What I do to relax.

We go out in the van on the weekends.

I love going for long walks on my own, just ambling, to and from work, different routes.

Getting my nails done, a gossip and a coffee.

Popping bubbles on my phone.

Reading.

Long bubble baths.

Lounging around in my pyjamas.

Making things.

Writing letters and short stories for the grandchildren.

Watching Quiz shows on TV.

What do you do to relax?
 

What I've been doing in my spare time

I seem to spend a lot of time sat in front of the TV or on my phone and often come home from work and not move off the sofa all evening. Other times I just feel I haven't stopped and I need a break, but the reality is I have a fairly well balanced week of work, rest and play. (Mars bar advert running through my head now) 

I decorated my chair pod for when I sit and read.

I swim twice a week before work, I walk home once a week (3 miles) and walk the dog almost every day covering 3-6 miles a week. I read daily and had my first crochet lesson last week. I garden, make crafts, sew and enjoy pottering around the garden, randomly weeding and pruning. Whilst Peter cooks most evenings I do enjoy baking and preparing meals also. I've also been making an effort to read more. We read 15 mins every day in school.

I had a crochet lesson, it didn't go well, but I enjoyed it and will persevere. 

Not everything goes to plan though, I forgot the seal on the blender so ended up with milk all over the floor.

Sometimes those 5 minute jobs take for ever. it took me a whole morning to cut out and line the shelves in the kitchen cupboards.

I've a couple of projects on the go involving the sewing machine and the over locker, which is an absolute joy (not) to thread. 

I'm supporting a lot of DT lessons in school and learning new skills in 2 lessons a week sewing and 2 lessons a week in metal work where we're making bottle openers, well I'm not, but I am doing a lot of sawing, filing and preparation work.

I'm working on everything side by side, so nothing is finished at the moment.

Are you working on multiple projects or do you concentrate on one project at a time?

Post Comment Love 15-17th May

I've certainly been keeping myself busy during lockdown. So far I've landscaped the garden and redecorated the house. I cook and walk the dog daily, although I'm keeping shopping trips to the bare minimum.

I do miss my husband, it's been over 7 weeks since we've seen one another. We are however used to spending long periods of time apart, but normally, if I'm in the UK, I'm usually running around visiting family and Peter will be working, meeting people and travelling himself. Peter is now back in the office in Dubai, however I'm almost isolated other than 2 friends who live in the same town, that I've seen briefly.

I have my down days, when it's difficult to get myself motivated, but mostly I'm entertaining myself, reading, jigsaw puzzles, letter writing and having a go at some crafts.

What have you been doing to keep yourself busy?


Stephanie and I would love to hear what you've been up to this week.

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What are your retirement plans?

Have you thought about your retirement? I don't mean the financial planning side or the thoughts one has about not having to go to work and having time for their hobbies. What I actually mean is what the hell are you going to do all day, every day in-between all the plans you have.

I retired in 2011 when we moved to South Africa, my visa prevented me from working. I worked full time as a volunteer. My youngest child left home for boarding school in the UK in 2013 and the last child left home in 2014. We moved to Dubai and I came out of retirement for a year to return to teaching.

Last year was spent travelling, then my father died. I sold my mums house and cleared out all my fathers belongings to allow her to downside and move. We moved house in Dubai.

This year has been spent travelling, UK, Belfast, Germany, Greece next week, Dubai, South Africa in September, Dubai and back to the UK until the end of October. December my mum will visit.

2019 I will be off to Australia, child 2 and 2a will visit in February, March UK, April-June Dubai, June till September UK and back to Dubai. There's still another 2 and a bit years to fill.

Lots of lovely travel plans. But the bits in-between are boring, I'm doing nothing other than drinking coffee, reading, housework and seeing my mum and friends in the days and weeks when I'm not travelling. The UK and Dubai trips aren't holidays, they're day to day life. Food shopping, cooking, cleaning, ironing. Peter will travel with work when I'm in Dubai, so it'll be the same as when I'm in the UK, I'll be on my own. I'm 47 now, I've a long time ahead of me to fill.

We plan to buy a camper home when we return to the UK full time, but when the work stops, so does the income and although we've invested for our home, day to day life and an annual holiday, we won't have the income to continue with this level of travel.

