Word of the Week - Football

Football is something we enjoy as a family. Well Peter, myself and child 3 & 4. Our two oldest grandchildren are showing an interest also.

My father was a goalkeeper and played in the late 50's/ early 60's for Barry Town.

Child 3 & 4 played football from the ages of 4/5 and child 3 took up refereeing. 

I used to work for the Football Association also.

I'm a Birmingham City fan. I started supporting them in 2006 when child 4 trained in the academy. Child 3 switched allegiance and started to follow them also. He was a season ticket holder. We went to all the home matches up till the end of 2010 when we left the UK. Birmingham bounced between the Premiership and the Championship. We used to travel a lot to Wembley for England games and attended a couple of cup finals.

When we left the UK we were able to watch all the Championship games on the TV in South Africa and when we were home there was the odd game we'd go to.

Since moving back to the UK in 2021, football wasn't a priority. I was back in work, our weekends were spent with Stephanie and the grandchildren that had now entered our lives. But I missed the football and was itching to get back up to the ground to cheer the blues on.

Nothing was stopping me so off I went, now in the First division and looking likely they would get promoted, getting a ticket was getting hard. With a stadium capacity 29,409, the matches were selling out fast. Even in the Premiership it wasn't that hard to get a ticket.

I am wearing an official BCFC item of clothing, it's just from a few seasons ago. 

The season is over now, I've joined a queue for a season ticket for 25/26. The atmosphere in the ground has been outstanding, being part of something bigger than you as a spectator is amazing.

Sadly there was a pitch invasion and things took an ugly turn at the last home game of the season when Birmingham won 4-0, won the league and were promoted to the Championship. But a handful of idiots won't spoil my enjoyment of the game and they'll be banned from the ground now.

39 years and 7 months

that's how long it took me to achieve everything I wanted in life.

I plodded along from the age of 21 till I was 28, unhappy with my lot, dead end jobs, no degree.

After leaving school and college I spent 3 strange years working for SCOPE in a residential unit. I was 18 when I got there and my salary paid for trips to London to vist friends, drinks in the pub, new/nice/designer clothes, TV and stereo equipment. No plans for the furture, just getting by enjoying being a teen, the lask of a boyfriend was an issue as all my mates had one and it did make social occassions a bit awkward. But then it all happened and I got pregnant, gave birth at 21, moved home as a single mum and then the struggle began.

I always worked, I started studying, City and Guilds, NVQs, even started my teaching degree. I worked maily in care and even in a chip shop to make ends meet. I married had 2 more children and lfie just seemed not to be going anywhere for me. The jobs I did, I did well and I knew I could do better. I got involved in Youth work, I volunteered with Venture Scouts, I worked unsociable hours to fit around my family life, I drove a beaten up car, lived hand to mouth, but I wanted more, I always did and I still do.

There is nothing wrong with wanting more and working hard for it, I just need a kick up the arse.

I met my husband and inherited his 2 kids and a messy divorce and my life got put on hold for 3 years, we then married and moved away, not far, and we started afresh with the 5 children, it was hard work, but quality of life improved and while hubby travelled with work, building his career and salary, I started my studies, joined the PTA, got involved with the local football club, net worked and made friends. I worked as a nanny for two years, I supported children in school with autism, I worked in a local secondary school and I studied on top of that, until finally I got a job as a lecturer at the local college, teaching life skills, managing finances, customer service, training adults to work as teaching assistants and finally securing my first step on the career ladder working for the local FA as a child welfare officer.

I continued to study for the next two years, we now only had 3 children at home, I networked, I took over with the running of the football club. I got to work away and stay in hotels on occassions, finally craving some me time.

For the first time in 39 years and 7 months, I was happy for me. I've always been content with my family life and the kids, little darlings that they are and yes we've had many and our fair share of ups and downs, but it took me along time to gain something for me.

January last year, it all stopped, abruptly, overnight when we moved here. This time however I don't know what to do to get it all back. I can't work due to government restrictions, I don't have the freedom for wandering around and joining in things, especially as most expat group members work so all events are evenings and that means driving in the dark, which living here is not the wisest of ideas.The 2 remaining kids are 13 and 17 so hardly going to the park or bumping into other people with kids which is always a good way of making new friends.

So I need to find a way of reinventing myself, of discovering who/what I really am when I'm away for the social norms that I grew up with.

You go to school...yep done that, you obtain higher qualifications...yep done that also...you marry, have kids, get some me time, spend time with your partner as the kids get older, have holidays togther, prepare slowly and wind down for retirement.

