAMILY MEALS THIS WEEK STARTING HERE http://www.chickenruby.com/2012/03/whats-for-tea.html
3. Spirit – Lent sometimes involves giving things up. What can you give up that would help you move forwards in life? This might mean delegating or accepting that some things or people no longer serve you positively. BREAD, I'VE GIVEN IT UP
4. Blogging – Did I mention that you are supposed to link up with Groovy Mums this week? There you go, two kicks up your rather lovely ass. If you are going to Britmums Live, you can also join in the blog hop mentioned in my previous post.
5. Special Days – Mother’s Day is around the corner so why not start planning just how you would like it to go. Your task is to communicate your ideal day to your nearest and dearest.
MOTHER'S DAY HAS TO WAIT TILL MAY 16TH HERE, ALTHOUGH I'VE SENT CARDS AND GIFTS FOR MY TWO MUMS BACK IN THE UK FOR MARCH
6. The Big Question – what needs to change? OK, maybe lots needs to change but identifying the big thing that needs to change might help you to prioritise what the first baby steps need to be.
CAN'T SAY AT THIS STAGE....BUT WATCH THIS SPACE
So there you go, I'm getting groovy again
What's for tea?
I asked earlier tonight for recipes as our family menu was getting a bit boring,http://www.chickenruby.com/2012/03/family-meals.html that's lasagne twice in 4days, so I thought I'd 'spice' things up a bit and asked twitter for suggestions and here's what they came up with.
@mulledred suggested stuffed peppers, but didn't suggest what to stuff them with and to go on the BBC website where you can input a main ingredient and it generates a recipe and sliced onions potatoes with juniper berries and bacon scattered over pork chops which have been sliced and garlic inserted, layer of potatoes, cover with stock and white wine, bake in oven. Any ideas where I insert the garlic?
@mincetroll suggested cheddar cheese risotto, spinach & feta filo pie and a fish tray bake. I'm hoping she'll also give me some dessert ideas.
I have a Balti chicken to make tomorrow and I'll blog the recipe, but first tonight's 'WTF are we going to have to eat? Lasagne.'
For all recipes involving mince I make a standard base.
I cook in a large pot, not a frying pan.
Tomato sauce base (or you can used 2 tins of tomatoes)
Boil water in a pan and drop in 1lb of large tomatoes, having hulled them first. As the skin starts to bubble, peel, chop and place in a bowl for later.
Use the water to make up 1/2 pint of beef or veg stock.
Lightly fry some garlic (to taste) add the meat and fry till browned, then add 2 finely chopped onions after a few minutes add the tomatoes, some puree, the stock and as much red wine as you can handle.
Place lid on pan and simmer until you're happy with the results.
This mince base can be used to make cottage pie (add chopped carrots and beans, put in dish, top with mash potato and cook in oven for 45 minutes)
or Spag bol (add chopped celery, mushrooms and cook for additional 10 mins and serve with either pasta or spagetti)
I tend to make enough base for all 3 dishes, and freeze the rest to eat later in the week.
To make into lasagne, prepare a white sauce. 250gs of butter, melted over a low heat, add plain flour (Gluten free works just as well) add in small amounts and mix to a paste, slowly add milk and stir.
Next put 1/3 of mince in a dish, pour over 1/3 of sauce, layer lasagne sheets (I don't pre soak) and repeat process, using only 2 layers of lasagne.
Put in oven and cook for 30-45 minutes, depending on your oven.
The above recipe has been adapted from various sources, bits handed on from friends and hubby but probably the main idea from Delia Smith.
*I don't add cheese to the lasagne, we eat it with salad and fresh bread.
You'll not find fish curry on this blog, but if it appeals to you or you have a slow cooker, pop over to @mediocre_mum
@mulledred suggested stuffed peppers, but didn't suggest what to stuff them with and to go on the BBC website where you can input a main ingredient and it generates a recipe and sliced onions potatoes with juniper berries and bacon scattered over pork chops which have been sliced and garlic inserted, layer of potatoes, cover with stock and white wine, bake in oven. Any ideas where I insert the garlic?
@mincetroll suggested cheddar cheese risotto, spinach & feta filo pie and a fish tray bake. I'm hoping she'll also give me some dessert ideas.
I have a Balti chicken to make tomorrow and I'll blog the recipe, but first tonight's 'WTF are we going to have to eat? Lasagne.'
For all recipes involving mince I make a standard base.
I cook in a large pot, not a frying pan.
Tomato sauce base (or you can used 2 tins of tomatoes)
Boil water in a pan and drop in 1lb of large tomatoes, having hulled them first. As the skin starts to bubble, peel, chop and place in a bowl for later.
Use the water to make up 1/2 pint of beef or veg stock.
Lightly fry some garlic (to taste) add the meat and fry till browned, then add 2 finely chopped onions after a few minutes add the tomatoes, some puree, the stock and as much red wine as you can handle.
Place lid on pan and simmer until you're happy with the results.
This mince base can be used to make cottage pie (add chopped carrots and beans, put in dish, top with mash potato and cook in oven for 45 minutes)
or Spag bol (add chopped celery, mushrooms and cook for additional 10 mins and serve with either pasta or spagetti)
I tend to make enough base for all 3 dishes, and freeze the rest to eat later in the week.
To make into lasagne, prepare a white sauce. 250gs of butter, melted over a low heat, add plain flour (Gluten free works just as well) add in small amounts and mix to a paste, slowly add milk and stir.
Next put 1/3 of mince in a dish, pour over 1/3 of sauce, layer lasagne sheets (I don't pre soak) and repeat process, using only 2 layers of lasagne.
Put in oven and cook for 30-45 minutes, depending on your oven.
The above recipe has been adapted from various sources, bits handed on from friends and hubby but probably the main idea from Delia Smith.
*I don't add cheese to the lasagne, we eat it with salad and fresh bread.
You'll not find fish curry on this blog, but if it appeals to you or you have a slow cooker, pop over to @mediocre_mum
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