A year of non expat life

Arriving home:

We arrived back in the UK a year ago on last Friday after almost 11 years abroad. Our return home was marred by 10 nights hotel quarantine due to covid and the restrictions that halted our plans to celebrate my 50th, Peter's retirement and our move. We also had huge delays with our container due to the back log and shortage of containers after the Evergreen ran aground, add to that the shortage of lorry drivers due to Brexit, it wasn't the best move we've had, but it was our last.

Here's my Tiktok video during quarantine

Home improvements:

We spent the first few months of our return deciding if we wanted to stay in our family home or move, but the rise in house prices and the costs to move are ridiculous so we've opted to stay put. We've since had a new kitchen, Peter is building a base for a new shed/summer house and if we can find a reliable builder, we'll be getting an extension done. There is also a lot of other home improvement plans in the making. I'll be sorting the garden out properly once the outdoor work is completed. 

Work:

I'm now working full time, term time only in a local secondary school. I go in for 8.30am and leave at 3pm and I have all the school holidays off. I'm loving it. I also signed with an agency and worked in a covid vaccination site and I've been offered more work on the European Golf Tour, although I've had to turn a lot down, due to location and working in the school where I can't have annual leave in term time. I'm, loving being back in work, everyone is really nice, but I don't feel I've particularly gelled with anyone, so I just do my job and go home, which is ok with me.

Family:

Our family has grown with the introduction of our grandson in November last year, they're a ferry crossing or a flight away. Our eldest grandchild is an hour away so lots of visits there.

Friends: 

Old and new, near and far. Lots of effort made by everyone to maintain these friendships now we're back.

Activities:

Dog walks, pub visits, cooking, holidays in the UK.

Future plans:

Apart from the building work our plans include Australia this summer, buying a camper van, exploring more of the UK and hopefully a trip to Vegas in October half term for our 20th wedding anniversary. We got engaged out there and haven't been back since October 2010 when we saw Cher at Caesars Palace. We don't have anything planned after that.

Life after expat life ends:

For Peter it's the change from working full time to retiring he's adjusting to. I'm not missing anything. I'm glad we had the experience, it's certainly been a fun packed 11 years in South Africa and Dubai, but I do like being home, in one place, family near(ish) by (apart from son in Australia) I'm back working, reconnected with old friends (missing the friends made abroad) but generally much happier just managing one life in one house, in one country.

Have you had to make any big adjustments to your life for whatever reason?

My Sunday Photo - Week 56

Peter is off to Turkey this week with work, so I have the house to myself. Usually I don't like it when he's away as I spend 24 hours every day on my own, but now I'm working I don't mind as much and I bet the week races by.

All planning etc done and ready for the week. Desk cleared ready for personal stuff to sort - student loan, bank account UK and Dubai. The teens medical needs to address with school, letters to write and parcels to be sent, blog posts to write, cat and dog re registered with the municipality, the ironing needs doing and of course I have to feed myself. There will be numerous hot baths to enjoy before the weather gets too hot, a beach to visit. A trip to the night gardens and the illuminations on the Burj Khalifa. I'm also hoping for a few early nights, I really need my sleep.

Leaving South Africa Part 3

As a mother to 5 children who had a full time job, was studying and with a husband who worked away our family ran like a military operation. 3 different secondary schools, various activities, football, sea and army cadets, part time jobs that involved 6am starts at the newsagents and late shifts in fast food restaurants.

I had routine, I cooked once a week to stock up the freezer, I studied while one of the children was at football training and matches 2 nights a week and Sunday afternoons. I washed daily, school uniforms, football kit, work uniforms, the ironing would be done as and when needed and housework would be done on the odd morning I had at home and everyone was out. Eventually employing a cleaner for 3 hours a week in the final year prior to becoming an expat.

As a concequence what I’ve never been able to do is make plans, book in advance. I’m a spur of the moment person and when we lived in the UK, I had no problem getting in the car or catching a train to go off and watch a football match in Birmingham or at Wembley. We’d find ourselves unexpectedly child free on a weekend where the other paretns plans happened to coordinate, or when left with only one child who’s granny said ‘yes she’d love to have them for the weekend’ with only an hours notice and ususally we’d be on route with said child at the time of the phone call.

I was fortunate that my work was as and when needed and I could do a lot of work from home, phone calls etc. With the youngest in boarding school, I was able to work evenings and as long as I left some form of dinner, either food or money for the chip shop, the other 3 children would usually be in and out during the evening so I could leave them on their own if hubby was away. Neighbours, friends and parents would be available in an emergency, as would we for them.

Since becoming an expat I’ve not worked or studied, in the last year of the kids living in South Africa the eldest was driving so he did the school runs. I tried to establish a routine and failed, it’s taken me nearly 4 years to accept I don’t have and don’t need a routine any more, there are still some things that are ingrained that I feel the need to keep doing which is bulk cooking once a week for the freezer, wash as and when needed, I paid someone to do the ironing prior to the kids leaving home. I tried to have set days for my voluntary, charity and fundraising work, but then everytime I got into a routine a visitor would arrive or my car would be off the road and with no public transport, I’d be stranded.

I have plans, ideas, things I’d like to do, places I’d like to see. I book our holidays pretty much last minute and if where we want to go isn’t available then we just go somewhere else. I want to go to the Western Cape in September/October to see the flowers in bloom. We have visitors until the 16^th of September and at some point over the next 2 weeks I will know my dates for a visit to Dubai, so until then I can’t plan the Western Cape trip.

In November, December or January we will be leaving South Africa, it still isn’t finalized as to where we will be going. Being a mother to 5 children, having had a career, been a mature student, dealt with a move abroad (that didn’t go well) emergency trips back to the UK with no notice when my Dad had a heart attack 2 years ago, 3 months notice to organize the youngest child to return to the UK to attend boarding school, dealing with tenants from hell and the last child leaving home and going through empty nest syndrome, dealing with depression and chronic pain., means I’m equppied to deal with most things that life has to throw at me.

But what I can’t cope with and don’t deal with very well, is everyone elses need to know what I’m doing, when I’m doing it and where.

Without a firm date and knowledge of where we are actually going I’m unable to answer any of your questions other than the ones about how I feel about it all, which to be honest, I’m at the stage where if I’m forced to think about how I feel, I’ll probably snap your head off, so it’s probably best not to ask. All I can do is research a move to Dubai, to the UK, removal firms, obtain quotes, find out the regualtions for moving the cat and dog to either country, llok for employment, but not apply, save website pages for agencies for both countries ready to register with them, the same with housing in either countryupdate my CV, have a clear out, start sorting through paperwork, clothes, kids toys they’ve left behind and start my goodbyes, because that’s the only thing for sure I know I’ll be doing and that is leaving this beautiful country that I’ve had the pleasure of calling home for nearly 4 years and out of all the above, that is going to be th hardest thing I think I’ve ever had to do.