Sunday, 13 January 2013
When did your child fully understand sex?
Last night my youngest was giggling his head off over a picture he had found of 2 giraffes mating, he'd been online googling stuff. He'd also been in the (almost) 18yo's room and had already told on him for putting semi naked pictures of girls on his bedroom wall, he thought it may upset any visitors, especially girls. Hubby was more concerned about the marks left from the blue tack.
My youngest is 13, youngest of 4 boys, so the magic (lies) about father christmas and the tooth fairy were over a long time ago, around the same age that he started to learn and use swear words taught to him by his older brothers and his Mother (me) as after raising 4 boys all different in their needs and personalities got too much.
For a good few years he's been giggling if me and hubby kiss (even a peck on the cheek) pretended not to be watching something on the TV if it was 'rude' made inappropriate comments to his brothers when they've had girlfriends and was probably 9 the last time I could walk into the bathroom room without him covering his bits and yelling at me to 'get out'.
But I think now at 13 (14 in April) he has finally 'got it' and understands it all. There is a processing time that has been evident before, a giggle, followed by '(insert name) stop talking about it' Discretley walking out the room when sex scenes are on the telly. He knocks on the bedroom door and yells 'are you decent?' and actully waits before charging in.
Last night we were all sitting outside, a modern family, each on our own tabs when he suggested I have another baby to keep me company when he leaves home, he then looked up and said 'but that would mean you'd have to have sex' I told him that people can have sex without making babies and he asked how? Hubby took over the conversation at this point and told him about contraception for both men and women and how condoms also prevent sexual diseases. There was no silliness from either party, just a straight forward conversation, but as he left Hubby said to him, 'any further questions just ask, don't go googling it'
What made me realise that it had finally dawned on him, was the trip to Kruger Park in September when we came across the Hippos 'doing it'
How old was your child when they understood what it was all about? Not just the facts? Can you remember how old you were? I can't. I was always saying the wrong thing, even asked a boy once when I was 14 if 'he'd have it off with me at the Disco' I of course meant 'get off with me'
Posted by chickenruby at 13:47:00
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We have always been open and honest with our children regarding sex. Both my husband and I wanted to do the opposite of what our parents taught us, which was nothing. What I learned was in school and from friends, sex was not to be spoken about at home.ReplyDelete
I'm not sure if you ever read my post regarding dinner time conversation at my house, but it tells you explicitly that no topic is untouched. http://catherineburden.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/dinner-time-conversation-at-my-house/
Oh I've read that, made me laughDelete
FULLY UNDERSTAND? what does that mean? I'm not sure I 'fully' understand it! If you mean when did DD realise how babies were made, how you could stop them being made and that you might want to have sex just for fun...erm about 5 *shrug* hard to tell really - she has known about sex since she started to look at picture books, she has always been obsessed with babies.ReplyDelete
She had a copy of Babette Cole's 'Mummy Laid an Egg' when she was about 3 I think. And of course girls need explanations re periods etc that you can get away with delaying for a boy.
At about 8 we got a copy of 'Hair in Funny Places' which even covers wet dreams...which is nice.
DD is now 13 and I think she'd struggle to date a time she knew all about it tbh. She famously told girls at school when she was 5 that belly buttons played no part and that girls have a special hole! LOL
I think what I'm trying to say here, is the day it was all put together and was treated seriouslyDelete
Mine have yet to work it out being only 9 and 6 but they see the chickens and have seen the dogs and generally get the picture they giggle an awful lot about it though esp if they see Mum and Dad kiss but I think the youngest has no idea what he is giggling about and for a time I hope that lasts!ReplyDelete
Like I said above I think it's more about when the penny drops...youngest has jsut realised that humans actually 'do it' for pleasure and not just to have babies as he had always thought.Delete