Art on Main ... Jo'burg on foot

I don't do exploring very well, I like to know where I'm off and what I can expect to find.

but this morning I got into the car to be taken to a surprise venue.

We headed south on the N1 towards jo'burg. Then into jo'burg, through Hilbrow and I started to panic.....i really didn't want to be there, past Ellis Park, which doesn't feel as safe as when I was there last year to watch the football as the security was obvious. Down a few side streets, and parked on the side of the road to discover Art on Main.

Lots of little cafes, bars and street vendors, a fashion show and salsa dancing on the rooftops.

Very friendly people, mind you the rasta who stopped us for a chat was from Hampshire.

So we had a little walk, took some photos, ate a fab breakfast, bumped into a couple we knew and shared a coffee.

But that was it

Flying air france and the airbus 380

No smoking room at Heathrow Terminal 4...I have needs and they would've been met if I needed a prayer room or Muslim toilets.

Anyway we board, no overhead space for the hand luggage, one child with broken arm, very excited to be flying also very upset having said bye to his brother and dad.

Find overhead space for luggage, stroppy cow trying to push past to her seat, they're allocated FFS, back off...walk to seat 3 rows away, air steward or security and safety as written on her badge, calls me back and asks me to move luggage, er why? because these people in these seats need space, I challenge her to find me luggage space near me, bloke in front is muttering to no one in particular about me daring to answer back and says I should have my luggage under my feet.

ha my hand luggage won't fit under the seat in front of me and the air steward asks who's bag this is, the man in front identifies it, she puts it under his seat, orders me to place my luggage in the locker over head and he moans for the next hour about having no leg room.

Arrive in Paris, we are greeted by staff who gather us together and run to the terminal to get our flight...the man is still moaning to anyone that will listen to him about anything and everything..the flight is called, in no particular order, they are only loading passengers on the lower deck, so by now everyone has reached the front and told to stand to one side, the man is moaning now as it means he's lost his place in the queue, again the seats are allocated.

So everyone is seated downstairs and there's about 50 of us left hanging around, the man is still moaning, an announcement is made, there has been a problem with the cleaning cart and the lift door, so we're asked to take a seat while they sort the problem out.

I spend the next 2 hours in the smoking pods with the Harley Davison guys and the man moans for 2 hours. I pity the people already seated.

We board, I have a spare seat next to me, we're served a delicious tea of Thai Green Curry, salad, cakes and wine and I settle down for 6 solid hours sleep till some idiots alarm goes off on their watch.