How often to you speak with your kids?

My kids all live in the UK. The eldest is disabled and doesn't speak, nor does she pay much attention to a computer screen or even recognise us.
The next one doesn't really 'do' internet and despite having an email address, a Facebook account and a mobile phone, he never uses them, so sending messages or ringing him, it could be months before he picks them up.
The middle child does respond to text and Facebook messages, but rarely makes contact with us outside of Christmas, Birthdays and Mother/Father's day.
The 2nd youngest is on twitter, Facebook, instagram and we chat daily, comment on each others pictures and updates and Skype often.
The youngest is in boarding school, Facebook etc is filtered through the school's wifi and 3G is almost none exsistant as the walls of the school are very thick and the location is remote, although I can see he's seen the whats app pictures and comments I send him, although he rarely replies. I do phone him on his mobile once a week but he only replies if he happens to be somewhere where there is reception and the call is usually cut off.

I send postcards but the boys always say 'don't bother Mum' or 'I'd rather you didn't as it gets read by everyone first'. I send letters with small gifts or money, but I rarely hear if they've received it.

I did get a post card from the middle child a few weeks ago, but only because he girl friend made him.

The thing is, it doesn't bother or upset me, the kids don't mind either, or so they say. I visit the UK twice a year, they come here once or twice a year and they have family in the UK, cousins, aunts, uncles etc that they spend most of their time with and the 2 eldest boys are in serious relationships so MUM is way down the pecking order anyway.

Who you talking to?

Hubby constantly asks 'who are you talking to?' 

'Some bloke in *checks profile for location*'

'Whats his name? No, his proper name?'

I don't know who he is or where he is. I don't know an awful lot about any of you.

I remember a few things, like the name of your child or what you do for a living, or you're an expat or suffer with depression.

I can probably describe your tattoo or name your dog and I know what you had for dinner, but I don't know you.

You all have real names, I don't know them. You all have a face, but I'd never match your twitter avatar to the real you, some of you I still don't know what sex you are. But it doesn't matter to me.

Most of you reading this will understand me, but a fair few who don't 'do' twitter like my hubby, just don't understand how I can open up to strangers like this, argue, debate, cry together, feel better after a 'little' virtual chat.

I can't explain it either, I don't want to understand it, I just enjoy it.

My permission has been revoked

My son is 14 on Sunday. Every Friday night we have Pizza night with our friends, taking it in turns at one anothers houses.
Last night was our turn and we decided to turn it into a bit of a party and do the Birthday cake.
I love baking and yesterday morning I got out all the ingredients and asked my son what cake he wanted. As quick as a flash he replied 'Shop bought'. It made me realise that my days as a mummy are coming to an end. He is the youngest of 5 children.

The youngest has always had an issue with his photos being taken, in fact he hates it, it ranks a close second to getting his hair cut. As I tried to take a picture of him blowing out the candles, he hid his face, it winds me up and he knows it. He is missing from pictures in nearly all family events and if he is in the picture, his face is hidden.

Being expats and away from family, I make a huge effort to update the picture album, send prints back to people and post online, usually on facebook. I run my faceebook for the family only, I rarely post comments like the ones you see on twitter @chickenruby and I have recently started linking blog posts that I think people might like to read.

But I've been told 'no more mum, no more pictures, no more blogging about me'
I have to respect his wishes, he is old enough now to have a say in his private life. I've never ridiculed my kids, but I have shared personal stories about the things they've done, the troubles we've had and how we've problem solved. I've always sought permission from family members and the older children (the ones that have left home) prior to posting, but I've never had to ask to share pictures of them on facebook or twitter.

I don't own my children, but what they do effects me, my life, causes me issues, phone calls asking for help and guidance. Moments as a Mother I want to share, things I'm proud of, achievements I want to 'show off'

So I'll leave you with the last photo of my almost 14 year old and I'll attempt to take his picture to send back to his grandparents in the UK.

Is it always really a twitter glitch?

I'll admit it, I've unfollowed people and when they've questionned it, I've blamed it on the 'glitch' and refollowed.....but why?

In the real world I'll avoid someone that I don't like, or I'll just cut the contact off gradually.

After moving to South Africa it was a great way to get rid of dead wood, in real life, by text and facebook, but not on twitter. I've blocked people in the past when they've been abusive towards me.

