Tuesday 24 October 2017

Advice for a new mum

Parenting since 1992.

This is me with my 1st born, aged almost 3 months old. The day this photo was taken, I got on a plane to Barcelona to go on holiday for a week.

That baby is now 25 and boy doesn't he go on about how I abandoned him. When he reached 18, he left home and 3 months later we moved to South Africa.

25 years on, he has emigrated to Australia.

I had 2 more children in 1995 and 1999 and in 2000 I inherited a 10 & a 11 year old when I remarried.

I think I've done ok as a mum, hubby hasn't done too bad either, as a dad. All 5 of the kids still speak to us. We visit them regularly and they come to visit us in Dubai for their annual holidays accompanied by their girlfriends.

Each one of my 3 boys learnt different things at different times. the eldest was 13 months when he walked, the 2nd was up and running around 10 months and youngest........oh I have no idea, I stopped recording every single milestone by then.

For the eldest child I have a perfectly completed 'my first year' book, complete with lockets of hair, first teeth etc. Nothing other than the red book for child 2 and by the time the youngest was born, I hardly visited the health visitor so the red book is half empty other than dates of inoculations.

Things that seemed important at the time, but have no relevance now:

Dates, days and times of birth.
Eldest Friday 7.29am
Middle after Eastenders, narrows the day down to a Tuesday or Thursday
Youngest 3 4.40pm?????

Age at first tooth.
No idea

Potty trained.
Eldest At the expected development time
MiddleBefore starting school
Youngest Sometime after starting school

Eldest breast fed 6 weeks, bottle fed till aged 1 and weened at 6 months as per the health visitor.
Middle Breast fed till 4 months, bottle fed till 1 year and weened
Youngest Breast fed exclusively 4 months and then breast and bottle fed till 6 months and weened at 6 months also.

You see the thing is they are all now adults, they can all read and write. they all have different interests and hobbies and personalities. They have favourite foods, music, football teams, political opinions and different views on Brexit.

It doesn't matter now at what age they took their first steps, said their first words or even rode a bike. They are who are they are now and there is nothing we can do about it.

Raising kids is hard, but you don't have to make it harder on yourself, try not to over think it, don't compare yourself to others with any milestone for your child.

Every stage is a challenge, every stage can be stressful, every stage is the hardest thing you've done, but raising kids is like giving birth, once you've done it, you forget all about it, until the next one comes along, let your child go with the flow and trust me, if you're relaxed, they will be also and milestones achieved with greater ease.

Have you read my post on Parenting without Social Media? I do believe parenting was much easier back then. 


  1. My advice for new mum's would be to savour every second. As before you know it they have grown and flown the nest, as mine have #teenstweensandbeyind

  2. Such a heartwarming post and I know you're right about the fact that these things may not matter in the grand scheme of things. But I love memories and keepsakes to look back at. I have her first handprint and footprint on an inkblot frame. I have a picture of her chewing on a book. And so many other precious things. I draw from these at times when I have to blog and they make me all warm inside :)

    My latest post: *On Being a Strict Mom*

    1. Oh we have tones of keepsakes, items randomly shoved in boxes that I have every intention of sorting one day

  3. Absolutely Susannah. If only those of us with one child had done less of the documenting - mind you I can't. There's some things I wouldn't bother with - like trying to do a memory book or 200 photo albums (yawn). You would think I'd be bitter considering there are only about 10 in circulation of me!! And nobody knew if I'd had Chicken Pox as a child when I became pregnant. But the memory books and boxes continue to grow and now my daughter says 'put that in the memory box ......' too #tweensteensbeyond

    1. Oh yes we have memory boxes, all just shoved in and no idea what’s what anymore

  4. Oh gosh this is so true. I have three girls and I was so laid back with my third! I don't even remember weaning her - I think she just grabbed food off her sister's plates! Thanks so much for supporting us at #TweensTeensBeyond

    1. Same here, hubby and I were discussing co-sleeping, he said it didn’t used to have a name, we just shoved them in bed with us so we could sleep

  5. Oh I can't remember anything at all. My daughter is always asking questions "what was my first word?" Sometimes I am tempted to lie but I am not very good at it. We do have a huge memory box and alot of stuff just gets chucked in there waiting for someone to sort it out. They probably will when we have disappeared! Great advice on not comparing yourself to others. Our best is good enough. A lovely post Suzanne. #TweensTeensBeyond

    1. I often confuse which child said/did what and they call me out in it now so I’ve given up

  6. I only have one, it will be interesting to see how different it is when I have more. I remember some things and can't remember others. Thanks for joining us at #TriumphantTales this week!

    1. We did start to jot things down of what we remembered but confused which child said/did what and gave up