Tuesday 3 October 2017

Things I wish I'd never done as a parent

Mum to 5. All kids now adults, all still speak to me. 3 living in the UK. 1 stationed in the Middle East, 1 in Australia.

They're all good kids, none of them took the Uni route, none of them have been in trouble with the law (sailed close). Happy with their life choices, partners, jobs or lack off, no real complaints, a few niggles, but in general, all is good.

Could I have done things differently? Of course I could. I could've shouted less, nagged less, let them join all the clubs they wanted, attend all the parties, given them more pocket money, let them stay up later, but this could've made a huge different to the outcome on where they are now, their happiness and their futures. But there are things that I did do, that I didn't need to do, that wouldn't have had a negative impact on their lives and could've saved me, as a parent, an awful lot of stress and they are:


  • make the kids keep their bedrooms tidy
  • bake cakes for birthdays and school fetes
  • join the PTA
  • attend school fetes, book fairs and volunteer to read in school
  • ironed school unifrom
  • sewed name tags on sports kit
  • washed football boots
  • sat and watched every sporting event they took part in
  • attended school assemblies and presentation evenings
  • insisted the boys had their hair cut
  • encouraged them to play a musical instrument or join any club they really weren't interested in
  • insisted they had part time jobs
  • stopped them from having a TV in their rooms until they were 14
  • Ironed clothes

Are there any things you did or do that you think with hindsight maybe weren't/aren't that important in the great scheme of things? 

18 comments:

  1. Interesting question Suzanne! I think for me perhaps the signing up to too many things when my daughter was younger or paying for Cello lessons for many years that so wasn't going to get off the ground. All good fun at the time though!! Thanks for sharing with us at at #tweensteensbeyond. Obviously, everything I have done, you have done times five so I can see what was behind the choices!! I'm also glad that I haven't had to do the whole football thing

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    1. the one thing i really miss is the football, but there were hardly any parents that went and i should've sat in a warm cafe during training rather than standing on the side of the pitch during every training session

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  2. Interesting question indeed. I am still very much in the thick of it with my parenting, with my 4 kids at primary school. Thankfully they don't have a school uniform, and I stopped ironing long before they were born.
    #TriumphantTales

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    1. once the kids kit 14 it was 'you want it ironed, then you iron it' same applies now to hubby and I only buy clothes for me that don't need ironing

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  3. Not encouraged my eldest to watch Dr Who (it gave her nightmares!!!), not tried out so many therapies for my disabled daughter and I'd have done lots and lots different with my autistic son if I knew then what I know now.

    But my total ban on TVs and internet connected devices in bedrooms until you're 18, I don't regret at all!

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    1. i'm with you on the therapies etc, but ours was more about wishing I'd said no to each and every dr who thought they could find a cure

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  4. Oh this made me laugh, still very much in the middle of it all but with a 6/8 year gap between the older two and the youngest we do notice that the younger one gets away with a lot more. I am fairly chilled about a lot of stuff but a stickler for ironing (we have someone to do it at the moment but even at my busiest I iron EVERYTHING, I even ironed babygrows and nappies. We are also hyper strict about TV (living room only, ever! Laptops are allowed in bedrooms for work but they don't have internet access there). I often leave attending school stuff to Mr EE as he is in school anyway. What could I have done less of.... well I should probably not have written a 15 page 'guide' to babysitting our eldest..... I have also learned to be less strict with food, I only ever cook one thing per meal but I try to ensure that everyone gets something they really like each week and I now allow the older ones to make a sandwich if they really don't want to eat the main meal.

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    1. oh yes the dreaded meal times, i would cook one meal and those who didn't like it would have a sandwich,

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  5. Sadly I think I am still doing some of these and wish I wasn't but needs must sometimes. I am glad I have less to do now that I am down to one teen rather than two but the list of obligations is still long. #TweensTeensBeyond

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    1. my biggest help was living abroad and that I spent so much time back in the UK that they just had to get on with a lot of stuff for themselves at an early age

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  6. I think we all have things that we would have done differently in hindsight. There is nothing major I would have changed, just little things like actually enjoy time together instead of nagging them to do things.
    #TriumphantTales

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    1. yep, it is all the little things i would change, think we did ok with the big stuff

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  7. I opted out of ironing anything many years ago so no regrets there! I think I tried a lot harder with my eldest and had slacked off a bit by number three! I was certainly buying cakes for the PTA cake sale and not making them! Thanks so much for sharing with us at #TweensTeensBeyond

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    1. the hours i wasted volunteering and baking cakes for school events and not so much as a thank you either

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  8. A really interesting list and I agree with a lot of them! I've never baked cakes or been on the PTA, but I was a school governor for five years and in the end the stress of that got too much! I won't do that again, even though we still have many years of school left. I've never sewn on any name labels or ironed any school uniform - I iron on name labels! I gave up nagging about the bedrooms years ago.

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    1. i've never had much luck with sew on or iron labels and ended up writing in a marker pen, they still lost half their uniform and pe kit regardless

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  9. I happily do not iron anything. When their room is a mess, I shut the door, and instead of cooking for the potluck, I often pick up. I think you would be rather proud of me. Now I do nag about kindness and manners... #TriumphantTales xoxo

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    1. nagging about kindness and manners is a given and well done on shutting the bedroom doors, it's a tough one

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