Word of the Week - Brighter

It's not rained for 5 days and I've not worn a coat for 3 days, although I have taken a coat with me and left it in the car, just in case.

It's still been a little chilly, but I'm indoors most of the day and it's been manageable.

Things have been looking brighter this week. Not just the weather but me as well. Work has been much improved, far less stressful and so far only one stray object has hit me, which was a deflection and so far I've just been called a 'crap teacher' no F bombs, no fights and quite a bit of cooperation from some students who previously have shown very little respect for themselves let alone anyone else.

I went to Birmingham on Monday after work and wore my normal winter coat rather than my dry robe, which has now gone up in the wardrobe in the loft, leaving so much more space in the downstairs loo.

Peter spent 3 days cleaning the patio area, it was full of debris and spiders webs and I'll be spending Sunday putting it back together.

The pots will be moved into their new positions and I'm looking forward to replanting the herbs that have survived the winter under the cloches and sowing some seeds ready to plant out in these beds once they've been weeded and compost from the bins has been dug in.

I'm back out running, no where near as far as I should be considering in just over 5 weeks I'm running a marathon. We've been walking the Malvern Hills after work as it's light enough for a stroll followed by a coffee after work.

I don't actually mind the winter, the cold and the dark evenings, it's the rain and ill health that has caused me the biggest problems, getting out and about. Picking a marathon date for April wasn't my smartest move for someone who hasn't run before with only 26 weeks to train to run 26 miles, but I'm getting there. 

I'll be running longer distances over the next few weeks now the ground is drying up and it's lighter as Malvern isn't the latest of places and a lot of my running route options involve fields which have been waterlogged up to now or industrial areas which I haven't considered safe to run on my own in the dark.

I haven't done half the jobs in the house I promised myself I would do over the winter and most of that is due to being the only one who wants to get anything done. I find I work much better if I'm on my own and I'll have a splurge over the next two weeks while Peter is away in Turkey visiting his friend.

Whilst the sun isn't necessarily shining every day, it's not raining, it's getting darker later, it's definitely warming up. More places are opening up and opening hours are extending. I've a couple of camping trips booked, some park runs lined up and several football matches to look forward to before the end of March.

The Easter holidays are on the horizon and then the summer and more of the above. So it's all looking brighter, all round.

Post Comment Love. 29th April - 2nd May

Welcome back to #Pocolo with Stephanie from Lifeat139 and I where we host a weekly post where you can link up with any post, on any subject, you've written this week.

Hope you've all had a good Easter, Ramadan and a blessed Eid Al Fitr.

We were away in West Wales for 5 nights with the dog. Have you been to this part of the world? Did you go away for the Easter break.

I've been back in school for 4 days and have Monday off for the bank holiday, then just over 3 weeks till the half term holidays and we'll be off to explore the Yorkshire coast. 

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Week 15 One Daily Positive and Project365. Our Grandson came to stay.

It has been a long and busy week, full of family, grandchildren and visits and ended up with us braving the Easter traffic to drive to West Wales for a short break, leaving the cat under the care of the neighbours and taking the dog with us. 

I haven't blogged this week, but I've had a lot of food for thought. Some of it I won't be blogging about as it's not about me, or it will effect the relationships I have with others. It's so frustrating to have so many real life family/friends reading my thoughts without worrying about the negative feedback.

99 Saturday Day spent food shopping, dog walking and coffee drinking. I prepared the Easter Gifts for the small people and baked some cakes and made chocolate moulds. There was some cleaning to do and general prep for Grandson's arrival.

100 Sunday Peter played golf and I ran round making beds and did the final prep for child 2, his wife and their baby's arrival. Mid afternoon they met family and I did some shopping, when Peter got home we had a roast dinner.

He's grandads little man, for sure.

101 Monday a long and busy day for our 5 month old grandson as he was taken to meet his Great Granny, Great Nanna, met 5 second cousins, his aunt, uncle and our other grandchild, his cousin, another uncle, a grandad and various other family members of various ages and relationships. Peter collected his mum from Bristol to meet me in Monmouth as I had to catch 2 buses to get to the flat to do a quick check on the repairs, we got home around 6pm and had dinner, Peter returned around 8pm. Everyone absolutely exhausted.

Grandson, DIL 2a and MIL.