I was unfollowed recently by a woman who was upset she had been following me for 6 months and I hadn't followed her back and she made quite an issue about it. Well I don't check my followers. I did sign up to 'twunfollow' a while ago and despite revoking access, I still get occassional notifications, but I just delete the email.
Twitter to me without saying Hi, is akin to standing outside someones window listening in, if I don't see or hear you, how do you expect me to know you are there?

If I don't want you listening in I'll draw the curtains (blocking)

I tend to unfollow people that rarely tweet or haven't tweeted in a while. I unfollow people that I don't have a lot in common with or non stop tweet links (especially if its to sponsored blogs) but I don't unfollow people that I chat with regulary, people that are on my face book or I interact with on Instagram.

I've been known to only ask once or twice to find out if someone has unfollowed me, just out of concern that I've offended or if I genuinally think it may be a 'glitch'.

However this week 3 people unfollowed me, 3 people who @reply me on a fairly regular basis, that have thanked me for the RT or have RT'd me. All 3 were also on Instagram and that's how I knew they had gone.

I'm not bothered that they had gone, unfollowed me...I am just puzzled as to why they would go to the effort to remove me from both places? why they are happy for me to still outside their window listening in?

How do you deal with being unfollowed? Do you ask why? Does it upset you? Do you unfollow back?

Keeping in touch, the old fashioned way

I read a post yesterday on @britmums by @kateonthinice about writing posts similar to other bloggers. http://www.britmums.com/forum/topics/have-

Today I'm doing the same. I read this post by @mummyblogger posted by @mumsnet http://slummysinglemummy.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/in-defence-of-the-written-word/ and after leaving my comment I realised I wanted to expand on this further in regards to letter writing.

I've written posts before about the importance of contact with family and friends back in the UK and the rest of the world. I tweet often about the disappointment when peoples lives become too busy to answer an email, yet alone spend time writing a letter.

I am aware many letters just don't get through to me, due to a postal service that shall we just say can be a bit dishonest.

My disappointment with the number of people I thought were friends, the number of family members who say ' they love hearing my news but have nothing to say back' has been counterbalanced by the love I have from twitter.

I have approximately 20 twitter penpals, who tweet when they receive a letter so I know its arrived and tweet when they reply so I know to look out for one.

If you want to be my penfriend, DM me or contact me on email visa this blog.

I love nothing more than post dropping through the door, I've even been excited to get my bills delivered on time.

Sad, but when youre an expat any and every bit of communication is welcomed and the contents poured over at every opportunity.

Making things and friends on twitter

The wonderful, fantastic @tattooed_mummy sent me these this morning.

She also started a craft swop. At Christmas I made these for @cherrytweeps




And got this from @peekaywrites
(can't find photo of red and White stripped sock)

The Easter craft I made is for @habzamaphone


And I'm looking forward to receiving what @redtedart has made for me.

I have new skills to offer, but I do require payment

This morning I emailled my CV to a relocation firm here in South Africa. My back ground is teaching in Special Needs and family support as well as two years spent as a Child Welfare Officer with a large sporting organisation.

All the skills I've gained over the years through work and studying were all put to good use with relocating our family to South Africa.

I'm pimping for work and have discovered it's every man/woman for themselves so I thought I'd blog a round up of what I've achieved here in the past year, who knows? at the very least I might get a book deal or even better paid employment in this area of work.

So here goes...

I arrived in Centurion in January 2010 with my Husband who is on a Inter Company Transfer Visa and my now two children aged 13 & 17 both on student Visas. I am here on a visitors visa of which I had hoped to obtain a work visa, based on information given prior to leaving the UK. My Husbands company are in the process of extending the visas.

Prior to our arrival I had not visited the country, we arrived within 4 months of the job offer being made and upon our arrival discovered that apart from a 6 week rental contract in the company name, nothing had been organised for us and there was no support available. Completely unfamiliar with South Africa, I made it a priority to settle the children and within 42 hours they were in school. My eldest was playing football with Birmingham City prior to our relocation and I found a football club for him, TUK's, to train with prior to leaving the UK. The school was chosen for us by the company as they had to have an offer place prior to the visas being issued.

