What I wore for World Book Day

I work in a secondary school supporting a student in 6th form. The English department have encouraged us to join in and dress up as our favourite book character. 

Can you guess who mine is?

Denim skirt - Primark

Top - Splash

Shoes - Converse

Socks - Amazon

Monkey (borrowed from next doors 3 year old)

Wig - Amazon

Last time I was working in a school was infants in Dubai and I dressed as Mary Poppins.

Prior to that I've made numerous costumes for my kids when they were in primary school.

Do you join in with World Book Day or as a parent to you hate the hassle? cost?

Is our youngest child ready to leave school?

I doubt there are many parents who are fully prepared for their youngest child to finish school and leave home. For us, our youngest child has already left home, so unlike with the other children I have very little idea if he's actually ready to leave school and go into the big wide world of work.

Our youngest child leaves school this year. He will be 18 years and 2 months old.

Our youngest child of 5 left home in South Africa in August 2013, aged 14 years and 4 months to return to the UK to complete his education, the last child (4 of 5) left home in January 2014 1 week before his 19th birthday, having completed his schooling the previous month.

Apart from the school holiday we haven't parented for 2 years and have since moved to Dubai. We also haven't taken much of a role in the youngest's school life, apart from occasional emails and very few visits, he hasn't needed it, he's been on track for his apprenticeship with CISCO, he has an active social life both in school on on exeat weekends with friends and I've visited the UK during the shorter holidays and him to Dubai over the summer and Christmas.

This last few months of his schooling will be busy for both him and I, and I will be making regular visits to the school as we discuss the 'what next?' in regards to where his apprenticeship will take place and the logistics around the when and the how and most definitely the costs involved in regards to housing.

Our eldest child is in a care home, children 2 & 4 joined the army and child 3 had accommodation offered with his first job on leaving home, although in later years we helped out with deposits and landlord issues as he changed careers and moved around the UK.

We've not had a conventional school life with our children, involving 4 different, but simultaneous primary schools and 6 different secondary schools both in the UK and South Africa.

Although technically I haven't been involved with school life for a very long time, I think I will miss it. Having sent the older children off to school on their first day in both primary and secondary, by the time the youngest 2 went to school I had few questions or few worries. By the time the youngest 2 left home, I'd gone through all the worries and fears with their older siblings and it was easier to let them go, but also harder as this time they were moving 6000 miles away.

As adults, we see the children 2-3 times a year, either with their visits to us in Dubai, now with girlfriends and mates or us to the UK.

But having a child in school for the past 21 years has given me stability, reassurance and a sense of time, a way to mark the year, arrange birthdays, holidays and finances. Without school I'm not sure now how I will mark the years from now on, as their birthdays will be spent at work, with friends, Christmas will be spent with their own families as the years go by.

I'm just not sure that I'm ready for our last child to leave school, just yet. Peter is of course very relieved as it means an end to private school fees and his dream of an Aston Martin could become a reality.

Week 50 - One Daily Positive and Project 366

My last week as a teacher in Dubai. I survived a year, but it wasn't for me. After 5 years of not being able to work, I think I probably took the wrong job, so I could reclaim some of my identity.

There's no sadness about leaving. The work load was manageable and I loved teaching the kids, but I felt under so much pressure to be 'better' all the time. My reasons for leaving were because of this, but I told the parents it was because I needed to spend more time with my family in the UK. 

My official letter wasn't issued till Tuesday and it implied that the school had asked me to leave.

'From time to time we have to restructure staffing arrangements.........'

My colleagues came to say goodbye and threw me a little party, the parents and children gave me some amazing gifts of jewellery, flowers and perfumes, but the management team didn't say goodbye, my salary cheque wasn't ready and I was even told I had to do planning for the new teacher for the first week back.

So no regrets.

My mum is still finding it too hot to go out during the day so it's home from work and off out somewhere. this week we visited Mirdif City Centre Mall, The aquarium on the Palm, Mercato Mall, City Walk and The Green Planet Rain Forest, Dubai Festival City and the beach at sunset for a walk and dinner.

Day 346 Carol. Mirdif City Centre, christmas shopping.

Day 347 Dark. The Atlantis Palm. A visit to the aquarium, a drive round the Palm and fish and chips for supper on the Board Walk.

Day 348 Teacher. Completing the final pieces of paperwork in school. In the evening we popped to Mercato Mall where I picked up some Jack Wills clothing for the 2 youngest kids for Christmas as there was 40% off.

Day 349 Looking up. The Green planet rain forest.

