I don't want celebrities to represent me

I'm really not happy with celebrities experiencing something then telling us all howe to manage it, how to behave, dress, have our hair, what size or how fit we should be etc, etc.

Thanks but my weekends are not spent on TV, I don't live with a hairdresser, know any make up artists, have a stylist to select my clothes and a PR team to ensure everything I do is just perfect for the cameras. 

I made a comment on twitter a few months ago, similar to the one above, and I was blocked by a celebrity.

I'm really glad these celebs have found a way to manage the menopause, have a baby, deal with depression, cook a dinner on a budget, build their own business, find the answer to eternal youth through fitness videos and ever so glad that they share everything they've learnt through their books, tv shows, interviews and columns in the papers, but......

They don't represent me.

Some of the things they talk about I'm sure people can relate to, but I can't. I'm not a size 8, I have no interest in exercising and eating myself healthy and running a marathon at 50. Whilst I've struggled for money in the past it was whilst I was paying for a mortgage, I had no dreams of saving for a holiday or getting bikini fit back when I was 25 and no desire to wear a bikini at the age of 50. Yes I know I can if I want, but I don't feel empowered by putting one on, I feel uncomfortable and it's all well and good telling me I can do whatever I want, I don't want to wear a bikini, discuss my sex life with anyone, think myself fit, learn how to craft, up cycle and/or learn how to blog for a living either.

Therefore I'd appreciate it that whilst some of you are following suit and living life to the large, wearing the bikini, not shaving your underarms, buying all the books, tagging and hash tagging all the celebs, that you'd think twice before offering me their advice on how if I just bought their book or followed them on social media, I'd have so much more understanding of what they're going through and I can relate it to my situation, which I can't, I don't want to and neither do I bloody relate. 

What's annoying me this week

Let's start with a positive first. I've been ok during lockdown, yes I've had my moments where the day has been too long and I've been lonely, in the first few weeks when the most I could do was have a brief chat with my friend on the doorstep who kindly dropped off dog food and another who gave me a table and chairs for outdoors. But in general life has been much better for me in the UK than it would've been in Dubai. I obviously miss Peter, but with the curfews, needing permission to leave the house and the oppressive summer sun and lack of voice over internet calls, lockdown would've been much tougher for me. I've been able to social distance visit family and have friends round to sit in the garden, had the freedom to use the phone and video calls with family and friends around the world. Birthdays have been unique and special. I've completely redecorated the house and gutted the garden creating a lovely clean space both inside and out to enjoy. I also fully appreciate that I am in a privileged position without having to worry about finances, health and home educating.

Media.
They annoy me all the time, I often tweet individuals with what I think about their news coverage. I often get replies or a call out on the TV, the 2 who wind me up the most are Piers Morgan and Kay Burley, I just can't turn the TV off quick enough. What's with the media labelling this weekend 'Super Saturday' and using stock images of people partying and NOT social distancing. What's happened to the Government adverts? They're still needed, a lot of people seem to think that the media are running and controlling this virus and if they say we can celebrate, then we can.

Social Services.
We've been battling with our daughters care home and social services for years, as we're not in the country it's as if we don't count. We find things out from concerned staff, such as issues with the other resident going out throughout lockdown with her father. Apparently a risk assessment was carried out. I put in a phone call to Public Health who reported all guidelines are being followed and Social Services basically said 'yeah they should've involved you in the process' and the care home, said 'If you want to see your daughter you can' However for 12 weeks all they sent me were letters to say 'stay away' Social Services also 'forgot' to send us a copy of her care plan, despite them confirming 'yes we have your contact details'.

People.
I'm also annoyed by some family, friends and neighbours who have pretty much carried on as normal, looking after the grandkids, having their adult children round for Sunday lunch every week, popping out daily to the shops for something to do and who know mine and Peter's situation, that we've been 3000 miles apart for over 3 months and we won't be flying until this virus is under control. I can return to Dubai but may not be able to get back and Peter can come here but with the virus on the rise again, he could get stranded here. He needs to be in Dubai for work, I need to be in the UK for the house and the cat and dog.

Professionals.
Shoddy workmanship is also irritating me. The guttering is still leaking, the tiles in the shower room don't match, we have odd coloured sink, bath, panels and loo in the bathroom. The kettle doesn't fit under the tap and the cold water is pathetically slow in the kitchen. I've spent all of lockdown redecorating and tidying the garden. I was more than happy with the work after seeing how the professionals left it, but now it needs something adding to it, it's all white, it's boring and the garden lacks some bling.

Belongings.
I'm missing my personal belongings. I've the contents of a 1 bed flat in a 6 bed house. I've the contents of two suitcases, 1 summer, 1 winter, it's wear, wash, dry and repeat. I'm down to only 4 pairs of socks and the pant situation is dire. I don't want to buy new because a) I have more than enough stuff in Dubai and b) the virus hasn't gone away and there's no need to be wandering around the shops. Our container should've been shipped in May, Peter should've moved to an apartment also. I should be spending my time sorting through our stuff, finding it a home, making a home.