In regards to the application for visas, my Husbands company provided the necessary paperwork for the transfer, but I was left to communicate with the school and arrange for their current schools to access their learning abilities and starting dates. I also made all contact within the UK in regards to where and when we submitted forms, chest xrays, police checks with out any support.

I then had 4 weeks upon arrival to open bank accounts, obtain proof of residency, register with RICA to obtain SIM cards, apply for a loan, purchase a car all necessary items in order to enable us to find a property to rent. We had no telephone or access to the internet in the apartment rented for us, which made the whole task a rather unpleasant, frightening and time consuming process. We further discovered to our alarm, when the eldest child recieved an injury on our 2nd week in the country that our Medical Aid hadn't been properly organised. This took several months of threatening phone calls from the hospital before we were able to sort it out and reclaim our payments. During this time we couldn't get a credit card or loans (other than the car, which due to the 2 year visa restriction meant a heafty deposit and high payments) all inital costs were made from our UK bank accounts. We did make plans with a UK bank offering all the services we needed but they failed to deliver, including cancelling my bank card in the first week due to 'unusual' activity.

After finally renting a property, I then had to find out how to get the water and electricty connected, telephone line and internet installed along with DSTV and sort out car and contents insurance. My husband was travelling abroad during this time and due to me not having proof of employment this was a difficult and long winded affair. We also had problems with customs in regards to releasing our container and this involved trips to SARS with additional release papers that the UK agents had failed to comply with. There were issues in regards to additional payments and with persistance and many visits this matter was over come and our furniture was only delayed by 2 weeks. However, during this period items were needed to be purchased which meant going places during the day unaccompanied in a foreign, unfamiliar and dangerous company to obtain.

It wasn't until April/May last year that I then turned my attention to Doctors and Dentists, familiarising myself with the Medical Aid, how to call an ambulance which hospitals, doctors, dentists met the payment requirements for the Medical Aid.

Now a year on I have started to build a support network, any help I have recieved has been via a network of people in the UK other expats all over the world and people I've met in South Africa, all online on social networking sites. I joined an expat group in Pretoria called Internations, which helped me to get out and meet people, but I've yet to meet anyone that has been in a similar situation. Everyone I've met to date has had help with all of the above to the extent that their companies include utility bills as part of the rental payments and cars and cells phones and medical aid cards have been handed over on arrival. Also most expats are not paid in local currency meaning that they still have credit history in their original country.

I feel now that the time is right for me to start to look for employment, I had intended to continue with my UK studies, but this impossible with sorting out all of the above and distance learning required the use of the internet which, other than 3G on mobile phones, we were without.

I feel that my ability to do the above has come from my sheer determination to succeed and to make a life for my family out here. My skills from my previous employment have been used to their fullest, communication, organising, negoitiating, overcoming hurdles have been best tested in this area of my life. My ability to remain calm and focused in some of the most difficult of situations has paid off and has enabled me to be very familiar with Centurion, Pretoria and most parts of Jahannesburg. Within 3 weeks I was driving after dark for football training, locating government buildings, improvising, adapting everything I know to help me be understood in such a different culture.

The biggest battle I face and still struggle with is the feeling of lonliness, lack of employment and a social life, which I feel should have been addressed on our arrival in order for me to have met people to have been offered support in regards to settling here. A simple list of properties to view, doctors, dentists an appointment to have the Medical aid explained, contact numbers for the municipality departments, telephone, internet, recommendations for car insurance companies, tourist leaflets on places of interest and more importantly a contact person in case of emergency especially when our eldest was injured and again when the youngest broke his arm and required surgery in July.

Having achieved all of this and alone, I feel I am in a good position now to offer support and guidance to other families relocating to South Africa and I would like to use this knowledge and experience to gain employment in this field.

I look forward to hearing from you and to potentially discuss a way forward.

Christmas letter

First there was the individual letters...52 of them sent in March, which prompted an initial response from less than half the people I sent them to, some replied on face book, some sent emails and a few sent letters. (postal system is a bit crap here, so I gave many the benefit of the doubt) then there was the request on twitter for pen pals and the response was brilliant. Letters started coming in and were coveted, re read and replied to immediately.

I boycotted face book for a few weeks and sent everyone an email to say that I found facebook not to be personal enough and while it's great everyone loves to hear about what we're up to, the point was TELL ME, not other people. That's why I love twitter, you get a response, you chat with someone about anything and everything, you DM, you move to email, you get requests from people to add more to the blog. I love how interactive it is.