Day 350 Family. Last day at work and some of the gifts from the families of the children in my class. 

We went out for a meal in the evening to The Walk at JBR with Peter's colleagues.

Day 351 Cake. A visit to Dubai Festival City, including a trip to Ikea.

Day 352 Thank you. Bob and Jelly's party bag from Dog Walk. 

We're looking after a friends dog until the New Year.

My Sunday Photo - Week 99

Sunday is a school day in Dubai, it's also the day before the Inspectors arrive. 

I run an after school gardening club.

My classroom is set up ready for the morning and the last thing I needed this afternoon was covering the class in compost.

So far this term we've planted sunflowers, lettuce, tomatoes, peas, strawberries and melon seeds, so todays lesson was spent sampling the foods we are growing and drawing pictures of the sun flowers.

City Walk, Indoor Rain Forest and Art

I know this isn't a garden I've taken photo's of, but it's outdoors and living in Dubai, being outdoors isn't something anyone does between mid May and Mid October.

City Walk is just up the road from us, off Al Wasl towards Dubai Mall. It's also a short trip on the bus for us. 

I've been up there a few times, but this was the first visit since the new area was opened a few months ago. It's a mixture of indoors and outside dining, shops, activities, open space, water fountains and art.

It was still a bit hot to be walking around in the day in September and despite driving past every day, to and from work, I can't see myself popping in their too much as it's aimed at the high end of the market in regards to it's shops and although it has a large car park, both above and underground, it's not that convenient to stop off at, especially in rush hour an a couple of U turns involved. It is also the  main route to and from the Dubai Mall, which is the largest Mall in the world.

We'll probably visit a bit more in the evenings once winter kicks in, but I imagine it'll be very busy as apart from Box Park there aren't many other shopping and dining areas near us.

 From the car park

 Inside

 One of the many fountains

 Yarn bombing the palm trees

The architecture is stunning.

The views are pretty spectacular too.

 Inside the chocolate factory, we had chocolate butter on our breakfast toast. 

There are some fantastic pieces of art around but no information on what it's all about or who the artist is.

I'm saving my visit to the indoor Rain Forest until my mum visits in November and I'm sure she'll pop up here on the bus on the days we're both working.

My patch of sand in the garden is sadly neglected, we did tidy out the shed over the weekend and recovered the garden tools and pots and located all the packets of seeds. The temperatures are now below 35c in the day and dropping as low as 24c over night so I can begging to plant some seeds now it is cooler for them to start geminating. Last year I did this in June and July as I kept the seedlings indoors, but I spent the summer in the UK and being flat out with work, I just haven't had the time or inclination to be dealing with tidying up the mess.

The school gardening club is going well, this week we experimented with growing cress seeds on different surfaces and talking about what we think will be the best for them to grow on, we also planted sunflower seeds which the children have taken home with them to look after. We have tomatoes and peas growing nicely in pots and the children have enjoyed decorating plant pots, making plant labels and just generally getting their hands in the compost bag.

School Gardening Club in Dubai with HDYGG

Next week I start running the after school gardening club where I teach in Dubai. I'm a keen gardener, but it's all hit and miss. I've successfully grown tomatoes, chillies, herbs, strawberries and peppers, as well as marigolds, petunias, nasturtiums and sweet peas. I've never followed a schedule, just kept an eye on the municipality planting schedule and visited their nurseries out in Warsan last week.

I've a few ideas for the sessions, but at this moment I have no idea of the numbers, the ages, the length of sessions and how long the club will run for, other than assuming till the end of term in December. I've been told I have a budget, but not how much and of course with no idea of the number of children and duration.

I can do all the planning and have a few ideas ready to run for the 1st week, until I know numbers, ages etc, but what I need is an order of planting. It's autumn in Dubai, but temps still in the high 30's and NO rain, so I can't follow a European planting scheme and the seed packets in the garden centre are imported so most, if not all seeds have to be germinated indoors until 30c and planting out isn't always that easy. No one will be around to water over the weekends and I'm not hopeful the other children will not mess with the plants at playtime.

So I'm thinking indoor plants, container vegetables and succulents with a bit of art and creativity thrown in.

If you run a gardening club in your school, particularly in Dubai, I'd love to hear from you to share some of your tips and ideas.

Me and my Abaya. Ramadan Mubarak.

For work it is a requirement I wear loose fitting clothing that cover me from neck, to wrists, to ankles.

I teach in an Arabic school.

I'm struggling to keep cool.

