I read a lot on the internet about Third Culture Kids, TCK
from both the TCK and the parents. I read a lot on the internet from adults
about their TCK experiences, but what I don’t read about is the tranisition
period and what actually happens when you arrive in a new country as a
child and the tranisition into adult hood back to your country of birth.
As expats who moved to South Africa in January 2011 with 2
children then aged 11 & 15 we never gave any consideration to what would
actually happen to the children when they became adults and had to return to
the UK.
The move was a stressful period in all our lives, no company
support or help, despite the promises, but that only became evident on our
actual arrival.
Rather foolishily, in hindsight, we trusted HR to have done
their job, done research and to have consulted with the professionals prior to
our arrival.
We had to have student visas in place for the children prior
to their arrival and after supplying the relevant documents in regards to the
youngests SENs and the new school requesting he sat an entrance test and
information supplied to us that they would be attending an English school,
visas were issued and 2 days after our arrival the children were in their new
schools.
It became clear that towards the end of the first year that
the youngest child was struggling in school, but as he was due a move into the
senior school and after meetings with the staff it appeared to be ok, towards
the end of the second year, I discovered that although they accepted he was
dyslexic and provided additional support in the form of a reader and a scribe
for tests and end of year exams they were not providing learning support during lessons. Then
to our alarm they showed us a document from the company to say we would only be
in the country for 2 years and therefore they hadn’t really been doing anything
to support the youngest, despite us seeing the Ed Psych for a South African
assessment who also diagnosed Dysgraphia, as well as being Dyslexic and
we also obtained new Irlen glasses for him.
A very quick decision was made for him to return to the UK
to boarding school so he could get the right level of support and follow the
British Curriculum.
In the mean time the 15 yo was coming on in leaps and
bounds. We left the UK 5 months prior to him sitting his GCSEs. We did consider
delaying the move to accommodate him, but to be honest and this is something he
admits he was aware of at the time, was that he was unlikely to get the grades
he needed for further education. His behaviour improved and his attitude to
study did also. He still ran with the in crowd, he was very popular and made 1st
team cricket and rugby and played football with TUKS for the first 18 months.
Socially, the expat experience has made the biggest impact
on the eldest and he has taken so much away with him from South Africa which he
can use in his future, but it has left him at the age of approaching 20,
without any formal qualifications in the UK.
With the school year starting in January, our son was 4
weeks short of his 19th birthday in December 2013 when he
matriculated and due to his student visa expiring in January 2014 it was
decided he would return to the UK. We couldn’t
guarantee we would stay in South Africa for the next 4 years for him to
complete Varsity and with the new changes to the laws in regards to foreign
workers, it was the right decision as we are moving to Dubai within the next 3
months.
When our son aged 19 returned to the UK, he was an adult, no
longer a child, he returned to live with family members while he submitted job applications, but we didn’t anticipate the hassles he’d have with returning as
an adult, he had no NI number which took 8 weeks to apply for, I had to locate a
child benefit number, which we’d stopped claiming when we left the UK. He had
no bank account, no previous UK address, no utility bills, no evidence of him
having lived in the UK as an adult. He was able to surrender his South African
driving license for a fee and exchange it for a UK one, which gave him proof of address.
His interviews for the job he wants to do didn’t start until April
2014, so he
returned to South Africa for a month before the next round of interviews in August.
Having done some research his matric is equivalent to A/S
levels, it doesn’t translate into GCSEs without having it converted which will
take another month or so, he would then have to obtain 3 A levels, which would
take him another 2 years and would have to start now, meaning he would be
nearly 22 before he could start a degree and he feels that he’s wasted this
year already and just wants to get on with life.
In hindsight he should’ve completed his GCSE’s in the UK
then followed the British Curriculum here for his last 2 years at school and
sat A levels, then he could’ve returned to the UK at the same time, ready to
make his application and would be starting University now.
My husbands company moved us a family to South Africa and
left us to our own devices, as a teacher in the UK, I had knowledge how the
education system and everything else works over there, I had no knowledge of
how it worked here. We made mistakes because we didn’t know what questions we
needed to ask, the youngest child is now sorted, his education won’t suffer
from his experiences as an expat, TCK, child, but the eldest has.
The only thing that South Africa has shown the eldest child
is that if you want to succeed it is all down to you.
I would like to advise all other expats with teenage
children to carefully consider the implications of what happens to their child
when they become an adult, especially in countries where obtaining work is
almost impossible for a foreigner, what can happen to their child when they
become an adult and have to return to their home country and the difficulties
of doing so with foreign qualifications.