102 Tuesday We started the morning baby watching for an hour and baby sitting for half an hour when he woke up while his mum and dad popped out to the retail park. We then went into Worcester for a couple of hours, the dogs got walked, baby slept and I sorted washing and some tidying up. Out for dinner in the evening.

103 Wednesday Everyone and their dog left after lunch, the cat took a few hours to realise there was no mad Molly dog in her home anymore. We made a half hearted attempt to tidy, wash and clean, before giving in and just watching the telly. |I spent some time in my craft room, putting the finishing touches to next doors Easter gifts.

There were tears when this little man left. Mine of course.

104 Thursday Tidied up, washing on and hoovered. Off to visit child 1 and drop off her Easter Egg. Onto collect mum, DIL and grandchild for a coffee and back to mums house for a bit, then called in at our old neighbours in the Forest of Dean to drop off Easter eggs, home at 7pm and evening spent ironing, packing and watching The Bubble on Netflix. Having worked in a bubble during covid and having had endless PCRs and having to quarantine, it was a funny movie in a bitter, sweet way.

105 Friday Set off around 9am on a short break to West Wales it appears no one was travelling there through the country and the roads were quiet. We were going to meet up with some friends, but their kids came down with a stomach bug and they cut their trip short.

For fear of waking early, but I failed. Ended up with a thicker blanket to block the light with a number of pegs to keep it in place.

Nothing on the blog this week.

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Post Comment Love - 29th-31st May

So I was due to return to the UK on Wednesday from Dubai. I'm supposed to be alternating my time between both our homes, but for now I'm in the UK with the cat and dog. I could return to Dubai as I have a residence visa and my husband can travel to the UK, we'd both have to complete 4 weeks in total in quarantine and we have no idea if we are allowed to pop in and out yet. Also I've got no one to look after the cat and dog.

So many plans for lots of people have been cancelled this year, a friends wedding has been rescheduled till next June, birthdays held in lockdown and isolation, holidays cancelled. I'm not worried about things like that, I'm just waiting until the time comes I can see my husband and visit our children, one is in Australia, so that's a long way off.

My husband was supposed to be moving into an apartment in Dubai at the Marina this month and I was having the rest of our furniture and personal belongings shipped back to the UK. He's stayed put in the villa and we got a great reduction on the rent, it all helps especially as we're now running two homes full time, thankfully no mortgage here and I have a rental income coming in from the flat, but relocation is expensive, I had to buy a new car in the UK, I have a car in Dubai just sitting on the drive.

You'd think my stress levels would have risen and my anxiety had increased, but actually on the whole I'm very relaxed and chilled out and off my medication, I do have bad days, usually when I have to go shopping, but otherwise, I'm enjoying the time on my own.

Stephanie and I would love to know what you've been up to this week.

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One Daily Positive - Week 10 Back to Dubai

I'm back in Dubai now till the end of March, via a night in St Albans with a friend as I flew from Heathrow. It's nice to back in the warm and looking forward to 3 weeks of holiday as my friend and her husband are visiting the end of the week, then my SIL and her friend are out the following week. My MIL is house and pet sitting while I'm away.

It is weird being 'home' without the cat and dog, the weather is warmer but still a bit chilly in the evenings

61 Sunday A walk to the retail park for coffee with Bob, then home sorting out photo's, online accounts and blogging, a Sunday lunch early evening and my friend Debbie who is visiting Dubai this week, popped up to say hi and will be walking Bob daily either side of her trip.

In Dubai Bob's nose was more pink, sinc he's been out the sun, it's going dark again.

62 Monday Not taking much with me back to Dubai, my case has just my over night stuff for tonight and 2 nights back in St Albans on my return. Train took 3 hours with 2 changes, let myself in and then popped out for a coffee and a walk around the City.

63 Tuesday Up early to Heathrow for my midday flight, arriving at midnight, same time as Peter who had been in Saudi since Sunday. Flight was half empty, both Terminal 1 and 3 were unusually quiet for that time of night.

Whats wrong people? I lay down and slept most of the fight, these seats were unoccupied for the whole flight. They stayed in their seats, sleeping sitting upright.

64 Wednesday Slept till midday then off to the mall for coffee and some food shopping, pub quiz in the evening.

The garden was a bit overgrown, will have to sort, but also have to sell it.

65 Thursday Dr's for a blood test, nail bar, coffee and home to clean the garden and the upstairs ready for our guests tomorrow.

All this was washed down from the bedroom bacony.