Well the response I got from the email was mainly limited in relpy to friends off twitter, a few other 'old' friends responded to the email, but they were the ones that had written back in the first place.

So my last option is the round robin letter in the christmas card, another 52, I shall personalise them of course, ask questions about work, children and family life so there is something to reply to and this afternoon I'm off to get the annual family picture developed to include in each and every card.

I'm desperate for communication from 'home' it is often the highlight of our week to receive a letter even if it just says, 'nothing much doing here' it shows they care, we are missed and my efforts are appreciated.

So no response to my efforts, means there will be no further effort from me and I'll leave them behind, even if they are family.

December 2011 A A year on, wow, it has gone really fast, both the boys have now completed their first school year in South Africa, with Dan going into Matric in January, this is Grade 11 & 12, equivalent to A levels, but instead of 4 subjects he continues with all his options and grading for university has already started. Alex moves into senior school (for the second time, it’s graded differently here) and is looking forward to some of the more practical lessons, stage production, CAD, music technology. Peter is settled with his job and travelling as much as usual, no longer far flung places but only 2-3 hours by air.
It is most peculiar to be sat writing a letter dated in December and thinking about Christmas in 30c, wearing shorts and t shirts and even more strange to see all the Christmas decorations up in the shops and malls and all the same as the UK, snow scenes, Christmas trees with tinsel and baubles and hundreds of fairy lights, I had hoped for something different, but not sure what really.
I’m now working, voluntarily at a home for abused children under 4 and I’ve been collecting and handing out with Santa Shoebox for children who are orphaned and disadvantaged, all those years we donated boxes to various schools in the UK and now I’m actually getting to hand them out to these kids in Africa, it is actually a very humbling experience.
I’m back in the UK now with the boys for 3 weeks, we return to South Africa on the 20th December, finances, time and transport is limited, if I don’t get to visit this trip there is July and August next year.
The postal system isn’t the best here, in fact not a lot gets past customs, unless it is sent via recorded delivery or is in a A4 envelope marked ‘printed papers’ with a return address on the back. And that is both ways. So please drop me an email, if you have sent a letter or anything else to us that we haven’t acknowledged you for, it may be we just haven’t got it yet.
Hope you have a fab Christmas and look forward to hearing from you in the New Year. Kids want me to cook a traditional dinner but in this heat I think their luck is out.
Love Suzanne, Peter, Dan and Alex.

I'm really grooving now

#groovingmums is the inspiration of @netcurtains over on Kateonthinice.

This blog hop is in it's 7th week and there are a whole lot of people sharing their stories of why they need to get their groove back and what they are doing to find it.

Kate sets a task/challenge to do something new each week. I'm limited with my access to the interent and can't always complete the challenges.

This weeks challenges are Body art - do something different, paint your nails, get your hair done, wear make up and embrace your spiritual side. I'm also going to meet a previous challenge by the posting of the above picture.

I lost my groove 9 months ago when I left the UK with 2 of our children and my hubby to live in South Africa, it is challenging, it is lonely and it is my first experience of living abroad so I have nothing to compare it with. I have alot of spare time now, more time than I know what to do with myself since I gave up work and studies to move here. Most days I change the polish on my toe nails, file my finger nails, do my hair and apply make up. At first it was such a luxury to have the time to do all of this, but since joining the gym, I've given up with it now unless I'm going somewhere and letting my skin rest during the day when I'm at the gym or home. The picture above is just me, plain old me. I've never been too bothered if I've needed to pop to the shops or get out the car at school or even go to work without make up, but after all this time of applying it every morning it does feel a little strange to be bare faced again.

My spiritual side is a little more difficult to locate, I'm not a church goer any more. As a child I was sent to a Methodist church and I loved it, as a young adult I went to a baptist church as it was within walking distance of where I lived in the middle of nowhere and as a grown up Mother I attended a C of E church. Up until I met my husband 12 years ago, who as the Father of a disabled child, had experienced many comments from religious people how God had rewarded them with a perfect, healthy child as they were free from sin. I sort of lost faith after hearing that myself many times and I lapsed. I was however confirmed about 13 years ago and I do take communion and have been a witness at Adult and Child baptisims and 1st Communions. South Africa is a very religious country and as an inquisitive person I do ask people about their faith/retreats/religion.