But does anyone have any ideas as to what I can fill my time with between now and retirement age please? for the next 19 years and 5 months.

Losing my Groove

I've never been invited to take part in a meme, and quite frankly I don't know what it means. I've had two tweeters 'guest post' for me one about dealing with their teen and my son describing his hospital experience after his lung collapased when he was hit in the throat by a cricket ball. I wasn't even invited to join this but came across @netcurtains blog and realised I need to get my groove back and here are the reasons why.

This time last year, I was a Mother of 5, only 3 were living at home, 1 in Germany in the army, but all leave spent with us and endless crisis and the eldest who is profoundly disabled, living in care nearby. Home most weekends and visits in the week.

I had 3 part time jobs, I lecturered and assessed mature students on NVQ level 2 & 3 Teaching Assistants I also lectured adults with learning difficulties in Customer Service and Job Path. My other role was for the local FA (football association) as a Child Welfare Officer and involved working closely with Social Services, the police and families, often at short notice and mainly evenings and weekends and quite harrowing on occassions.

I was also studying for a degree in Criminology with The OU and have 1 year left to complete.

A busy life for a busy person.

1 year on, I moved to South Africa, I only have 2 children here with me and the others have been out for visits, communicating via face book and still needing my help. The eldest, unfortunatly, doesn't respond with telephone calls or even understand what I write in my letters, but I continue with the contact.

My husband is in the same job, just a different country and continues to travel with his work.

So how did I lose my groove?

Only got 2 kids here, they are 12 and 16 and really don't require alot of input, other than taxi services. I can't work, I'm a 'visitor' for 2 years and due to problems with the internet when we first arrived I'm afraid the studies had to stop.

Everything about me, that made me, me has changed or is no longer available to me. I have no friends, I don't know anyone. OK there is small talk and occassional coffees but no 'mates' like I had in the UK.

I have a gardener and I like gardening so I've been growing flowers, herbs and veg. My cooking and baking has increased 10 fold, I make every meal from scratch, sorcing locally grown products, the freezer is always full. I do all my own cleaning, I need something to do, but the locals think I'm strange for not hiring a maid.

I read, chick lit, I go off exploring, as much as safety and security will allow. I review my course work for my degree to date. I make my own bird feeders, using Peanut butter and seeds. I study the animal books and the birds. I've started a jigsaw. I got out all the games like cards, ludo, twister and placed them around the house so we use them. And I sit in the garden watching the wildlife, drinking tea or wine in the evenings.

I'm starting to like it, enjoy myself and be happy with my own company, but it's not me for ever and to 'get my groove back' I've made enquiries with UNISA, to complete my degree. I have an appointment with the visa agency on Tuesday to change my visa status so I can apply for work.

In the meantime, I shall enjoy my 'groove' with a glass of wine, sitting on the balcony watching the sunset and the black swans swimmming on the river.

Two questions were posed as part of the 'link up'

Song to get my groove back would have to be 'I got a feeling' by the Black Eyed peas

I'm hoping I can get my tooth abcess soon and the medication kicks in.

What's a CRB?

Well yes actually I know what a CRB is. I used to work for the local FA as a Welfare Officer, tasked with reaching 100's of 1'000s of people volunteering in Youth football without any police or club checks. 90% were parents giving up their spare time to support their son/daughter's club from coaching to making teas to sitting on the committee. Not all roles require a CRB for example running the line at a match...you're not left unsupervised and the ref has a CRB (assuming he's over 18) and the two team coaches have CRB's and maybe one or two other parents if they help out...anyway it's a complicated process, helped by volunteer Welfare Officers, one for each club, who provide a list of names of all coaches and adults involved in footall within their club and their CRB status is checked online...

So what happens here in South Africa?...

Well I can't find a link on the school web page or SAFA website, there are Mission Statements and Codes of Conduct, but nothing clearly labelled as 'Child Protection/Welfare'

I was able to host two children over night from a visiting school without so much as filling in a form, mind you the school knew I must've cleared a police check to get my visa in the first place.

I was reading a magazine www.people.co.za in the hairdressers when I came across the 'Find a Pen Friend' page....

I was shocked, I was alarmed, seriously..there was a 12 year old boy wanting a penfriend, he listed his interests, name and email address and the other was a 16 year old girl who left her mobile phone number as a contact...

Can you imagine the uproar in the UK, how the media would react to this or do you think possibly that the UK are overdoing it a bit? after all even with all these people out there and CRB's and Police Checks and Multi agency working, there are still horror stories everyday of paedophiles who slipped the net.