66 Friday cleaned downstairs, I challenge anyone to find another cat or dog hair. Out for coffee, then off to visit friends here, we do the pub quiz with and see their new house. Lazy evening in the garden and off to the airport to collect Debbie and Paul. Debbie is my friend and neighbour from the UK, we've known each other for 18 years, she visited our old house in Dubai in 2015, this is her husbands first visit here.

Our grandchild's 1st hand and foot prints, our DIL made them out of salt dough, nut sadly in the heat they went mouldy so I cast them in plaster of paris.

67 Saturday Off to Abu Dhabi to the Grand Mosque for a visit, then to Ferrari World and Yas Mall. A BBQ and champagne in the garden. We exploded all the myths about Dubai in one day.

On the blog this week:

Maintaining a long distance relationship

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Post Comment Love 13th - 15th December 2019

Hello this week from South Africa. Wasn't planning a trip here, but my husband is here for 2 weeks with work and it seemed silly me sitting at home alone when I could come and visit my friends in our former home.

Stephanie and I are taking a few weeks off now over the Christmas holidays and we'll be back in January on the 10th. I'll be co-hosting back in Dubai for a few weeks until I relocate to the UK in February.

We're having a quiet Christmas, just the two of us. I've yet to book Christmas Brunch, but as you may have gathered I'm pretty much 'last minute . com' The tree went up in November and we started our Christmas Movie watching (yippe ki yay) and shopped for one another on the weekend.

Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. As we celebrate Christmas in style in Dubai, I don't feel the need to call it 'Winter Holidays' I've bought Christmas gifts for my Muslim friends and sent them cards also.

What are your plans for Christmas and the New Year? Looking forward to reading about what you got up to?

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Can I visit the Burj Al Arab?

The Burj Al Arab is an iconic building in Dubai. It's a dream honeymoon location and if you can afford it, it is a place to visit when you're in Dubai.

Although if you do want to visit, don't expect just to walk up and have a peep inside. With the number of visitors in Dubai every year, it's just not doable and at between £1,200 and £5,200 per night, if you can afford to stay there, you really don't want to be tripping over hoards of tourists.

But fear not you can visit, you just need to have a reservation in one of the many restaurants, can book for sundowners and of course experience one of their afternoon teas. If you're resident in the UAE you can get a discount of £400 at certain times of the year on the smaller suites.

We visited in 2016 for my 45th birthday and Peter treated me to afternoon tea in the Sky View Bar. It costs £125 per person and an additional £20 for a window seat.

Visiting the Sky Bar means you can see the whole of the hotel (minus the Suites). It is beautifully decorated with giant fish tanks alongside the escalators in the entrance lobby, the food and service was wonderful.

It was a bit strange being in the Sky View Bar with people who had travelled from all around the world, celebrating engagements, wedding anniversaries and big birthdays, while we had a clear view of our house, along the beach only 5km away.

It was difficult to choose just 5 photos, but here you go.....enjoy.

Burj Al Arab at night.

Looking back to the entrance foyer.

 1st foor, lift straight ahead.

Looking up.

Sky View Bar.

I have a million and one other photo's of various rooms, decoration, the food and the views. I took advantage of taking as many photos as I could because at these prices it was probably the first and last time I visited.

Week 158 Bluewater Islands and Dubai Eye. Man made island a 210m high Big Wheel
Week 159 Dubai Marina - Reflections
Week 160 Dubai Frame. A window between the Old and New Dubai and a 150m high glass floor.

Week 161 Dubai Marina 3 years apart.

Week 162 Dubai Water Canal Bridge Construction and reconfiguration of roads

Week 163 New Metro Line for Expo 2020
Week 164 Hoover Dam 2002 - 2010
Week 165 Dubai Opera House What a difference a year makes
Week 166 Unfinished buildings. The Pentominium
Week 167 Mixing the old and the new. Coventry Catherdral
Week 168 New Dubai Metro Station 
Week 169 Dubai Mall and Burj Khalifa 
Week 170 After the Address fire 
Week 171 The Opus Building
Week 172 District Cooling. Keeping the desert cool.

What to pack in your suitcase for a holiday to the UK?

I asked twitter what I should pack for my holiday in the UK next week and this is what I was told to bring the four S's.

