Let's start with a positive first. I've been ok during lockdown, yes I've had my moments where the day has been too long and I've been lonely, in the first few weeks when the most I could do was have a brief chat with my friend on the doorstep who kindly dropped off dog food and another who gave me a table and chairs for outdoors. But in general life has been much better for me in the UK than it would've been in Dubai. I obviously miss Peter, but with the curfews, needing permission to leave the house and the oppressive summer sun and lack of voice over internet calls, lockdown would've been much tougher for me. I've been able to social distance visit family and have friends round to sit in the garden, had the freedom to use the phone and video calls with family and friends around the world. Birthdays have been unique and special. I've completely redecorated the house and gutted the garden creating a lovely clean space both inside and out to enjoy. I also fully appreciate that I am in a privileged position without having to worry about finances, health and home educating.
They annoy me all the time, I often tweet individuals with what I think about their news coverage. I often get replies or a call out on the TV, the 2 who wind me up the most are Piers Morgan and Kay Burley, I just can't turn the TV off quick enough. What's with the media labelling this weekend 'Super Saturday' and using stock images of people partying and NOT social distancing. What's happened to the Government adverts? They're still needed, a lot of people seem to think that the media are running and controlling this virus and if they say we can celebrate, then we can.
We've been battling with our daughters care home and social services for years, as we're not in the country it's as if we don't count. We find things out from concerned staff, such as issues with the other resident going out throughout lockdown with her father. Apparently a risk assessment was carried out. I put in a phone call to Public Health who reported all guidelines are being followed and Social Services basically said 'yeah they should've involved you in the process' and the care home, said 'If you want to see your daughter you can' However for 12 weeks all they sent me were letters to say 'stay away' Social Services also 'forgot' to send us a copy of her care plan, despite them confirming 'yes we have your contact details'.
I'm also annoyed by some family, friends and neighbours who have pretty much carried on as normal, looking after the grandkids, having their adult children round for Sunday lunch every week, popping out daily to the shops for something to do and who know mine and Peter's situation, that we've been 3000 miles apart for over 3 months and we won't be flying until this virus is under control. I can return to Dubai but may not be able to get back and Peter can come here but with the virus on the rise again, he could get stranded here. He needs to be in Dubai for work, I need to be in the UK for the house and the cat and dog.
Shoddy workmanship is also irritating me. The guttering is still leaking, the tiles in the shower room don't match, we have odd coloured sink, bath, panels and loo in the bathroom. The kettle doesn't fit under the tap and the cold water is pathetically slow in the kitchen. I've spent all of lockdown redecorating and tidying the garden. I was more than happy with the work after seeing how the professionals left it, but now it needs something adding to it, it's all white, it's boring and the garden lacks some bling.
I'm missing my personal belongings. I've the contents of a 1 bed flat in a 6 bed house. I've the contents of two suitcases, 1 summer, 1 winter, it's wear, wash, dry and repeat. I'm down to only 4 pairs of socks and the pant situation is dire. I don't want to buy new because a) I have more than enough stuff in Dubai and b) the virus hasn't gone away and there's no need to be wandering around the shops. Our container should've been shipped in May, Peter should've moved to an apartment also. I should be spending my time sorting through our stuff, finding it a home, making a home.
I don't like lockdown being eased. Well actually, lockdown needs to be eased, people need to get back to work and the economy needs to grow. I just don't like the way a lot of people are going about it. You don't need a holiday, or to drive 50+ miles to the beach or wander round the shops for something to do.
As the restrictions on us are lifted, my anxiety is creeping back in. While we were in lockdown, I only had me to worry about, of course I was concerned about my family with work and everyone in front line and key worker jobs and I did my upmost best to protect them, but I had no external pressures on me. I have no plans to visit the beaches, drive more than an hour outside my area, I'm back to using click and collect for the food shops as there is no social distancing going on inside a lot of supermarkets. I'm not far off actually calling people out on social media for saying one thing, whilst I know they're doing another and most of all I'm sick to death of hearing 'It's for my mental health' in relation to going to bars, restaurants, having hair cuts and booking holidays' Mental Health is a serious matter and there is a huge difference between that and just being a bit down and unhappy because you can't do what you want to do and take for granted.