Anyway, back to getting my groove back....by having a routine.

I'm timetabled, hubby did it....

he looked at what I needed to do for the week, bank, post office, driving licence and tyre pressure valve and using the family planner he jotted them down in no particular order and made sure I planned a trip to the gym every day for what has become my daily mile swim. I feel now I have a purpose to my day, he brings me a cup of tea in the morning, the kids get themselves ready for school, I chuck on some clothes over my swimming costume, clean my teeth and head out for my swim, I spend half hour in the sauna, I shower and if I don't look too haggard I leave the make up off, sit down for a latte in the cafe and use their computers for playing on the internet, a luxury we no longer have at home.

The best thing for me joining #groovingmums is I've found some great bloggers, I read a blog posting every day, have subscribed via email, where available, can't always comment, don't always want to and discovered a whole new group of people struggling/suceeding with daily life.

I was going to give up blogging, I cleared my timeline of sponsored bloggers, nearly did a Stephen Fry and jacked it all in, but instead got rid of tweeters that judged, that tried to offer guidance (often misjudged) on a variety of subjects such as co-sleeping, breast feeding etc, all stuff I'd out grown, with little knowledge or referencing. I want to hear how you actually over come a problem, I want to hear that I'm normal, not a super mummy, not a yummy mummy, although have been called a MILF before and was rather flattered.

I've now accepted a challenge from @netcurtains '10 things about me' which I'm off to do now.

Steps to recovering my grove

Yeah I'm getting there....well I was and then had another minor set back.

First the bad news, I'll get it out the way as quick as possible, trying to change the status of your visa is.....well words fail me, see my last blog post for more info on that if you're interested...

And the good new is, drum roll, I've got a volunteers placement, no need to change the status of my visa there then.

It's with www.thebabyhouse.org a new venture for abused and abandoned children under 4, some of the stories of abuse are harrowing and I know its not going to be an easy job, I know I shall enjoy the challenge. I will be blogging on the baby house some more over the weekend.

Then there was the Pirate cup cake challenge, could I make 30 for a boys 5th birthday party, yeah no problem, I really enjoyed myself and the said boy, called me today (obv with mums help) to say his friends loved them as did he and could they have some for their birthday.


I also accepted another challenge/task to make some christmas decorations, sort of a secret santa to post to one another over on twitter and I've had so much enjoyment making them, that I'm doing more as gifts for family and friends when I return to the UK in December for a holiday.


So all in all, it looks like my groove is returning, I feel healthier and feel I have more of a purpose. I still have to tackle the University, but I'm going to put that on hold for a bit and concentrate on the things I find rewarding.

Why I prefer Twitter to Facebook

Twitter allows me to be me. I find it non judgemental, I can say what I like and how I feel and even discuss quite personal issues.

I started my blog as a way to tweet longer, to explain a tweet and to be able to express an opinion.

My blog developed into somewhere I could share my experiences of parenting teens and as a place to give and receive advice.

We then moved to South Africa and it has become a permanent record of our families life here and the difficulties faced living in such a beautiful yet dangerous country.

The reason I use twitter over Facebook to promote my blog is I don't want certain people reading it, I don't want their comments, opinions and judgements. I don't want their pity and I dont want them sharing our lives with people I don't particullarg want to share my life with.

I've given the link to a few family and friends that I feel I can trust and don't object to them finding me on twitter.

Twitter allows me to be me, where as on Facebook I play the role of the daughter, the sister, the friend people want me to be.

Two old birds

In honour of our 40th Birthdays, I had these made.
Guess who has the other one?



If you'd like your own custom made cushi contact @hippydi
I can vouch for their quality, price and speed of delivery.

Who's your support network?

When I had my kids I lived in a small village in the Forest of Dean in Gloucestershire. Ive just turned 40 and my kids are 19, 16 and 12...I also have 2 step kids aged 23 and 22.

At the time I'm talking about I only had two children they were newborn and aged 2, I moved away when they were 10 and 7 and had another child aged 2.

I joined a local playgroup, saw the health visitor at clinics on a regular basis, took turns to have friends round with their kids, went to play groups, met up for picnics in the parks, bike rides etc, the kids went to nursery, preschool and school together, with the same group of people for the 8 years...a few new people moved to the village and joined the same groups and a few moved away.