Sanity
Sense of humour
Sunshine
Sou'wester

Now I have no sanity left, my sense of humour has disappeared, I'm coming to the UK to escape the relentless sun of Dubai and a Sou'wester is actually a hat, who knew? For years I'd thought it was one of those long yellow coat/trouser combinations that fishermen wore.

But seriously, I'm coming to the UK for a holiday. My first holiday in the UK since 2010. yes I've been to the UK a couple of times a year over the past 7 years and stayed with family and friends, but I've been sleeping on sofas, sharing rooms with others, living out of a suitcase. I'm NOT complaining, but it's been hard work, tiring and when I've returned home I've felt like I've needed a holiday to recover.

This year we have a 1 bed flat we purchased in South Wales, not in a typical holiday destination, by the sea etc, but in a small town, that plenty of people do actually visit. Whilst it's not a hotel, it will be my own space, it's self contained, in the middle of town and I will be able to not only switch off and relax, but actually unpack and put my suit case away for a while.

The other advantage I have is that I could leave some clothes there on my last trip, winter gear, that I don't need in Dubai.

So being British I know that the weather in the UK is variable, I'm also fully aware that sunshine and heat waves in the South East means it's probably raining everywhere else and that balmy summer will only last 2-3 days before temps drop again to below 20c.

It's always difficult to know what to pack to visit another country, our perception of what weather feels like is based on what we know. For example 20c here in Dubai requires a jacket or jumper in the mornings and evenings, in the UK thats shorts and t shirt weather and I do get funny looks when I'm in the UK wearing hat, gloves and a coat sometimes.

In Dubai I wear dresses, sandals, sleeveless tops, 3/4 length trousers, I dress, I grab a pashmina and go out the door. I don't have to worry about a coat, my feet and my hair getting wet, I don't have to dress with several layers, to take on and off during the day.

If I was coming back for winter I'd be fine, boots, jumpers, jeans, jacket, hat, gloves and scarf. I've got dressing for extreme weather down to a fine art, but summer in the UK? I want to wear a dress to an event, but then I need a coat, once I put the coat on, I need to change my shoes, dainty sandals and a coat don't look right, but then when I get to the venue, I have a lovely dress on and clumpy shoes, should I take my sandals to change into, then I'm carrying a large bag, so I end up wearing trousers and a top that go with the coat and the shoes and a big bag that contains a jumper should it cold later anyway.

I have a generous 30kg allowance. I don't have to pack toiletries and half my suit case is full of gifts.

Camera in suitcase as I'm flying with Turkish Airlines via Istanbul and Hello Kitty kitchen roll for my niece, as well as bargain Converse and Toms I picked up in the sales for 2 of the boys and a girlfriend.

The other half of my case just needs to have a pair of shoes, 1 top and 1 pair of trousers to add plus my hair straighteners and I'm good to go.

I have heels, boots, sandals, dress, jumpers, rain jacket, trousers, cardigans, t shirts and blouses. I will be wearing layers and carrying my hand luggage bag around with me with an umbrella, waterproofs etc on most days out I suspect.

Bob and Pushkins go on holiday - Animal Tales

Both the cat and dog get sensitive when I get ready to travel. Bob normally follows me around the house, from room to room and will sit outside the bathroom to wait for me. If I uncross my legs, he's up and ready to follow me. However when the suit case comes out, Bob takes himself to bed and sulks.

Pushkins becomes over friendly and gets under my feet and will do anything to hinder my packing process.

Bob spent the holidays with his girlfriend Jelly, he was eager to get in the car and settled in really quickly in his holiday home for the next 2 weeks.

Pushkins spent 2 weeks at the vets, she's normally reluctant to get in her cat basket, but as the zip had broken from her last escape attempt, I got her travel box out the shed, which she explored and went straight inside.

When we got back from the first part of our trip, we had an over night stay back home. I visited the cat, who purred, moulted and snuggled into me and after a few minutes, she jumped down and walked back in the other room to her cage.

In the evening I went to see Bob, he knew I wasn't bringing him home, I have no idea how he knew that, but after his initial excitement at seeing me, he took himself to bed, with a backwards glance at me.

Peter collected both the cat and dog after the 2nd week and I returned a week later, arriving the same time as child 3 and his girlfriend. They left on Saturday night, Bob was over the moon to see us both as he'd seen the suitcases come out, but had no idea if I was staying or going.

