Saturday, 2 September 2017

One Daily Positive - Week 35

I've been a bit preoccupied over the past 8 weeks after my fathers death and have let an awful lot of things slide. The flat became a dumping ground, it's now clean and tidy and organised,w ashing up to date and the fridge stocked. While I've been sorting mum's paperwork and affairs out I'd let mine slide and I'm spending next week sorting out the stuff I need to do in relation to our UK property, banking and investments and prioritising the teen with his apprenticeship applications which was the initial purpose of my UK visit.

What I haven't let fall by the wayside is keeping up with birthdays and other important events. I have been saddened though by the lack of response I've received from some friends in regards to my dad's death, it takes 2 minutes to send a message on face book to say 'thinking of you' I've managed to pop out and buy a birthday card and send it on time, there's been no condolence card sent or even a message to say 'thanks for the birthday card/letter/gift' I've been particularly upset by the lack of interest from some who I have supported in the past with the loss of their loved ones, people who have lost their parents and even family pets, or have had ill relatives, long term hospital stays or accidents who after the initial 'sorry to hear about your dad' haven't made any further contact. 

On a positive though, my friendships with others have developed further, some people I've never met message on a regular basis to let me know they're thinking of me and to ask how I'm doing and to offer words of advice. People who have obviously been or are going through similar, some who have never experienced it. I have 2 close friends who have lost a parent this year. 1 friend lost her mother in January, her father 5 years ago, she has been sorting the same levels of collecting out as I have, the other friend lost her father 2 weeks after mine died. We've been able to support one another though the initial stages and the funerals. My father's cousin's wife died the same week also, their daughter and I have been friends from childhood, we're in touch daily, sharing emotions, experiences, feelings. 

I've never lived in the town where my parents now live, I've been here almost 3 months, the first 2 friends above, live here and in a neighbouring town where I did go to school, and when I had children I lived just over the border. I'm making new friends here, chatting with their neighbours, being a regular in the local coffee shop. My friends in Dubai have been in touch and I much as I've loved being around my family here, I do need to go home and return to my life over there, but with a different set of priorities of who matters and who doesn't anymore.

239 Sunday Ice cream
Mum was away for the weekend with my sister, so I tidied and cleaned the flat and had a walk into town, before popping in to visit Thing 1 and Thing 2 for ice cream.

 240 Monday Bank Holiday Fun
A morning in town with my eldest niece and her family, then sorting papers at mums, collected mini me, my 6 year old niece and baby sat for the evening, putting her to bed and chilling out, waiting for my sister and mum to return from Brighton.

241 Tuesday Sand castle
 Today's photo prompt didn't fit so I made an impromptu visit to mini me's to play with the sea shells I've brought her from my travels around the world.

242 Wednesday Creation
Visited my Aunt in Cwmbran and set off to find my Gran's parents family grave, no headstone, but with help from one of the council workers we were able to locate the plot in Christchurch cemetery.

243 Thursday Happy
Thing 2's 2nd birthday, off to McDonalds at lunch time, followed by a birthday tea and cake.

244 Friday Children - finding out about my great great grandparents and their great, great, great, grand children, which would be my children.
Sorted out my old bike at Dad's ended up wheeling it into town to get tyres blown up and chain fixed, then wheeled it up the hill to my mates, where we sat and researched family trees late into the evening, ended up wheeling the bike home as I didn't have working lights.

245 Saturday Calm
Day spent blogging, drinking coffee, eating chocolate, researching the family tree, off for a bike ride later to mums and will be having an early night.

On the blog this week:

My Sunday Photo M is for Memories
PoCoLo and TriumphantTales Things to do before you die




16 comments:

  1. Always intrigued to hear about family tree things. I've never done ours, but that is only because my brother is really into it and has been doing it for about 30 years. My dad's side seem to alternate between Wales and the Midlands, but I think they settled in different towns to your relatives - the Tredegar area mostly for us. Very disappointing on the friends side of things, although there are clearly some supportive ones amongst the mix. I've needed support this year from friends and for the most part it has been there, but there is one group of friends that I'm not sure I want to see again. I guess it shows you who the real friends are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've always been led to believe my dad's side of the family were from Wales, but turns out apart from my dad, his two brothers, myself and 3 cousins, the rest of the family are from Oxford, Birmingham and Wolverhampton and I'm not actually as Welsh as I thought....lol

      Delete
    2. We were much the same. My brother was tracing back the Welsh branch and then he came across one born in Dudley (just a few miles from where we live now). To be fair I think they came from Wales before that, but they seem to have married a lot of Midlanders.

      Delete
  2. Glad to see you getting the bike sorted, next step riding it :) xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. have ridden it today, got another bike to sort next week for when Peter arrives

      Delete
  3. It's at times like these that you find out about true friends I think. Although life is so hectic I can be more than guilty of not always being there so consistently for friends as I'd like since my son appeared on the scene. Love family history, and something else I haven't done much of over the last 8 years. Must get back into it, it's fascinating isn't it #365

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sadly many of my friends and family have said i have far more glamorous life than they lead, just because i live abroad, which actually isn't the case

      Delete
  4. So sorry to hear about the unsupportive friends. Big life events have a habit of showing people's true colours and changing the way people relate to each other.
    Love all the photos of the little children in your life this week. They must bring you a lot of joy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the little ones have been delightful to be around the past few weeks, so much character and laughter

      Delete
  5. Oh no! That is such a shame about your friends...Times like this really show people's true colours. It looks like you had a good week. Lots of fun and family :D x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's been a great week with the family

      Delete
  6. Firstly, I LOVE your huge collection of sea shells! Beautiful. Secondly, stupid people not bothering to even send a quick text that takes seconds. I am so glad to hear that you do have some people who are supporting you though. Love the big family photo. #365

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i really have been blessed with the family over the past few weeks

      Delete
  7. Family trees are so interesting. But so much work goes into finding out, unless you've got people to ask who know things. Luckily 3 out of 4 grandparents of my family have already been done by others in the family, the 4th was an orphan and we only know about his cousin.

    It's good you've been able to improve some friendships - always helpful if you're also able to support going through similar experiences.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I found a pile of birth and death certificates which was really helpful and enabled me to find out a lot of things without too much searching

      Delete
  8. Such a shame about some of these so called friends not making an effort. It is times like this that do show whos genuine and who's not. As you say it doesn't take long to send a message. Loving all those sea shells!

    ReplyDelete

ShareThis