Sunday 11 October 2020

Being comfortable in your own skin

This post is in partnership with We Love Dates. All content is as always, my own.

As a teen I didn't feel I fitted in.I didn't really have a style. I dyed my hair blue, had waist length hair extensions, shaved my head, played the clarinet and was very much into sports. I became a mum at 20 had 2 more children then remarried at 28 and inherited 2 step children, there really wasn't a lot of time to be just me. Around this time I stopped dying my hair crazy colours also.

Aged 19

At 39 I became an expat and lost a bit of my identity when I gave up my job and we moved thousands of miles away from everything and everyone I knew. Then came empty nest with the last child leaving home and 3 years ago my father died and everything changed again.

In September 2019 we became grandparents and in December 2019 for reasons out of our control I relocated to the UK to our former family home with our cat and dog, the covid hit and all the plans just went out the window.

I'm used to spending lots of time on my own, but with covid and 3 periods of self isolation after travelling back and forth to visit my husband after a 4 month period of separation, I've been learning to be gentler on myself, not stressing over things out of my control, sort out my health, my sleep and pace myself with finishing the repairs needed to our family home.

I make sure I get up, showered and dressed every morning. I'm trying to take care of my nails without my usual visits to the nail bar. I follow a skin care routine, but don't think I've worn make up more than a handful of times since lockdown began in March.

I'd love to tell you that I'm learning to love myself, that I've always kept my life real, but the reality is I do have insecurities but I'm no longer worrying about what others think of me. I've been fortunate that my weight has been stable throughout my life, but it does fluctuate between 68 - 72 kg. I reached the upper end after my last trip to Dubai. I am happier at the lower end, because my clothes fit better and are more comfortable.

Like I'm learning to love myself unconditionally. I don't edit or filter my pictures, however sometime I will take lots of selfies before choosing one I'm happy with to post online. 

Australia July 2019

About 4 years ago I had my hair dyed grey for a photo shoot in a National newspaper, I decided to embrace my grey roots and to let my hair just grow out naturally.

Dubai February 2020

I love the colour, but I'm never happy with the length, too short, too long. But that's half the fun of hair, you can chop and change it around, hence the purple.

UK October 2020

Despite spending a lot of time on my own during covid, I am married to Peter and we celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary later this month, not together though, we keep our relationship alive with video chats several times a day. Peter is my best friend and my closest confident, he is also my biggest critic if asked and is very honest with his responses. I once asked him how I looked, just as we were going out the door and he said 'if it's looking like a pirate, then you've nailed it' I changed out of my red jeans and black knee length boots fairly quickly.

Peter and I met through work, 21 years ago. I've never used dating sites or been fixed up through friends but I have many friends and family who have met their partner online.

How do you feel about living an unfiltered life? 

Do you worry about what people say about you? How you look? 

Do you base that on how you look at others? 

Have you met your partner through an online dating site? You can check out free dating if you're interested.

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