Child 5 will be here soon for a week and in mid June I shall be going back to the UK for the summer. Peter will be looking after Bob and Pushkins and there will be a visit from Jelly for 2 weeks and he will have to board the pets for a few days when both him and Jelly's owners are away with work.

Traveling with electronics to the UK with Turkish Airlines via Istanbul Airport

I travelled to the UK on Monday from Dubai, via Istanbul with Turkish Airlines. 

I opted to leave my laptop at home and took my camera in my hand luggage. 

The additional security was managed by the airline and our plane took off on time.

Usual screening took place in Dubai and on transfer in Istanbul. No information was available at check in on what the procedure would be in Turkey and Turkish Airlines were slow to update their website with information.

The gate number was annnounced at 12.55pm, 1 hour before take off for boarding as normal, but after presenting passports and boarding passes, we had to queue for bag, explosive swabbing and external body search (pat down)  Every non British passport holder was asked to show their travel documents, boarding passes for earlier flight if in transit and photographs of their exit stamp from earlier flights was taken. 

A variety of electronic items were removed from passengers, including games consoles as well as laptops, iPads, kindles and a computer monitor. Everything was bubble wrapped, bar coded and packed in suitcases to be manually put in the hold. Each passenger received a ticket and was required to sign and list the contents.

 

I handed over my entire camera bag and listed the lenses, tripod etc, other passengers just handed over the main body of the camera, prior to boarding. 

We were informed our items would be handed back to us on arrival to in Birmingham and on exiting the plane, clearing passport and entering the baggage hall, there was a stand for Turkish Airlines, where receipts and goods were passed over in exchange for a signature.

Despite the process being relatively simple, there was no information available at the airport and very little information online, which caused quite a bit of concern amongst passengers and slowed the process down due to passengers asking endless questions when it wasn't necessary if announcements were made.

The whole process could've been a lot simpler and less stressful if entry to the boarding area had started earlier, information given at check in and updated online as cameras were excluded from the cabin ban for the UK, but with the process being new, I wasn't allowed to take it in the cabin. 

I'm hoping they have established a better system in Birmingham, by the next time I travel in June, it was fortunate that arrivals was exceptionally quiet, the young man who was returning electronics to passengers made the process more complicated than it needed to be and it was time consuming and didn't take into account passengers who may have been in transit, maybe the airline knew this in Istanbul or maybe there were passengers who didn't get reunited with their belongings. 

In general I'm more than happy to go through the extra security, I don't use my laptop during the flight and passengers can use their electronic items right up until boarding is announced. I was happier knowing my camera was taken on and off the plane manually, rather than packing it in my suitcase risking theft and mishandling. 

I did have one minor wobble when the airline forced the lid closed on a case and did point out that they needed to be more careful as kneeling on the lid of a suitcase containing laptops was not a good idea. 

Public Toilet Technology - How do you turn the taps on?

I've travelled far and wide, stayed in the finest of hotels, used the basics of bathrooms.

I've found the foot pedals, operated the sensors, turned dials, twisted taps, sussed out if the tap turns left or right or if the hot and cold is on the left or the right.

But this one stumped me and I had to ask at reception how to turn the tap on. Apparently, you lift the elbow and turn left or right to adjust the water temperature.

What's the weirdest tap you've come across?

I'm not the only one who has this issue, see what Michael McIntyre had to say on the subject.

Travel experiences 'then and now'

Ever since I was a baby I've travelled, from wherever we were living with my Father's job in the UK, Newport, Leicester, York, Ross-on Wye to see my grandparents in Brighton and South Wales, during the holidays as well as caravan holidays in the North East, South West or West Wales.

Our one and only foreign holiday was aged 15 for 2 weeks in the South of France and I had a day trip to Calais when I was around 13, with school.

All travel for us was by car, bags were filled, picnics were made, a few toys and books were selected for the journey and all lose items were thrown in the boot. Blankets and pillows were taken for comfort on the journey and we'd often end up with only 1 cassette tape for the trip and little radio coverage.

Fast forward to the 90's and I became a parent myself, holidays were camping at holiday sites near the beach, we travelled by car and the same method of packing took place. There was a special trip  to EuroDisney about 5 years after it opened, after saving hard, collecting the tokens in a newspaper and redeeming them for cheap flights.

Up until 2000 the only other trips I'd made were aged 17 to Amsterdam and with a friend to Dublin for a weekend. I'd also won a competition with a national newspaper and spent a week in Barcelona for the Olympic games.