A day on the beach at Barry Island, we visited here from Dubai.

We'll buy a house that needs some work doing on it and in the garden. We may have a dog to walk, we'll go out for coffee, to the pub, the housework will still need doing, we may even have grandkids by then. Peter will play golf, I'll go swimming. But what will we do in the gaps? The time in-between?

Whilst I spend my time visiting the family and friends, some local to the flat in South wales, some over seas, in between I do very little other than food shop, cook, clean, sort out paperwork, (insurances, tax returns and pay bills for our UK flat, UK house we rent and our Dubai home). I have to dedicate a several weeks a year to our daughters care home paperwork. I watch TV, I go for walks, I blog, I read, I get bored.

When Peter retires I won't be on my own most of the year, we'll still travel, we'll still do all the other stuff above, but what will we do on a day to day basis?

It's ok to be bored

Finally my husband gets it 'I'm bored' but it doesn't mean I'm depressed or I need hundreds of suggestions of things to do to keep me occupied.

I have been applying for jobs and have been offered an interview, so this whole post could be irrelevant in May, but for now it's fairly accurate of how I combat the boredom.

I don't need to be kept busy. Despite there only being the 2 of us living in a 4 bed villa with our cat and dog, there is plenty to do. It's just boring doing the same thing over and over again.

I am actively seeking employment, but want to find the right job and I'm facing many dilemmas right now with it.

For example my average week is as follows:

Daily chores: Cook, wash up, mop kitchen floor, walk the dog.

Sunday - empty bins, tidy house, clean, put washing on
Monday - tackle one job, bathroom tiles, windows, oven, garage floor
Tuesday - take Bob to the desert, wash dogs beds, wash dog
Wednesday - ironing
Thursday - food shop

The weekends are slightly different as we rarely cook, or clean or food shop. We take Bob into the desert, we go out for breakfast, we wander around a mall, go to the cinema, for a walk, to the beach, watch movies at home, eat out or just have PJ days eating junk food. We just generally spend time together doing nothing, but together. Weekends aren't boring, I have company.

The gaps in-between in the week are spent blogging, writing letters, gardening, sewing dog beds, walking rescue dogs and going out for coffee as well as a bike ride, a walk along the beach or a visit to a mall or a tourist attraction just because I can.

At the moment with it being winter in Dubai, it's very windy and there are sand storms, so I'm kept extra busy sweeping and cleaning all the sand out the house on a daily basis, it's also been raining so muddy paw prints are the bane of my life.

I'm going out the house every day for a walk or a bike ride, a different route, visit a different coffee shop.

I keep my eye open for 'things to do in Dubai' free events, arts, music, literacy, wedding fayres, races. Places where I can meet people, learn something new, visit new places.

What I hear a lot of when I tell people I'm bored is 'but you live in Dubai' these same people have been to Dubai, I've taken them to all the tourist spots, malls, beaches, experiences. I don't want to be doing them on my own or over and over again. It's boring doing the same thing over and over again and Dubai is very expensive. I live here, I'm not on holiday.

I'm travelling to the UK soon, to visit family and friends, to wander around parks, take photo's of ancient buildings, go to garden centres for afternoon tea, wander round the individual shops, fight for car parking spaces, try new foods, walk in the rain, wear winter clothing, visit castles and churches, museums, do all the stuff that you find boring, expensive, repetitive and moan about daily as being 'boring' and 'there's nothing to do round here'

It's the same for me, life in Dubai is boring, it's normal, it's routine. It's actually OK to be bored. All I have to address now is the loneliness and I'll have cracked living here.

Do you find it's boring where you live?

Just hanging around

I'm not very articulate, I talk a lot but I get distracted and end up off track and find it really difficult to explain how I'm feeling.

I hate being interupted with a subject change, which is what my family do as they think that is the best way to help me. In fact most people's response to anyone struggling with something they don't understand is to try and take their mind of it by changing the subject, looking at the positives and thinking they are helping the person to move on.

Yes, I can apply for a job now after 4 years living in South Africa, but apart from one of our kids and a nephew, no one else in our family has had to look for a job in over a year. I don't mean no one is working, but for example my hubby has been employed by his company for 30 years.

I'm not really qualified as anything. My expertise comes through years of experience, volunteering and networking to build up to my dream job, a job where I felt valued and it was two way. I had a salary. I did things for other people.