Covid-19.
I don't like lockdown being eased. Well actually, lockdown needs to be eased, people need to get back to work and the economy needs to grow. I just don't like the way a lot of people are going about it. You don't need a holiday, or to drive 50+ miles to the beach or wander round the shops for something to do.

As the restrictions on us are lifted, my anxiety is creeping back in. While we were in lockdown, I only had me to worry about, of course I was concerned about my family with work and everyone in front line and key worker jobs and I did my upmost best to protect them, but I had no external pressures on me. I have no plans to visit the beaches, drive more than an hour outside my area, I'm back to using click and collect for the food shops as there is no social distancing going on inside a lot of supermarkets. I'm not far off actually calling people out on social media for saying one thing, whilst I know they're doing another and most of all I'm sick to death of hearing 'It's for my mental health' in relation to going to bars, restaurants, having hair cuts and booking holidays' Mental Health is a serious matter and there is a huge difference between that and just being a bit down and unhappy because you can't do what you want to do and take for granted.

How safe is it where you live?

I wrote a blog post a few weeks ago ‘How safe is South Africa’ and I’ve been thinking about it and realised that it should’ve been entitled ‘How safe is Gauteng?’

We’ve just returned from a 17 day road trip from Centurion to Cape Town, via Durban, The Wild Coast, The Garden Route, Cape Town and back to Centurion via the Karoo.

We receive and entertain many visitors, family, friends and colleagues and I’m sure they all think we’re being over dramatic with our instructions/orders on the do’s and dont’s of life here.

A twitter friend who I’ve met and reads my blog asked me to give his parents a few pointers about their upcoming holiday here and my mind went into over drive with the do’s and don’ts till I found out their trip is to Cape Town and the Garden Route only. My advice was to enjoy their holiday and treat the trip in the same way they would when going anywhere on holiday. 

On our journey to Durban, slowly the security disappears, there were still security estates and individual security around houses, but not as evident as it is up here. By the time we arrived in Addo, North West of Port Elizabeth almost all signs of personal security had disappeared.

We drove through Mthatha in the Eastern Cape, it appeared that every man, woman, child and goat was out in the town that day, endless queues at the fuel stops for the bathroom and not once did I consider my personal safety. The biggest risk came from hitting a pot hole or a cow whilst driving. None of the places we stayed in had any kind of security other than maybe a fence to keep the wildlife out, even staying in the middle of the Karoo on our journey home.

South Africa has bad press and most of it with good reason, but it doesn't mean to say it's all bad and like everywhere you go on holiday you should always exercise care and caution. You wouldn't leave your door unlocked while you popped to the corner shop, so why would you do that on holiday? You wouldn't leave your front door open at home for some fresh air while you slept at night, so why would you do that on holiday?

Few people who arrive at OR Tambo, unless they live or have family or business here, just wander out the door with no idea of where they're going or staying, usually met by a tour guide, on a package holiday with a full itinerary scheduled. More people should come here, book their accommodation, hire a car and explore this beautiful country.

Touting for sponsored posts for #britmumslive

I'm new to all of this, well I've been blogging since October 2009 and with an average of 6000+ hits per month I'm obviously doing something right. I don't go looking for things, they come and find me.

This year I've decided to attend Britmums Live on June 21-22nd. I want to learn more about blogging, no follow links (should I ever get anything to review) Raising my profile and awareness of adults with disabilities in South Africa, meeting and sharing expat experiences with the aim to support others taking the first and very difficult steps. Support groups for when you're children leave home, as mine is doing in September to return to UK boarding school and the depression that comes with dealing with all of this.

So what I need is a start, a push, someone who knows what they're doing and is willing to mentor me down the difficult route of touting/begging for further help.

Can you RT the tweet with link, share this post, actually sponsor me, offer me support and guidance on how to word these things correctly?

Here's what I've written to date. I will tailor it to individual companies, but if you have any contacts that you're willing to share, please let me know.

Gratefully yours

Suzanne

I’m a British expat living with two teenage sons in South Africa since 2011. I travel to the UK on a regular basis to visit parents and adult children. I also take the opportunity to visit friends and my destinations are Bath (Mother in Law) Monmouth (Parents) Gloucester (Step children: Son aged 24, Disabled daughter, aged 25) Leeds (Son aged 21) Leamington Spa, St Albans and various locations in London. This trip has also involved two camping trips to Devon (friends) and Cornwall (MIL)

Future travel will include UK trip in September to settle son into boarding. Camping with pets and Kruger National Park. Climbing Kilimanjaro to raise funds for adults with disabilities in South Africa.

Whilst travelling I tweet as @chickenruby with 2225 followers and I blog over at http://www.chickenruby.com with, according to Stats, 6000+ hits per month.

I blog about:

·         Life as an expat, from saying goodbye to purchasing a car, with hints and tips.

·         Raising teenagers from buying condoms to relocating youngest back in the UK education system and full time boarding.

