You're not perfect either.

For some parents out there who blog about other parents looking down on them, remember this......
when you blog about how the perfect mummy made a mistake or told you how 'perfect' their family are, just remember they are probably telling you this because without knowing it you're probably the person that made them feel inferior in the first place and the reason why perhaps they need to show off to your face, rather than through a blog post. Just remember that next time you go to put someone down, maybe there is a reason they've behaved like that.

I unfollowed a mass of tweeters that do just that, sometimes I was able to read between the lines (140 characters and see just who they were talking about). I don't follow any blogs, but I do click on links on twitter that catch my attention.

There seems to be a change in how blogs are being written, everyone is the expert, professional and their way is the right way, this in turn is leading to a lot of negative blog posts about how wrong these self proclaimed experts are. I think a lot of it comes from some people wanting to add the words 'award winning blogger' to their profiles.

The thing to remember is, that on social media we all come from different backgrounds, different cultures/communities and actually have little in common with one another online. I wrote previously about parenting support in the good old day before social media.

And if your child doesn't get picked to take the lead in the school play or come first at sports day, what's the worse that can happen to them? Most of the time the child isn't actually that bothered, but as parents it seems important to some that their child is the most popular.

As per usual when I tweet or blog something like this I get a string on responses from people who ask 'who me?' it rarely ever is, but it is so reassuring to know that there are people out there that still care about how their opinions on others can upset.

Please note I've used the word 'some' and not 'all' so try not to get offended and please be aware I will be honest with any responses to comments, because I, like 'some' don't believe in playing the game to appear to fit in.

Don’t feel you fit in, well look around you at all the other misfits.

 

So many blog posts and tweets about not fitting in, my heart could break. Most of these to do with the school gates.

Why do you want to look like the ‘perfect mum’ slim, designer clothing, ballerina daughter and football playing son?

Do you think their life is perfect? Do you think they’re honest with the others? Do you consider their marriage may be unhappy, that everything they own is on credit and every month they worry about getting the house repossessed? Do you assume they own their own house and the cars? They may rent and lease.

Do you not think that they may envy you, your confidence to arrive at school without your make up on and wearing casual clothes while they go to work in a job they hate, are under pressure with, just to keep afloat because they don’t want to appear to be a failure.

You know they way they look at you and you assume their looking down their nose at you, thinking ‘what a failure’ I don’t want to be like that, have you considered they may be thinking. ‘why can’t I be more like that?’ natural, real and just myself.

And while you’re going home after the school run thinking you don’t fit in, did you stop and take in how many other people there were in the playground, like you stood on their own, maybe thinking the same thing, but about you, not the ones you’re aspiring to be like.

I’ve spent years in the school playgrounds, joining the PTA, even running it for 2 years, my school playground has involved 5 primary school playgrounds, 2 at private schools and 1 of those in a different country. Village, town and City schools and do you know what? I never fitted in anywhere. I tried. I failed. And as time went on I actually didn’t care. There may have been some that looked up at me and thought ‘why can’t I be like that, there may have been some that looked at me and thought ‘what a mess’ but do you know what. None of it matters, because your kids leave school, they make their own friends.

Good friends are made through common interests and I’m afraid the fact they you all have children just isn’t enough of a shared interest.