We all helped out at the school with fundraising and fetes, at church groups, cubs and brownies and the local football team.

Yes there was a clique, there was the one with the foul mouth, the one who let their kids run wild, the one that had an affair and split the village, the one that had a bit more spare cash than the rest of us and the odd falling out about who's child started it.

But on the whole it was good, I'd even been to school with 2 other parents in a different town, there were nights out, tears and endless babysitting.

We were all a similar age, from similar backgrouds and similar experiences. It wasn't idylic but it was fun.

Do you have this? This was 1995-2002, I didn't get a mobile phone or the internet till 2000.

I wish it was still like this, today when you have a baby you reach out to the internet for information and advice, breast feeding, what age to leave your kids alone or let them out in the street...

...but when you get your response from 100's of people and experts does it make you feel good, does it make you feel as if you're doing it all wrong or does it help justify your parenting skills?

Remember when you use the internet, twitter, facebook or google you're reaching a much wider audience, you're recieving advice from people that haven't had kids, people from completly different social and financial backgrounds, different ages, countries, experiences.

It doesn't mean that they're right and you're wrong.

WTF is blogging etiquitte?

Sod off and get a life.....

If someone argues the toss with me...and they have and they will again...over my views and opinions, I'll defend myself alright, It's my take on things, it's from my view point and from my experience...

If you have a different view point or different experiences that's great, share, but don't tell me I'm wrong...I'll argue/debate for so long then I'll walk away...if anyone wants to defend me that's great also, but I won't be pimping for support to back my views up...I'm not bothered with follower numbers, comments or who's list I'm on, most of my blogging is for friends to read that aren't on twitter or facebook and they are also forming in part a diary for us of our lives in South Africa.

If people become abusive, offensive or use foul language I walk away, especially when it happens on other peoples blogs...I don't get involved..it's not my fight...

If it happens to me in real life I don't go phoning a friend, or drag a stranger into the row...I walk away, so why do people think it's different on the internet?

You'd walk away from someone in the street being abusive so do the same on the internet, unfriend, unfollow. Block them if they are abusive and if they threaten you go to the police, don't stay around to be bullied and threatend, don't fight back....just walk away

Internet Porn

If I want to see your bits, then I'll ask....I'll google, I'll buy a magazine...
but I do not want to see them on here. I'm not a prude...I just don't do porn...I don't even own a vibrator.

If I was walking down the street and someone flashed their bits at me, I'd call the police (once I'd finished laughing), next person down the street could be a child.

I'd be asked for a statement, I'd give a description of the person (not their bits)

Hopefully they'd be arrested, if caught, and charged.

So why is it different if someone flashes me on twitter, posting pictures in their timeline or even with an @ to me?

Go find yourself a forum where people request to see your bits, when they have sought out this type of activity...

...and stop 'shoving'* it down my throat...

*pun intended

If you don't tell me I'm getting it wrong, how am I ever supposed to know?

I go through life disappointed. Disappointed in myself and others but mainly with myself. I've blogged before about givers and takers and lack of post from the UK since moving here.

I aim too high, I set my standards to high and I fall, every bloody time. I won't learn, I can't change, but I am learning not to let it affect me like it used to.

Now I have a little rant, I have a little cry, sometimes I tweet it, but I no longer challenge.

I find if I dare to complain, tell someone that their reaction to my well thought out intentions has hurt me or explain why their actions or words have upset me, it ends up with them verbally attacking me, explaining how my expectations make them feel and why I make them behave the way they do towards me and I end up apologing for making them feel like that. And the issue of how I felt is left, undiscussed. But at least they feel better.

My biggest problem is I offer help/support/guidance when I see or hear them in trouble or when they post a comment or when I'm told by a third party something is wrong and they need help. But I do it in my way, not they way they want apparently. I spend my time looking for the right gift rather than just chucking money their way, I write what I think they want/need to hear and until they say my advice/help/support/guidance/gifts aren't wanted I just carry on blindly.