As with all the trips, tickets, souvenirs were kept and scrap books were made, photo's were taken carefully and sent for developing arriving back 2 -3 weeks later.

My only other experience of travel was that of my Father, who travelled the world with his job between the mid 70's and early 90's. Everything he brought back was treasured and I had a collection of plane tickets, napkins, postcards, gifts mainly from South Africa, India and Egypt. I still have quite a few things from his travels.

All our holidays were out of term time, I never noticed a price difference, I didn't have the means to check out deals, it was either booked by calling a number in the newspaper, visiting a travel agent or obtaining a number for a camp site from a friend's recommendation.

Fast forward to the last 17 years and my travel has widened. Now living in Dubai and previously in South Africa, my approach to travel has changed. As the children got older we travelled to France and round Europe by car, and then further afield to Turkey, Tunisia and America. We thought nothing of getting in the car and driving to Manchester or London from the Midlands for a football match.

Peter's travels now take him further afield, although working in Europe is now a long haul flight away and while most of our holidays are now to the UK, in the past year, between us and together we've travelled to Europe, Canada, Jordan and Egypt.

The kids now come home for a fortnight, bring a mate or a girlfriend, family come to visit for holidays in far flung, foreign places.

In the past 10 years I've noticed  how many people now think that having a holiday is a basic human right, taking children out of school as it's the only time they can afford to go and feeling that unless you travel to a far flung, tropical location they're all missing out and getting into debt to do so.

What happened to the good old British Holiday, a week or two camping or in a caravan, by the sea?

Saying that, I'm flying to the UK for summer, we're off to Turkey in July, me flying in from the UK and Peter from Dubai. I'm also travelling to visit one son and hopefully to Dublin, Munich and South Africa to visit friends.

The rest of my 'holiday' will be spent travelling around in a hire car, visiting family with everything chucked in the boot.

Parenting highlights

Well that's it, this year marks my end of being a mum to kids, as the youngest turns 18 and enters the world of work.

I've been parenting for 25 years this May. In a way I'll never stop parenting, I'm still and hopefully always will be the first point of call when the 5 kidults need advice and support.

Over the years, we've managed to lose children, had battles with schools, illnesses and a few broken bones, hearts broken, disappointment, falling-out with friends and dealt with petty squabbles that have escalated beyond our control.

When we manage to get a few of us together we spend hours talking about holidays and days out and general events that have happened in our lives. At times it's been hard work and often felt like the end of the world, but we now reflect and laugh about certain events, that we've shared over the years.

Our best holiday escapades are summed up in one blog post, Peter and I are both crying with laughing reliving these times. Peter and I have tears rolling down our eyes reading this post from 2010 'when holidays go wrong?'  

Losing various kids has never been funny, but these incidents are ingrained in our memories and we often talk about these situations also.

Child 4 wandered off in San Francisco, he was missing for an hour, found on Pier 39, none the worse for wear and oblivious to our panic.

Child 5 has always wandered off in various locations and the one we've had to call the police out to on several occasions. He walked out the toilets whilst under the supervision of child 2, aged 18, and was found an hour later wandering over the Golden Gate Bridge.
He ran away aged 2 in France and was found by the boys after a frantic 20 minutes, hiding under an ice cream sign. The police were called in Abergavenny and the park sealed off, whilst I left him in the care of child 2, aged 13, while I went to the loo. And once for 2 hours he was missing on Perranporth beach aged 8. BBC seaside rescue were politely told to go away after following me around with a camera no less than 2 inches from my face, he was finally found by one of his cousins wearing a black wet suit with a turquoise spider on it, that they'd given him earlier that day and I had no idea what he was actually wearing, he'd been safe the entire time, but I hand't known that of course, again I'd left him in the care of someone else while I went to the loo.

In no particular order here are some of our funnier times:

Child 5, aged 8, drinking fizzy pop as we drove from Oregon to San Francisco, a 9 hour journey plus stops. Eventually Peter got fed up with endless stops and the child being so desperate to pee, in moving traffic, opened the side door and proceeded to take a pee as we were driving, child 2 grabbed hold of the back of his trousers, for dear life.

Child 5, aged 3, wanted to buy a large fire truck while in France, we said there was no where to put it, he said we could leave child 2 behind and spent the rest of the holiday shouting 'you're a crap mummy'

Child 5, aged 5, in France, go this head stuck in a bench, was yelling 'mummy I'm a duck' it was 10 minutes before I fully investigated to discover his head was wedged into the A frame of the bench, he soon learnt to say the letter 'S'.