I have a 30 minute drive from home, followed by a 5 minute walk outside, then by the time I return to the car at 3.30pm the temperatures inside are 40c+.

I tend to wear loose fitting trousers from Animal and Pull and Bear are among my favourites and I've bought a couple of light weight cardigans from Cotton On, to cover my arms as I wear vest tops from New Look to avoid too many layers of clothing on my skin.

I own a couple of maxi dresses that I can wear with a cardigan, but for some reason I haven't done so yet.

With the temperatures being in the high 30s and due to get hotter over the coming months, I have to avoid wearing restrictive clothing, tight waistbands and the bane of my life are bra straps.

One of my students gave me my first Abaya today, it is gorgeous. Her Mother had her tailor in Jordan make it for me and had it sent to Dubai. I've considered buying an Abaya, but I didn't feel comfortable choosing one on my own without advise, I didn't want to make a faux par with so many designs and styles to choose from.

It's not the most flattering shape wise, but it's cool and allows me to wear only shorts and t shirt with a sports bra, underneath it. The only problem is I would then be under dressed if I decided to stop off at a mall on the way home, so I've stuck a cardigan and a pair of trousers in the boot of my car, should I need to get changed.

Our expat child. Is he home or on holiday?

The teenage boy is here in Dubai this week for the Easter holidays. He turns 16 next week and on his return to the UK he has his GCSE's lined up ahead of him.

He left South Africa in August 2013 to finish his education in a UK boarding school and comes back for the major holidays. His last trip home was to move with us from South Africa to Dubai in December, but our house wasn't ready, our visa's delayed and furniture in storage so we stayed in a hotel and his older brother joined us.

This is the teens first visit to our new home. He has a bedroom, we've made the bed with his bedding and brought out of storage his personal items, toys, photo's, beach clothing and ornaments. He had seen the house before the repairs had been done and cleaned, but he says it feels like a home, just not his home anymore.

This makes me sad, but I also understand his reasoning. School is where he has his own room, he is fed, his clothes are washed and ironed, his friends are there. His routines, the boarding staff know his preferences as he has grown and matured, they are the ones who parent him these days.

I want his visits home to be enjoyable, I want him to feel like this is his home, I don't want to nag him, but I want to parent him, I want to do some fun things with him, catch up on the missing months. He knows this and prefers to go down the route of parting me with my money and getting the balance right is important.

He needed new clothes, shoes and a suit for his prom, he wangled a new camera bag out of me and endless visits to cafes and restaurants. We've done a few touristy things, a ferry trip, the beach, the Burj Khalifa. We've also played monopoly, trivial pursuits, planted the garden, walked the dog, watched movies.

We have a week left. As a teenager he doesn't want to be out with mum all the time, the activities such as Wild Wadi, SkyDive Dubai all cost a small fortune and he has no one to experience these activities with, no friends here.

We pay school fees, pocket money, flights back to visit us, we aren't on holiday and neither is he really. He's asked if he can have a few days at 'home' just to chill out and relax, which is what he elder brothers did at his age when they lived at home and we were in the UK.

This is his home, it's where his parents are, where we live, work, play. But it's not his home in the conventional way and even if we moved back to the UK, he'd remain in boarding school so not to interrupt a settled routine that is working for him, but at least when he came home he'd have a permanent room and regular stays.

But when he returns to the UK, his things will be packed up, the bedding changed and the room ready for the next visitor.

Homework with teenagers

Homework with teenagers

Let me just say this one thing. Homework should be banned. I am a mother to 5 children and a I’m a teacher; I rarely set homework, research maybe.

The reason being is I am not my children’s teacher when it comes to homework. I learnt maths differently than they did, I had to go to the library to research things and I don’t believe just ‘googling’ something is always accurate.

When the kids come home from school with their home/coursework, the teacher does not provide me with a copy of their aims and objectives for the lesson and kids being kids (well mine anyway) do the absolute minimum necessary to complete their homework.

What is annoying me at the moment is my son’s private school, who we pay to educate him in boarding school and who know we are in the middle of relocating from South Africa to Dubai over Christmas have sent over tonnes of home/coursework for him to complete. Most of it has to be completed online and the hotel wifi isn’t the best in regards to speed for downloading and connectivity.

As with the other children I’m fighting a battle to get this work down, he sits GCSE’s in 2015 then A levels. I had the same battles eith the other children, it hasn’t got any easier, I’m still wondering why I’m paying all this money for my sons education, especially as I only see him 4 times a year maximum and the entire visit each time, I’m nagging him to do homework..