Since moving to South Africa I've discovered who/what is important to me, I've got rid of some deadwood, hangers on/takers. I've done this as a response from all the lovely letters, emergency PG Tips parcels, phone calls, personal messages, skype calls, emails and mostly but not entirely from people I've never even met. (Isn't twitter a wonderful place)

But what I've noticed and what has upset me the most is while people feel they can have a go at me because I'm not writing enough, I'm not making enough calls. Calls are expensive, the internet doesn't always work. I've sent photo's, gifts and long letters, I ask them questions about their lives, jobs, kids to give them something to reply to. But then they don't write back, evderyone loves to hear from me, everyone loves the photos's, the gifts, the letters. They don't reply, they've got nothing to say, they don't say thanks, they don't post a message to say I got your gift and thank you. I post comments on their face book, I reply to their status updates and the most I get back is a 'like'.

So no more, you reply to me I'll reply to you, you bother with me and I'll bother with you, that's how it works, it doesn't have to be a letter or a call it could just me a message to me, rather than posting your general news in my timeline or public announcements on face book.

So when you don't get a card for your birthday or at christmas and I don't pop in and say Hi when I return to the UK in December, it'll be your turn to be disappointed, your turn to wonder what you've done wrong and I won't be engaging in a conversation with you either so you can feel better.....it'll be your turn to wonder why?

23 Tweet ups

In no particular order
1st tweet up didn't work out...not as much in common as the tweets indicated, but I had a nice few visits and it didn't stop me.

@mediocre_mum many, many visits...her and family to ours, us to them on xmas day, a twuneral,(@elladickenson was there) over night stays when I was working in London, many pub trips and a weekend away with #twitsfortits, great fun, great friend, her daughter yells..it's chickenruby and won't accept my name is Suzanne.

@annieqpr on her birthday with @mediocre_mum...a QPR nut, mnay occassions to the pub where shes drunk white wine with ice cubes and even walked home one night with her glass still full, met hubby on xmas eve and two adorable kids.

@cbolam and her hubby and son - in the pub on xmas day, one and only visit before we , would love to see her again.

@captaintom3 and @mrstom and their lovely son, descended on them with youngest and @blakey108 whilst camping in sussex, turned up early for breakfast and had @captaintom3 fetching us from train station, very late at night when we missed our train coming back from Wembley.

@stephiemalverns - yep from Malvern, lived round the corner, many fun nights line dancing and lots of visits to the pub.

@welsh_si and @ladywl - met in Starbucks in Newport for a coffee, took hubby along for first tweet up with them, later joined them with @ianlatham and family for breakfast one week and @amandalatham popped along.

@mustntgrumble - hadn't really interacted a great deal on twitter, but went on a training course in Northants and we met in the local pub, loads of things in common, mainly kids but same tolerance levels of life.

Arh yes the football #BCFC
@knutroger from Norway to see Liverpool play.
@jenfortnum who popped down from her seat to say hi.
@stevanegg in Mcdonalds and the pub prior to kick off and a lend of his sons season ticket.
@kevb8ll and his son after a match, outside the club shop.

#twits for tits
first met @gawnee and @beachhut81 in Neros in Winchester, took son for job interview and they popped over for the afternoon.
@pennynash lives near by husbands aunt and uncle...Penny took me on a route march around the Lee on Solent, in her wellies and thick winter jacket (it was May)
The we all met up again for a weekend away with @mediocre_mum in Wales on a cancer charity walk, fundraising via twitter. Janes boots fell apart and Chrissie had some evil blisters.

@wondernat and family on the beach at Eastbourne for the airshow...we actually met the previous year discussing the airshow with one another.

@becksbissel at her 40th birthday party, nearly met @Justin_A but he got lost and we left early.

@bob_the_nurse - always tweeting beep beep on our way to MIL in Bath, finally tweeted up in the pub in her home town (yes she really is a she) 1st meeting was cancelled due to us breaking down.

I met @chris_swan on a train to Birmingham, we chatted, she was palying with her phone, I asked if she tweeted, she did, we added one another then discovered we both taught at the same college and followed the same people.

I've not met @dawnmcwilly, but we posted oneanother sweets across the atlantic.

Same with @julesey10 we've chatted on the phone..does that count.

and finally @rydlewis...never met him, but he works with my BIL who says he's a great guy.

....so who's next...I'm hoping it's @By_Mercia this weekend at the local Mall...I'm a quick worker....

If I've forgotten anyone *crosses fingers* I'm sorry, I'll add you somewhere in the middle and no-one will ever know...