·         Fundraising for Adults with disabilities in South Africa

·         Depression

·         Dealing with the unexpected

·         Disability

·         Fundraising and supporting www.kwo.org.za and www.santashoebox.co.za

I am a featured blogger over at Internations, Expatsblog.com, Mumsnet, Netmums, Britmums. I have written articles for Mark Warner on holidaying with teenagers (published soon) Currencies Direct on purchasing a car as an expat (published soon) and featured on the expat HSBC top 5 tips on dealing with depression.

I am currently in the UK to evict tenants from our family home, find a suitable boarding school that supports dyslexia for my 14 year old son and to attend Britmums live 21^st-22^nd June. BritMums Live will attract 500 attendees and is the only conference dedicated entirely to the parent blogging audience of more than 4k influential and engaged bloggers

I will and have been blogging and tweeting about my experiences and adventures since arriving in the UK May 22^nd. I have an open ticket to return with Emirates Airlines as soon as the necessary repairs have been completed to my property.

What I am looking for is a sponsor for the following and products to review. In exchange I will advertise your company/organization at Britmums Live. I will tweet and blog with follow links, where appropriate, on my website. I do accept guest posts but only with personal experiences and I have guest posted for various bloggers.

Please let me know what you would be interested in helping me with.

Monetary

Britmums ticket                                  £ 80

Train travel                                         £150

Additional luggage to take hand made hats, scarves and donations to www.kwo.org.za for adults and children with disabilities in South Africa. Cost unknown

Food and drink for rest of duration and stay whilst travelling approximately £10 per day

Hotel in London 2 nights                     £160

Products

Outfit for Britmums inc printing        £100

Painting and decorating supplies

Carpet cleaner

Dry cleaning for curtains

 

                                               

 

 

Lets talk about sex

The reality of Sex

Why is it never like it is in the movies?

Probably a lot to do with how the media portrays the ‘perfect lifestyle’ career, the perfect marriage, wonderful home and the most amazing kids, through newspapers, advertisements etc.

I also hold writers responsible. You know the ones that write the Chick Lits, screen writers for movies.

Picture a typical romantic film or even an action one. You know where after the good guy saves the world and gets the girl? They’re hardly through the door and they’re ripping one anothers clothes off and having sex against the wall in the hallway, him holding her off the ground. Cut to next scene and they’re lying in bed, perfect hair and make up, his wounds have healed and wrapped seductively in a sheet.

Now I know there is poetic licence used here, but come on, has that really ever happened?

In reality its arrive home after a days work, collected the kids from wherever, a boot full of shopping. This mornings breakfast dishes to be sorted, shopping to be put away, kids homework to do, arguments, dinner and plonked down in front of the telly around 9pm absolutely knackered, feeling like you have just saved the world and the fateful words ‘Early night love?’ or ‘ you having a shower/bath before bed’

And what happens next is nothing like the movies. After a typical day there is no way you can get on with it without a shower, there is never a piece of furniture strong enough for him to prop you on, as there is no way he can lift you off the ground like that. There is washing over the bed, you’re lying on the remote, getting tangled up in the bed sheets, pillows piled high, toppling on your head, ignoring the TV on in the background, ‘did you lock the door?’ ‘Is that one of the kids on the landing?’

And as for the morning, there is no crisp sheet wrapped round you, you’ve either already put your PJs back on or just pulled them up, your hair is a mess, your make up is everywhere. There’s a child knocking on your door for their breakfast.

There is no loving smile and breakfast in bed and the conversation goes like this.

‘Eugh, go clean your teeth’

‘Why do I always sleep on the wet patch?’

Why kids are never satisifed...I blame the media

My kids still don’t know what’s hit them. They used to share me with 3 older siblings, my work, and my studies. And now that the youngest 2 aged 13 and 17 have me all to themselves, every day after school, all weekend, all the school holidays.
We had a good life in the UK, we rent out our 6 bed house in Malvern, hubby had a company car, I had a jeep, kids were in private school, life was more than comfortable, we had foreign holidays, and we didn’t go without.


Here in South Africa we took a step or two back for the first year and at the end of year 2 we've caught back up. We rent a 4 bed house, hubby still has a company car, I bought another jeep, the kids are in private school, but there the similarity ends. We are still comfortable; our foreign holidays are in the UK, we don’t go without.....
...but we’ve jumped into a whole other league, the sun shines daily, we have a pool, we have the most amazing scenery and wildlife literally on our doorstep.


And do our kids want more? they’re not selfish, they’re not unrealistic, but the neighbours drive Ferraris, Lamborghinis, the kids have drivers to take them to school/cinema/to friends, they have golf carts, wear designer gear, have maids and gardeners, kids have ipads, iphones, i,i,i,i...... they spend their weekends at Sun City, holidays on private game reserves in their lodges in Kruger.
My kids know they can’t compete and for the first time in their lives it doesn’t bother them, they both appreciate having me around, they appreciate the opportunities that living abroad bring them.


What stops them feeling the need to compete, to want more? They don’t have the pressure like they did in the UK from the media, their peer groups and their friends.