I've been a bit preoccupied over the past 8 weeks after my fathers death and have let an awful lot of things slide. The flat became a dumping ground, it's now clean and tidy and organised,w ashing up to date and the fridge stocked. While I've been sorting mum's paperwork and affairs out I'd let mine slide and I'm spending next week sorting out the stuff I need to do in relation to our UK property, banking and investments and prioritising the teen with his apprenticeship applications which was the initial purpose of my UK visit.
What I haven't let fall by the wayside is keeping up with birthdays and other important events. I have been saddened though by the lack of response I've received from some friends in regards to my dad's death, it takes 2 minutes to send a message on face book to say 'thinking of you' I've managed to pop out and buy a birthday card and send it on time, there's been no condolence card sent or even a message to say 'thanks for the birthday card/letter/gift' I've been particularly upset by the lack of interest from some who I have supported in the past with the loss of their loved ones, people who have lost their parents and even family pets, or have had ill relatives, long term hospital stays or accidents who after the initial 'sorry to hear about your dad' haven't made any further contact.
On a positive though, my friendships with others have developed further, some people I've never met message on a regular basis to let me know they're thinking of me and to ask how I'm doing and to offer words of advice. People who have obviously been or are going through similar, some who have never experienced it. I have 2 close friends who have lost a parent this year. 1 friend lost her mother in January, her father 5 years ago, she has been sorting the same levels of collecting out as I have, the other friend lost her father 2 weeks after mine died. We've been able to support one another though the initial stages and the funerals. My father's cousin's wife died the same week also, their daughter and I have been friends from childhood, we're in touch daily, sharing emotions, experiences, feelings.
I've never lived in the town where my parents now live, I've been here almost 3 months, the first 2 friends above, live here and in a neighbouring town where I did go to school, and when I had children I lived just over the border. I'm making new friends here, chatting with their neighbours, being a regular in the local coffee shop. My friends in Dubai have been in touch and I much as I've loved being around my family here, I do need to go home and return to my life over there, but with a different set of priorities of who matters and who doesn't anymore.
239 Sunday Ice cream
Mum was away for the weekend with my sister, so I tidied and cleaned the flat and had a walk into town, before popping in to visit Thing 1 and Thing 2 for ice cream.
A morning in town with my eldest niece and her family, then sorting papers at mums, collected mini me, my 6 year old niece and baby sat for the evening, putting her to bed and chilling out, waiting for my sister and mum to return from Brighton.
242 Wednesday Creation
243 Thursday Happy
244 Friday Children - finding out about my great great grandparents and their great, great, great, grand children, which would be my children.
Sorted out my old bike at Dad's ended up wheeling it into town to get tyres blown up and chain fixed, then wheeled it up the hill to my mates, where we sat and researched family trees late into the evening, ended up wheeling the bike home as I didn't have working lights.
245 Saturday Calm
On the blog this week:
My Sunday Photo M is for Memories
PoCoLo and TriumphantTales Things to do before you die
