Depending on what you google, you either find the number of stay at home mums has increased by a million or decreased for the first time in 20 years. However the actual figures don't really matter, this isn't the purpose of the post. All that matters is that each mother, does what is best for their family, their relationship and their child/ren.
While some parents relish being a SAHM, some resent it, some can afford it, some are ill, some are caring for sick children, some have a dream of what being a SAHM is, some change their minds, some find themselves in the situation with no firm plans, others choose this path.
My mother was a SAHM, however 47 years ago she didn't have a label. My Gran was also a SAHM to my father and his 2 brothers, but she looking in washing and ironing to help with the family budget. I was a SAHM sometimes and in full time work also, but I too never had a label.
The phrase SAHM came into use in the mid 80's and was more widely used in the 90's but I'm guessing until the invention of Social Media hitting the masses, it wasn't really that popular. We were house wives, or home makers. When I lived in South Africa, my visa read 'Home Executive' in Dubai it reads 'House Wife'
I hate labels, I've written about 'why I don't like labels' many times. Labels are used to judge individuals, often before you first meet them, however I've never seen 'SAHM' as a drop down box on a form.
Each week I link up with #pocolo where one of the hosts Morgan discussed 'Why we shouldn't be ashamed to be a SAHM'
'I have been a stay-at-home mum for 14 years and in that time I've spent a lot of days feeling inadequate and unworthy 😩. Society has led me to believe I don't do anything that's worthy of praise and that I should go out and get a job as soon as possible. A job in which I can demand equal pay and show that I am a strong woman who is capable of anything a man is.'
Morgan goes on to discuss the issues that SAHM's face from various areas of society, where and what they are judged on and how she deals with this, not justifying her situation, not defending her choice to be a SAHM, just explaining why it is the right choice for her and her family and she certainly doesn't judge others for their choices on not being a SAHM.
What I don't get is why Morgan needs to explain herself, why I've needed to explain myself. Why anyone has to defend themselves from others who don't think being a SAHM is a worthy role in life? Morgan's post has been refreshing, it is one of the few posts I've read that hasn't attacked others for their choice of life.
I have no idea why people feel the need to judge SAHM's. I'm sure there are plenty of SAHM's though that judge those who go out to work also, but it would seem since the intervention of the internet and having a screen to sit behind, that for some reason people feel the need to share their thoughts on subjects more freely and with a wider audience than previously.
I steer clear of the media, ironic you think as you read this post I've written online. I take everything I read with a pinch of salt and before I pass comment I do further research which does not include wikipedia.
We can't help form an image of what certain people are like, photos and blog posts are often highly edited, they provide a snap shot of a moment in time and often don't reflect the bigger picture.
I'm a twice married Mother of 3, mum to 5. My husband is 14 years older than me. I'm a SAH, I'm an expat, my kids went to boarding school. If you haven't met me, you'll be forming an opinion making a judgment on my lifestyle. If you have meet me, apart from being a mum to 5 adult kids, you would never know what else I did unless I told you.
Give people a chance, get to know them and as with all forms of social media, if you don't like what you're reading, don't judge, just scroll on past.