Talk to your teen about alcohol with South Africa Breweries

I was invited by South Africa Breweries to take part in their 18+ campaign to educate children and teenagers about the dangers of drinking. I was given a gift voucher to exchange for an experience with my teen to use the time to discuss the subject of alcohol with him.

It was a 2 hour drive each way from Pretoria. The teen has had a busy visit to South Africa for his school holidays. After a 12 hour flight from the UK I bundled him on the Shosholoza Myel Train to Cape Town which took 28 hours. We had an amazing trip there and flew back 4 days later. We then visited St Lucia for a week, up near the Mozambique border, which was a 7 hour drive each way. The rest of the holiday the teen has spent in bed until after midday and has refused all efforts to come out with us proclaiming that he is on holiday and he just wants to watch TV and chill out, which is fair.

So after discussions and negotiations we opted as a family to go on a Segway tour of the lake and golf course at Sun City.

It’s a 2 hour drive to Sun City and as with all our trips there has been plenty of time for discussions about school, life in general and possible future moves. As expats we trust our sons boarding school to not only educate him but also to nurture, support and provide him with social activities and some sort of family life.

The teen knew the purpose of the trip with SAB and we opted to talk with him about peer pressure, unsupervised visits into town on weekends, whether alcohol was an issue in his school and who he could and would talk to if he had any worries about life in general.

You can read more here about the campaign, how to empower your child to say NO to underage drinking, how to start the conversation, alcohol responsibility at social gatherings, signs your child is drinking and do you agree that teens should wait till they are 18 before drinking? 

As parents we are satisfied there are no concerns about alcohol at his school and we are very fortunate that the school is open and honest with us. There was an issue with drugs in the 6^th form and it was dealt with quickly and efficiently and parents were informed about what steps would be taken and resulted in expulsion for those concerned, so we have no worries about the school not informing us if there were issues round students drinking.

Unfortunately on arrival at Sun City we were greeted by a man handing out leaflets for a free beer and our son was given one, but he gave it straight to us and said he found it rather funny that someone did that and then was pleased as he thought it made him look 18, my husband showed him that the leaflet could be exchanged for soft drinks also, but we didn’t take up the offer.

After a short introduction to riding a Segway, hubby and son had previously been on one, we set off around the lake and golf course at a slow and steady speed. My son and I had bets on as to how long it would be before hubby fell off, but it was me who took a tumble and I also spent 5 minutes waiting to be rescued after failing to move in any direction, staring at a tree.

The tour only lasted an hour, but we had lunch and coffees, a walk round the grounds and a trip in the elevator to see the views. We didn’t get to take many photos at it wasn’t easy to balance, travel at speed and focus a camera.

We would do it again, maybe find somewhere a bit closer to home.

Signs your child is drinking and how to empower them to say NO.

Peer pressure is one of the biggest reasons kids drink. Adverts in the media show young adults, drinking alcohol and having fun, being grown up. TV adverts glamourize alcohol and the message of ‘enjoy responsibly’ is rarely taken in as a warning, more of a slogan.

There are many reasons as to why under 18s drink alcohol, they mimic behavior of others around them, their friends and family members, they may complain of being bored, stressed, unhappy, lack confidence, want to rebel or are angry. There could be death in the family, a change of school, not doing as well in their subjects as they wanted.

Many teenagers go though these stages and not all take to drinking alcohol, some may take drugs also, self harm or become reclusive, some have eating problems. But not all teenagers resort to the above, some will choose to talk to a parent, a teacher, a family member or a friend. From an early age we teach our children about the rights and wrongs, we teach them to say pleases and thank yous to say no to strangers if offered sweets or a lift. We can empower our children from an early age to say NO to anything they don’t want to do, teach them to walk away, ask them will these so called friends be there to help them in a difficult situation? Teach them the concesquences of their behavior, their actions, even the future implications on their working and family lives and future relationships. A lot of what you say may appear to go in one ear and out the other, but they tak in a lot more than you realize.

A lot of teenage angst is that, just angst, but you should talk with your teenager, support and guide them whatever the issues are and look for an alternative way to channel their issues.

Easier said than done most of the time and as a Mother to 4 boys aged 15-25 it is difficult to know when to intervene, are their mood swings due to hormones? Are they getting in trouble at school, struggling with concentration, mood swings etc? Is there a problem that you can help resolve? Visit their teacher at school to find out what is going on there? Ask a family member or a friend that you know they get on well with to intervene and have a chat? Or do you let them know you are there and give them space to works things out for themselves?

Grounding my children and banning them from activities never worked, neither did taking items away from them. It didn’t encourage them to talk to me about their problems it caused them to shut down. I don’t advocate treating your child as an adult or an equal, but I do advocate treating them as an individual and treating them with respect, letting them know you are there, letting them know there will be no consequences if they confide in you, unless of course they have broken the law.