The past 4 years has been about me doing things for other people and as much as I enjoyed it and met some lovely people who have become very good friends, I didn't feel fulfilled.

It is important for me not to be pigeoned holed. I've done the single mum bit, married, more kids, divorced, married, step kids, worked part time in the chip shop, studied for a degree, been a SAHM, but on reflection I had a choice. I had to work, I could chose where I worked and what I did. Fed up of working in care homes on night shifts and evenings in a chip shop to make ends meet, I decided to study, to raise the stakes and I failed (at first) then a few years later I picked it all up again after working as a dinner lady in a local school, I became a teaching assistant, then was asked to work in the special needs department. I'd been a part time youth worker aged 21-32, so I had lots of experience with kids and alcohol, drugs, violent homes, criminal records, homelessness. I had gained a wealth of knowledge that I could put to use. After working in an autistic school, I did my teaching training, I got a job in child welfare and was lecturing in special needs and training classroom assistants.

Finally I felt like I had achieved something. I was still a mum and someones wife, daughter, sister, but I also had other words I could add to my identity. Regardless of where I was of who I was with, my identity was and is always 'Married with 5 kids' but I no longer can add anything else to that description other than 'none of them live at home anymore'

It's a conversation killer, let me tell you. When I add the youngest is in boarding school and that I don't work, it's a conversation killer. People tell me how lucky I am. I'm not lucky. My hubby works hard and pays for all of this. Yes I don't financially need to work, but I do need something for me.

I'd give it all up to go back to having the kids back at home, a career, a foreign holiday once a year. But you see the more you want from life, the more you want to travel, explore, earn, the more sacrifices you have to make.

In order for hubby to have his career, earn the money, provide us with the opportunities, the more I've had to give up on a personal nature. Of course I benefit, in fact a big part of me loves it, but while he's working hard, I'm spending too much time on my own. I don't want a job, I'd like a career. I'd like to feel personally fulfilled, but it's all too much effort. I don't have time to spend another 6 years building up my career, we'll probably only be in Dubai for 2-3 years, before the next move and then I'd have to start all over again.

It depresses me, I feel stuck in a loop, who knows what will happen next, where we'll go, will I even be able to work in the next country? Will I actually want to career again? At the mount I'm fortunate to be able to drop everything to travel with hubby, afford my own own travel and adventures, be the one to welcome and entertain visitors, spend quality time with family when they visit or I visit them.

I have the chance to start something new, write a book, enjoy my hobbies, rest, read, study. All the things hubby would love to have more time for but he's too busy with his work, his travel, his career.

We have a good life, it is our life and we've worked hard to get where we are, both of us, him earning the money and me raising the family. But the family no longer need raising, neither of us are ready to move back to the UK, hubby only has 7 years left before retirement. I don't want to to be in a full time career when he reaches that stage, we want to be able to spend time together, more travel, more exploring without work holding us back.

I'm just struggling with the in-between time and I honestly just don't know what the solution is, do you?

The benefits of being an expat

So you all know I'm depressed



You all know I'm not a big fan of other expats



In fact if you've ever been THAT bored and read my entire blog as I know a few have, there's not much left to say about me really.




I've decided to take a positive approach to living as an expat in South Africa and give you my favourite things to do. Things I couldn't do prior to be an expat.



Combating the heat
Spend the day in my swim costume so inbetween cleaning, cooking etc I can just walk outside, jump in the pool and instantly cool down.




Lie ins
After hubby leaves for work at 7am, taking the children with him to school. I go back to bed with a mug of tea and catch up with all my programmes. I never did this in the UK, with 5 kids I was either tidying up after them all or dashing out the door to work. I can't work here.



Hobbies
I can't work so I have too much free time. I am now the owner of all things to make all things and I am doing so.



Keeping the house tidy
Well there's no maid here, but the house is huge and with many rooms, so I can start a hobby and walk off and leave it, not having to clear the table so we can all eat dinner.




Taxi service
Fingers crossed but as from February I will no longer be running 'mums taxi' as eldest is taking his test. The benefit of living in SOuth Africa is that anyone in the house can drive the car on the insurance with NO extra cost involved, something that was too expensive to do for the older two kids in the UK.