Child 2, aged 10, arguing that as the oldest child he should have his own room on holiday and a fight broke out, in the morning he willingly offered the room to child 3 who he'd beat up the previous night, because it was next to the cesspit and smelt like chicken shit.

Child 3, aged 10, who got left behind at home and locked in the house when we went on holiday and we got a mile down the road before child 2 asked where his brother was.

Child 4, aged 5, who refused a bath and was unceremoniously dumped in the bath fully clothed and turned into the tasmanian devil, spinning around in the bath and screaming his head off for half an hour, yet refusing to get out once he had been washed yelling 'you can't do this to me'

Child 2, aged 17, coming home at 2am drunk one night, denying he'd been drinking and he's fallen in the fountain and it was chlorine I could smell, was woken at 6am, made to clean up his mess and sent to collage. Following weekend same occurred and rather than face a telling off he opted to sleep in the shed.

Child 2, aged 10, asked at every meal time for ketchup, before the meal was brought out, despite refusing to help lay the table, so one day when all the plates were served, apart from his, I just squirted the ketchup directly onto his placemat, full melt down ensued.

Child 3, aged 13, the police turned up in the street, assuming they were there for the neighbours child (again) we were shocked to hear our bell ring. Son had witnessed a friend throw a tennis ball, almost 100m's hitting a teacher on the side of the head and knocking him out.

Child 3, aged 16, got into a fight with a mate and was punched in the face and was on route to the hospital, husband dispatched after ambulance crew informed me son was adamant I wasn't to attend so he didn't get a telling off.

Child 4, aged 13, phone call to say son had been in rugby scrum, which had collapsed and he needed hospitalising, the first of 3 occasions where new sports kit was cut off and had to be replaced.

Child 4, aged 13, phone call from school at a rugby match. 'Your son is Ok, we're just waiting for the air ambulance to arrive'

Child 4, aged 15, phone call from paramedics 'we need permission to give your son a tracheotomy' after he was hit in the neck by a cricket ball.

Child 5, aged 11, fell over his own feet and broke his wrist, I gave him 2 paracetamol and an ice pack and finished drying my hair before taking him to hospital.

Child 5, aged 12, got a black eye after crashing on his heelies (wheeled shoes) whilst being towed by a golf cart.

Oh and the poo accidents, where I'll not assign a child number, they know who they are.

Trying to avoid depression now I'm a Stay at Home.

I became a SAHM in 2011 after moving to South Africa where laws prevented me from working. I did however immerse myself in charity and volunteer work, not behind the scenes but fully hands on. Working formed an important part of my identity and without a career I felt lost.

On moving to Dubai, I was determined to find a job and I took the first one offered, teaching in FS1. I hadn't taught in this age group or environment, this didn't work out for me you can read more about why I gave up working here.

So now I'm a SAH through choice. In South Africa my visa read 'Home Executive' In Dubai, due to where we live I'm affectinately known as a 'Jumeriah Jane'  however expat coffee mornings are not my style.

Despite living as expats, we've never employed cleaners or maids to help around the home, many people say we're not supporting the local economy, but for me I don't want a stranger in the house, the worry of employment visas, contracts, etc.

After a full on year of 12+ hours a day working and the recent spate of visitors, I'm glad for the time off. Lots of things have been put on hold that really need doing, such as the garden, housework and tax returns, the house and new flat in the UK that we need to sort things out with such as renewing insurances and the youngest child leaving boarding school and applying for apprenticeships as well as helping him find somewhere to live.

We have a trip to Egypt booked for the end of the month to give me something to look forward to and then there are the trips to the UK and South Africa to book.

But I still have to manage the in-between. I don't find it easy to pace myself and am often accused of making myself ill by not resting, something I did last week, trying to get everything sorted asap.

I know what triggered depression in the past, losing my identity, self worth and value as a person, so I know what to avoid and how to avoid it. This time my new identity is my choice, so I am responsible for myself this time, as in there is no one to try to lay the blame on.

Reading through my blog, I've identified that 2013 and the lowest point for me, the posts are a mixture of reflection and the current situation at the time. It was the year we had Tenants from hell and I spent months away from my family and I felt a self imposed guilt of being away for so long, it was the year the youngest child was heading to the UK for boarding school, child 4 of 5 was finishing school and moving back to the UK sooner rather than later, we had lots of visitors, visas were due for renewal and Peter was travelling more.