I also told my children as teens and still do tell them now that I’m not here to tell them off, have a go, interfere, just that I am here to help and the sooner they ask for help from me or someone else, then the sooner they can resolve their issues and move on. It’s been hard work, it’s been challenging, but I am their mum and I certainly didn’t opt to have kids for an easy life.

Every child is different, every parent handles situations differently. With my 4 boys, what worked with one, didn’t with another, it’s just about finding a middle ground.

Visit South Africa Breweries for warning signs to look out for that your child is drinking alcohol here. 

There are also some good tips on how to empower your child to say no to alcohol which you can read here.

Teenagers and Alcohol......The Talk with SA Breweries

I don't get to spend a lot of time with my 15yo son since he moved back to the UK in August last year for boarding school. The youngest of 4 boys, he's heard and seen and contributed to every strop, tantrum, pushing the boundaries and general stuff associated with teenagers.

I'm not naive, but to date I've only seen the eldest child drunk while underage and I know the 3 older boys drink with their mates and have been binge drinking, I can't control their behaviour now they are adults, but I hope that I've raised them sensibly to know their limits and to ask for help as and when the time arrives.

I will confess that I do drink more since we moved to South Africa and that is due to the price, which is much cheaper than the UK and that has influenced my drinking habits.

The 15yo is on school holidays, visiting us for 5 weeks. We are off to Cape Town tomorrow on the train and fly back on Wednesday. We will be eating out everyday and unless we have fast food, every restaurant serves alcohol and I will have a glass of wine with a meal, as I'm on holiday also, but I am in charge of a 15yo and hubby won't be there to rely on, so a glass of wine will be my limit.

I pledged to support South Africa Breweries aged 18+ campaign, you can read the 1st blog post here.

My 15yo is without any parental control or input while he stays in the UK, there has been an incident of drugs at his school and the pupils were excluded, he has unsupervised access to town on weekends and it's made me realise he can access alcohol if he wants to.

So while I have a captive audience, 27 hours on a train, I will talk to/with him about alcohol and the dangers of drinking underage.

If you want to have the talk with your teenager and don't go saying 'my child NEVER touches alcohol, none of his friends drink' because that just isn't true.

Check out SA Breweries 'How to start the conversation' with your teen and pre teen or tween. Let me know how you get on, did they admit to drinking? did they try to avoid the conversation? or was it a successful talk?

No one under 18 should be drinking alcohol and it is up to us to stop our denial about the situation and do something about it.

• 1 in 2 teenagers in the average South African home is a user of alcohol.
• Yet the vast majority of parents think their teenagers don’t drink
• Around 15% of boys and 8% of girls said that they’d had their first drink before age 13
• People who begin drinking before the age of 15 are four times more likely to become alcohol dependent than those who have their first drink at age 20 or older
• Teens that use alcohol are three times more likely to be involved in violent crime
• 67% of teens who drink before the age of 15 will go on to use illegal drugs

Say NO to underage drinking

After a recent trip to a rural community near Kruger National Park, where there was no access to clean water, yet one passes many shabeens selling Castle Beer on the 2 km walk to fetch clean drinking water.

I approached South Africa Breweries and asked them what their social responsibility was in regards to supporting the community. They replied and invited me to take part in their 18+ drink aware campaign which is launched on August 1^st. Make a pledge and add a twibbon to your profile on face book and twitter to show your support. I also invite you to blog about your personal experiences with alcohol, effects on the family and how you’ve approached the discussions with your children and tweet and/or face book to show your support.

Over the next few blog posts I will be blogging about personal experiences of alcohol. I am a Mother to 4 boys aged 15-25, I also worked for 14 years as a Youth Worker in the UK dealing with teenagers and alcohol and I’m currently living in South Africa working in several townships where I see and hear about the effects of alcohol and the damage it causes the local communities. I was also a teenager, I drank underage and I enjoy alcohol now as an adult.

This series of posts isn’t an attempt to stop people from drinking it’s to encourage them to drink safely and to educate their children about the dangers of drinking under age.

I shall leave you with my experiences of my teenagers and alcohol and let me know if you think I handled this correctly or whether you would’ve done anything differently?

My kids and alcohol 

SA Breweies say:

No one under 18 should be drinking alcohol and it is up to us to stop our denial about the situation and do something about it.

· 1 in 2 teenagers in the average South African home is a user of alcohol.

· Yet the vast majority of parents think their teenagers don’t drink

· Around 15% of boys and 8% of girls said that they’d had their first drink before age 13

· People who begin drinking before the age of 15 are four times more likely to become alcohol dependent than those who have their first drink at age 20 or older

· Teens that use alcohol are three times more likely to be involved in violent crime

· 67% of teens who drink before the age of 15 will go on to use illegal drugs