Peter came home on Thursday. I need him back now, but I also needed this time on my own. I'm the person everyone turns to for support and I just couldn't be it. Everyone asks me how Peter is. no one phoned him and asked me, it was my responsibility and I just didn't have the energy. Not to care for him, but to be responsible for him. What about me? Peter knew this, his trip was already booked, he needed some face to face time with people. I've seen someone everyday apart from last Saturday, but it was good to be on my own, it had to happen at some point.
I haven't had access to my classroom this week due to language oral exams, I've just taken my students to the library or into their lessons, it's been fine, however others have worried about me not having had things put into place and the that stressed me out. no one did anything because they didn't know I'd be back and I've had more important things to worry about and things like this don't worry me. There is only me in my department, I just don't understand why others are stressing over things that they don't need to be involved with, even when I say I'm fine.
I've had video calls from child 4 and grandson almost daily. Grandson who is 3 asks me to go to his room to play Paw Patrol with him. I play with the toys and he tells me what to do and where to put them. it's funny 'Granny, go upstairs and play Paw Patrol for me' He can't wait for his visit next month to play with them himself.
323 Monday I was awake at 4am. By 7.15am I'd walked the dog and was ready for work, so I went to caffe Neros and had a coffee and read my book. Work was Ok, but I found myself upset midmorning and just wanted to be somewhere on my own. I had some planning time, but my classroom was being used for oral exams for Spanish and French so I was in the staffroom and library. I did nothing all evening. Just sat for several hours, didn't even turn the TV on.
324 Tuesday Woke to heavy snow which kept up for most of the day. I struggled to leave the house this morning. Work was hard, I was very emotional. When I'm with students I'm OK, my mind is focused. After work, I collected Bailey and walked to the retail park to meet my ex student and her mum. They talked about their upcoming holiday next week and it was good to hear their excitement.I still didn't physically feel right. A more productive evening with washing and a tidy round.
325 Wednesday I was able to make it into work on time having woken at 6.50am, however I did have to clean up after Bailey and take her for a walk, then straight out the door into work. Home to more mess in the kitchen and another walk, then out for a food shop, more mess in the kitchen and a chewed t towel. Bailey and Iw walked back down to the retail park to meet a friend for coffee. Home for a bath, watch TV, walk Bailey and bed at 11pm.
326 Thursday I had the day off work as I had my gallbladder scan in the morning followed by therapy. Going into a hospital is quite traumatic for me at the moment. Peter home 4pm. We had a take away for dinner and I introduced him to I'm a Celeb.
327 Friday Work for the morning, then the afternoon and evening spent at home. Email from HR about hours and sick pay and next meeting date. No 'how are you?'
328 Saturday I was awake at 2 and 6am then back to sleep till 9am. We went into Worcester mid morning. I'm really struggling to leave the house, once I'm out I'm ok for a couple of hours, but when I need to go home, I just need to go.
329 Sunday Laylocks Garden Centre with work colleagues for breakfast from 10am till 1pm. Home and very unsettled. I went out again at 3pm for a coffee and to read my book. At 5pm I was in bed for an hours sleep. Watched TV, walked Bailey, bath and bed.
Books read this week: Welcome to Ferry Lane Market - Nicola May
Words written towards book: 0
Clothes bought: Dry Robe Fleece lined waterproof walking trousers Walking socks - Mountain Warehouse £91.
On the blog this week: Introducing Bailey the Spaniel
Things that made me happy this week:
Playing Paw Patrol with my grandson over a video call, unexpected snow and snowman coffee.
You don't know me, but I'm holding you in the light. My grandson was in lockdown at that age and I had to build a Brio train track while he did the sameaatin his bedroom and then we could compare.
ReplyDeleteLockdown feels so long ago now, I'd forgotten I'd done similar with granddaughter during that and when we lived abroad
DeleteHow lovely to have Peter back home and the video calls from your grandson sound wonderful. It sounds like Bailey is keeping you busy. Sending love and hugs. x
ReplyDeleteI love the video calls with the grandkids
DeleteIt’s hard when you’re the one that everyone asks questions of. I’m glad that having that time of your own was a good thing. I love that you play with your grandson’s Paw Patrol toys over video calls with him. Hope all went well with your gallbladder scan. I can well imagine how hard going into hospital is at the moment – I really struggled with having to go back to the same hospital for my antenatal appointments after Jessica died. The snow looks so pretty – we had some big flakes falling but nothing settled. #project365
ReplyDeleteGosh antenatal appointments at the same hospital must've been so hard for you and the family, I've no idea how you managed. Gallbladder seems to be settling with eating the right foods, but I can't put it off forever.
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