June 2011 With love and support from my husband

February 2012 When Suzanne says 'fuck it'

January 2013 Losing my identity caused my depression

February 2013 If depression had physical signs and I looked ill

February 2013 Do expats ever settle?

March 2013 Managing my depression

August 2013 Constant changes make life difficult, long spells in the UK, a child leaving home and after the visitors.

June 2015 the importance of having a routine

So now I know what caused the depression, the triggers, now I know how to stay on top of it, to acknowledge it and say 'it's ok to feel sad' to talk about it before, to ask for help and not feel I have to justify it in anyway, I thought I'd share my thoughts on my blog, so I can revisit and remind myself just how far I have come and that, just like a physical illness, it's ok just to have bad days.

I've created myself a time table/things to do on a daily basis and then weekly goals on top:

Wash up and tidy around the house, sort out the days dinner, make a pack lunch to stop me picking on food all day.

By 9am get dressed, including hair and make up.

Go out, even if it's just for a coffee or a food shop. Walk the dog, cycle, go to the beach, blog at the coffee shop, anything just to get me out the house and do this first thing or I'll not leave.

Sundays and Thursday are for housework, food shop, washing, ironing and tidying only. Getting ready for the weekend so when it comes Peter and I can do what we want rather than spending, like we have the past year, doing housework, washing and ironing, then too tired to do anything.

Tuesday are desert days, take Bob for a long walk, pack the camping stove, a book, deck chair and picnic and just chill out. Nearly everyone I've met in Dubai has been through #BobTheDog.

There are projects and crafts I want to do. Finish writing my book, sew dog beds for charity, find a use for the rest of the odds and ends lying around the house. Sort the physical photo's into albums. Work more in the garden, sit more in the garden and enjoy the efforts of my hard work.

I will allow myself down days, pj days and days of eating junk food, that's how we spent the weekend, for the first time in a year, just chilling out and switching off.

And finally, routine. I have to accept it changes, not on a daily basis but when we have an influx of visitors, when I travel to the UK. We've bought a flat near my parents so we have somewhere to stay when we travel, a base, so we're not living out of a suitcase, somewhere we can invite people to come and visit us. Expensive, but so simple. It will make going home now a lot more pleasurable, knowing we can switch off and relax and actually start taking proper holidays rather than seeing it as a chore because we have no down time.

A walk around Munich

I'm in love with Munich, I may have mentioned this is earlier posts, but it truly is a gorgeous city and cheap and easy to get to from Luton airport. I spent 5 days there in the summer with friends and had 2 days on my own to explore the city and I think I covered almost every square inch and went inside almost every public building, museum, coffee shop, tourist office and souvenir shop. I started and ended my journey on foot at Marienplatz.

The toy museum. Having been to the one in Hamburg a few years ago, I was slightly disappointed with what was on display here, but for only a few Euro's it didn't break the bank and I met a nice couple inside who told me about St Peter's tower, which I throughly enjoyed visiting.

The transport system was clearly sign posted, easy to use, assuming you know how to use public transport and reasonably priced. I don't speak a word of German and I managed rather well.

Check out the may poles. Not something I'd associate with Germany, it made me think about the 2012 Olympic Games when the South African friend I was staying with in Germany asked what the opening ceremony was all about and I explained I'd not danced round or seen a May Pole since I was 7.

With all the walking and the lovely hot weather, I couldn't find a single reason why I shouldn't sit down every now and then and have a beer or two.

All the streets were easy to navigate and despite wandering off the beaten track quite a few times as I spotted something shiny to explore in a shop, I managed to get back on track every time.

The decoration of the buildings and the signage is simply stunning.

I did quite a bit of shopping in Munich, a leather handbag, new Birkenstocks as I wore my feet out with all the walking I did and of course plenty of souvenirs.

I did purchase an outfit for my niece, it was pricey, but worth it.

Apart from the bars, coffee shops and restaurants, there was plenty of seating for people just to plonk themselves down on and sit for a while.

I visited many places in Munich, learnt a lot, which I seem to have forgotten for the moment but I do remember Juliet and her shiny boob. The statue was a gift from Munich's sister city, Verona and it is said to be good luck to rub her right boob. 

And back to the beginning.