It feels as
if your kids are little forever and then all of a sudden without you realising
it, they’re all grown up.
There comes
a time when you can’t blog about them or post photos online because they are
grown up and they have a say in how their lives are run.
When your
kids are little (I’ve got 5) you look at older kids and hear their parents
complain and you can never imagine your kids being like that, answering back,
wearing clothes you don’t approve of, make up, have unsuitable friends and then
you remember being a teen yourself but it’s only when your kids reach their
teens that you really remember what it is like.
As a parent
you have lots of hopes/dreams and visions for their future, your future. You
relish the forthcoming freedom of nights out without baby sitters. You have
moments where you don’t think they need you anymore. More moments where they
don’t think they need you. They make their own decisions, friends, they refuse
to wear the clothes you buy them, the bedtime routine is forever a battle,
screen time, phone bills, using your car, waiting up all night for them to come
home. But they never stop needing you, just their needs change.
You know one
day that they’ll leave home, they go slowly over a period of time, staying out
with mates, going to college, Uni. They get girlfriends/boyfriends.
You worry
they’ll get pregnant before they’re ready to become a parent. You give them the
talk, advice.
You’ll think
you’ve prepared them, that you have an open relationship with them, and that
they’ll talk to you if there are any problems. You hope they’ll act
responsibly.
There was a
discussion on twitter about Thorpe Park selling condoms, on the shelf amongst
the sweets and the concerns of encouraging young people to have sex before
they’re ready, of having to explain to younger children what they are when
asked and the difficulty of explaining sex in public to a child that isn’t the
right age to be learning these things.
But I’m a
believer in answering children’s questions at whatever age, although I agree
that the location and/or timing may not be right. I also don’t believe that a
child being able to buy a condom will encourage them to have sex. I’d rather if
my child thought about having sex they were able to buy the condom without
having to search for it, ask for it as that is more likely to cause them embarrassment
and just not to use one. I know that people say if a child is embarrassed to
buy a condom then they’re not mature enough to have sex, but come on…real world
people it happens. What you do in private you don’t necessarily want anyone
else to know what you’ve got planned do you?
So when my
kids reached around the age of 15 and/or had girlfriends that they spent most
of their time with, I bought condoms and left them in their rooms. Yes the
younger kids found them, yes they blew them up and made water bombs (expensive
exercise) yes they giggled over them and teased their older siblings. But so
far no one has knocked on my door telling me their daughter is pregnant, boys
are 23, 21, 18 & 14