Hubby has a solution he offered to the 15 year old this week, after seeing the pressure I was under that if he passes his GCSE’s to include English and Maths, he’ll buy him an Iphone 6 plus.

Now I wish I’d thought of bribary earlier. It would have saved a lot of hassle.

I get to be a mummy again for 5 weeks

My 15yo son arrived from the UK today and while he thinks he’s on school holidays, then coming to South Africa for holiday, he’s got another thought coming.

I won’t be made to feel guilty for him not living at home anymore, since returning to UK boarding school almost a year ago, because when we lived in the UK he was in boarding school and then we only lived 4 miles away, instead of the 6000 miles we do now.

I last saw him in April for 3 weeks and we toured the UK on bus, coach, train and foot, visiting his siblings. Hubby was also in the UK in May and took him to see family and friends, days out with his siblings and a deep-sea fishing trip. When he came out for Christmas we toured the coast line of South Africa, driving to Durban, down the Wild Coast to Port Elizabeth, the garden route, 5 nights in Cape Town then a drive back through the Karoo with Granny and his older brother.

For this trip we will visit the North Coast, to the beach for a week or so, we have safaris planned as his art course work is focusing on the plight of the Rhino’s and he needs photographs and video footage that he can shoot himself, rather than internet research and library copies. We are also planning a train trip to Cape Town for a few days, just me and him.

But we also have course work, revision to do. His school has emailed a list of what he has to do and they are ensuring he packs his study books in his suitcase. He starts his final year of GCSE’s this September and as the last of 5 children to sit exams I’m really not looking forward to the parenting side of the holiday in regards to home/coursework and revision. Between the 4 boys they know every trick in the book in regards to ‘looking busy, but doing sod all’ but they underestimate my powers as a parent, a teacher and a tutor.

I’m looking forward to being a full time Mummy again, even if it is just for 5 weeks and then the day 15yo returns to the UK, the 22yo and his girlfriend arrive for 2 weeks and that presents a whole different kind of parenting, as he left home aged 18, 3 months before we moved to SA and I’m not used to ‘parenting’ an independent adult.

Children's Homework

But you don't have kids living at home anymore, why are you blogging about homework?

I tutor a 12 year boy in study skills 2 days a week after school. He has the knowledge but like a lot of children his age, he doesn't have the concentration span and is tired after 8 hours at school.

I don't recall homework being this difficult when I was a child, I don't remember my parent's forcing me to do it. Maybe they did, maybe I didn't get any, maybe like most parenting experiences I've just blocked out the pain of persuading and bribing my children to do theirs. Maybe it's just easier when it's 'someone else's child'.

When my eldest now 22 used to get homework, it was paper based, in a world before google, it was reading, spellings and maybe an experiment, it also involved collecting a lot of things to take to school from what I recall of walks in the wood, with plastic bags full of leaves and I remember ageing a document with tea and putting it in the oven to age. We had a gas oven...oh the hysterics. The now 19yo was a pain with homework, never had any, never did any and TBH, I really wasn't that keen on homework anyway.

And then homework changed, it became computer based, google this, google that....and dial up internet, what fun...so I used to write in the homework diary 'no internet access' and no I wasn't prepared to traipse to the local library with 3 kids most days after school.

Homework has changed a lot over the years. I remember being taught in school, copying off the board then tracing or copying a picture from my text book and colouring it in at home.

Last week a mother to a 5 year old tweeted that she, not her daughter had been issued with homework, the reason why it was her homework and not her child's was that it required her to find out the differences between Indian and African Elephants.....now tell me? How is a 5 year old supposed to do that?

This week the 12 year old's homework has 'done my head in' we started with 'write 10 lines about your Easter holiday and translate in Sepedi'.

So the child writes his work out, then pops it into google translate and guess what? Sepedi isn't an option. So what does he do? Nothing, that's what. What do I do? Give me a Sepedi dictionary and tell him he has to use that. Ha, a 12 year old and a dictionary, it just doesn't work. We've had homework in the past on using a dictionary, but it's only been to find the definition of maybe 3-5 words. He wants to download a programme on my laptop, that costs money, when I say no, a full strop begins.

So we get out his Sepedi book and silly me, I assume that there will be work in the book similar to what he's been asked to do for homework, you know, a few clues to key words and sentences, but no, nothing, zilch?

And now he is revising for a Math test tomorrow, no text books, only workbooks that are complete and marked. How do we revise a subject when the answers are there in front of us? Well it's easy, I just do this........

