Welcome back to #PoCoLo with Stephanie from Bosworth.Life and I.
Post Comment Love #PoCoLo is a friendly weekly linky where you can link up any blog post you've written this week. If you're new or a regular visitor we're sure you'll find something of interest.
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I'll be catching up with reading your posts, sharing and commenting over the next few days.
Sorry I'm late with posting this week. It's been a difficult week for us, marking the 2nd year since Stephanie died on Wednesday. It was also Peter's birthday on Tuesday and it's really hard knowing how to proceed.
We went into Worcester after work on Tuesday for coffee and some shopping and had bought dinner to cook at home. We'd done the same the day before Stephanie died. The following day the bin lorry came and I went to work in a school, same as the year she died, but instead of leaving work at lunch time, collecting Peter and driving to the hospital in Gloucestershire, this year we went to the Cotswold Designer Village for a walk round and to have dinner out. Last year I'd taken the day off work and we'd driven to the Forest of the Dean to lay flowers where we'd planned to scatter her ashes, which we'd been denied.
We're at peace now, we've been accepting she died, but we're still stunned by the fact she died so suddenly.
I'm sharing this because it is World Mental Health Day and the best thing I've done to help me with my grief has been to keep on talking. Talking about Stephanie, talking about how I'm feeling, talking about what I'm missing and talking about how my future has changed without Stephanie and finding a new road to travel on.
This journey hasn't just been about me. It's been about our family, but I'm not here to tell their story, only my part of the story. Peter often says to me that there is a 'we' and an 'us' and that is a part we often share with family and with our friends, together and separately, but when I blog I tell only my side.
Everyone's starting point is different, everyone copes and deals with things in different ways and that is fine. I'm not just sharing my story here, I talk with friends, I listen and support with their grief, sometimes we're at the same point and it's just silence, sometimes one of us at peace and the other is angry and looking for answers. There are no answers, there is no cure, there is no point in time when suddenly it all becomes clear and better. It just all becomes different and you learn different ways to cope or to manage other peoples awkwardness or you accept people just don't know what to say and one of you walks away.
Or you just stop reading and scroll on past and that's ok too.
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