Now how many parents have the time to do that?

The British have messy houses

When we first arrived in South Africa my then 15yo son returned from his first week in school and said a teacher had stated that 'the British have messy houses' my first thought was what right does she have to make judgement like that. My sons reply to the teacher was that 'the British don't employ maids to pick up after them' We don't employ a maid either.

The teacher was welcoming the kids to their new year in school and was going through some 'house keeping' rules. She wanted the kids to treat the classroom as they would their home, keep it clean and tidy.

During my recent tour of the UK around family and friends I've been met at every door with a hug and 'lovely to see you, you look well, come in, kettle is on, let me help you with those bags and please excuse the mess'

Every house I've visited either has kids in it or building work, redecorating etc going on, or a combination of both.

Without meaning to cause any offence, yes British houses are messy, not dirty, just full of clutter, stuff, things and not a maid in sight. They are like this because British houses are smaller than South African ones, smaller rooms, less space for storage, they are like this because there isn't a maid running around behind them, cleaning up.

It's not just the space that helps keeping a house tidy, it's not having kids living at home.

Empty nest syndrome. One week on.

Last Friday night, hubby and I drove home from OR Tambo airport in silence, apart from the occasional sob from me.

We sat in the garden and waited for the BA0034 to fly overhead so we could wave goodbye to the boys as the 14yo returned to school and the 18yo left home to make an application to join the Royal Marines both in the UK.

Saturday I was reduced to tears when my hairdresser asked when the boys leave, again when the neighbour asked if they got off all right and again when I entered their rooms on Sunday.

We were out Monday for the day and as we approached Centurion I automatically reached for my phone to call home to see if the kids wanted to meet us at the local restaurant for dinner, then remembered they weren't here any more.

Tuesday I was distracted with another airport run, this time to see MIL off after her 6 week visit and Wednesday i was in tears again, but this time with frustration as I cleaned and sorted the boys rooms, washed walls that I'd only painted in August when the 14yo left, removed chewing gum from the side of beds and desks and retrieved ALL the missing items.

Thursday I went swimming for the first time since the 18yo left school in November, then I visited 2 of the places I volunteer at. Friday (today) I had physio and a belated Christmas party in a township and this evening I sat and mused over the past week.

We've got 5 kids and all 5 have now left home, every time my emotions have kicked in and I've sobbed for hours and days even.

We're used to the children not being here, to being on our own and at the moment it feels like they're on holiday. I keep reminding myself I'll be in the UK in March/April and it really isn't that long till I see them all again.

But in the meantime I'm focusing on the benefits of them not being here, especially the 18yo.

I went to the cupboard to fetch a clean glass

Discovered there was still coke in the fridge

Ice cream still in the freezer

And I haven't had a full tank of fuel since the 18yo passed his test last February

Don’t feel you fit in, well look around you at all the other misfits.

 

So many blog posts and tweets about not fitting in, my heart could break. Most of these to do with the school gates.

Why do you want to look like the ‘perfect mum’ slim, designer clothing, ballerina daughter and football playing son?

Do you think their life is perfect? Do you think they’re honest with the others? Do you consider their marriage may be unhappy, that everything they own is on credit and every month they worry about getting the house repossessed? Do you assume they own their own house and the cars? They may rent and lease.

Do you not think that they may envy you, your confidence to arrive at school without your make up on and wearing casual clothes while they go to work in a job they hate, are under pressure with, just to keep afloat because they don’t want to appear to be a failure.

You know they way they look at you and you assume their looking down their nose at you, thinking ‘what a failure’ I don’t want to be like that, have you considered they may be thinking. ‘why can’t I be more like that?’ natural, real and just myself.

And while you’re going home after the school run thinking you don’t fit in, did you stop and take in how many other people there were in the playground, like you stood on their own, maybe thinking the same thing, but about you, not the ones you’re aspiring to be like.

I’ve spent years in the school playgrounds, joining the PTA, even running it for 2 years, my school playground has involved 5 primary school playgrounds, 2 at private schools and 1 of those in a different country. Village, town and City schools and do you know what? I never fitted in anywhere. I tried. I failed. And as time went on I actually didn’t care. There may have been some that looked up at me and thought ‘why can’t I be like that, there may have been some that looked at me and thought ‘what a mess’ but do you know what. None of it matters, because your kids leave school, they make their own friends.

Good friends are made through common interests and I’m afraid the fact they you all have children just isn’t enough of a shared interest.