My Sunday Photo Week 129 P is for......

........Packing, Penguins, Presents and Polish.

I dragged Peter round Dubai Aquarium yesterday for my birthday treat. I'll be in the UK next week for my actual birthday. He bought me a cuddly Penguin as a gift.

Today I finished packing my suitcase and had a manicure and pedicure and new polish, then had to reopen my case to add my birthday present and card Peter bought for me after work.

What to pack in your suitcase for a holiday to the UK?

I asked twitter what I should pack for my holiday in the UK next week and this is what I was told to bring the four S's.

Sanity
Sense of humour
Sunshine
Sou'wester

Now I have no sanity left, my sense of humour has disappeared, I'm coming to the UK to escape the relentless sun of Dubai and a Sou'wester is actually a hat, who knew? For years I'd thought it was one of those long yellow coat/trouser combinations that fishermen wore.

But seriously, I'm coming to the UK for a holiday. My first holiday in the UK since 2010. yes I've been to the UK a couple of times a year over the past 7 years and stayed with family and friends, but I've been sleeping on sofas, sharing rooms with others, living out of a suitcase. I'm NOT complaining, but it's been hard work, tiring and when I've returned home I've felt like I've needed a holiday to recover.

This year we have a 1 bed flat we purchased in South Wales, not in a typical holiday destination, by the sea etc, but in a small town, that plenty of people do actually visit. Whilst it's not a hotel, it will be my own space, it's self contained, in the middle of town and I will be able to not only switch off and relax, but actually unpack and put my suit case away for a while.

The other advantage I have is that I could leave some clothes there on my last trip, winter gear, that I don't need in Dubai.

So being British I know that the weather in the UK is variable, I'm also fully aware that sunshine and heat waves in the South East means it's probably raining everywhere else and that balmy summer will only last 2-3 days before temps drop again to below 20c.

It's always difficult to know what to pack to visit another country, our perception of what weather feels like is based on what we know. For example 20c here in Dubai requires a jacket or jumper in the mornings and evenings, in the UK thats shorts and t shirt weather and I do get funny looks when I'm in the UK wearing hat, gloves and a coat sometimes.

In Dubai I wear dresses, sandals, sleeveless tops, 3/4 length trousers, I dress, I grab a pashmina and go out the door. I don't have to worry about a coat, my feet and my hair getting wet, I don't have to dress with several layers, to take on and off during the day.

If I was coming back for winter I'd be fine, boots, jumpers, jeans, jacket, hat, gloves and scarf. I've got dressing for extreme weather down to a fine art, but summer in the UK? I want to wear a dress to an event, but then I need a coat, once I put the coat on, I need to change my shoes, dainty sandals and a coat don't look right, but then when I get to the venue, I have a lovely dress on and clumpy shoes, should I take my sandals to change into, then I'm carrying a large bag, so I end up wearing trousers and a top that go with the coat and the shoes and a big bag that contains a jumper should it cold later anyway.

I have a generous 30kg allowance. I don't have to pack toiletries and half my suit case is full of gifts.

Camera in suitcase as I'm flying with Turkish Airlines via Istanbul and Hello Kitty kitchen roll for my niece, as well as bargain Converse and Toms I picked up in the sales for 2 of the boys and a girlfriend.

The other half of my case just needs to have a pair of shoes, 1 top and 1 pair of trousers to add plus my hair straighteners and I'm good to go.

I have heels, boots, sandals, dress, jumpers, rain jacket, trousers, cardigans, t shirts and blouses. I will be wearing layers and carrying my hand luggage bag around with me with an umbrella, waterproofs etc on most days out I suspect.

Week 43 - One Daily Positive and Project 366. Newport to Dubai

I arrived back in Dubai on Friday, I'm shattered. I've unpacked and put most of it away. I really don't want to go to work tomorrow, I'm not getting any satisfaction from working, there's too much pressure on me, while I enjoy the teaching side and don't mind planning and evidencing work in my own time, I don't think I've ever worked in a job where I'm under so much scrutiny and asked to justify EVERY single action. I've already decided I will pack it in at the end of the school year in June, but at the moment I'm not sure I'm going to make it to the new year.

Whilst I had a lovely time in the UK, it was sadly a trip made due to family bereavement. My Father's youngest brother's funeral was on Monday. It was lovely a service, there were lots of people there from his involvement with Gwent Football Association and the bands he'd played in over the years.

Sadly on Thursday we heard the news that my Mother's eldest brother had passed away. The funeral will be in mid November and I won't be able to travel to attend.

Day 297 - Kids. Picked up a few craft activities for school, I did want to post a picture of the teen, but he was having none of it as usual.

Day 298 - Cute. My sisters missing cat, he ran away last year, she has moved towns since then, she finally located him and brought him back to the new house where he has settled back in.

Day 299 - Amazing. Lovely to meet up with my SIL who I haven't seen since her Cancer was diagnosed in July, she is half way through her treatment and looks fab. Her daughter (my niece) is spending new year with us and 2 of the boys, she needs a break, she doesn't want or need the break, but her mum and I have ganged up on her.

Day 300 - Light. I've really enjoyed being in the UK in autumn, the rain and the cold, it all looks so pretty, it's amazing how early it gets dark now. In Dubai we average 10-12 hours of light every day. While we miss the long summer evenings of the UK, we certainly don't miss the lack of sun in the winter.

Day 301 - Leaves. I've loved the sight, smell and sounds of autumn. 

Day 302 - Dark. Back in Dubai, an evening at sunset spent on the beach, I've been sleeping the rest of the time.

Day 303 - Trick. I hate this part, the unpacking and eventual putting away of stuff. 

Week 24 - Project 365

Last week ended with me being in agony again, I haven't had physio all week as he was full up and not even a cancellation in sight. I did quite a bit of driving as it was far too hot to be out walking and I spent Sunday cleaning the house, which involved moving furniture and making beds. However the week got much better on Monday, after coffee with friends and my 20yo son arriving after a week in South Africa on his way back to the UK. It was lovely to see him and hear about his new life in the army.

We went out on the Dhow Cruise for dinner on Tuesday, Wednesday we went out for lunch and a spot of shopping, spent a couple of hours on the beach and out for dinner in the evening, then on the beach. Thursday after my physio we caught the bus to Dubai Mall, more shopping followed by a late lunch/early dinner. I had another long drive into the desert on Friday then it was off to the airport to see him off, there were a few tears, mainly mine, but I'll see him again in September in the UK for his passing out parade.

I had a couple of hours at home to wash the bedding, clean the bathroom and then it was back to the airport to collect hubby who had been in the States for 2 weeks with work. Saturday we were back out in the desert walking Bob with a group of lovely people. I'm itching to pack my suitcase  as on Wednesday I'm off to Canada to meet a twitter buddy for 3 weeks. But hubby has just returned from the States and the case is still full of his stuff.

Day 158 #onedailypositive #forgotten #fmsphotoaday #butterfly #snaphappybritmums #project365

I've forgotten what it is like to be me.

I feel like I'm in a chrysalis, hiding away from the real world. My world is one where my children have a better future, where my husband has a career that takes him all over the world. Where my family have their lives that I am now isolated from.

For 5 years as an expat I have been cocooned away from the 'real world' one of work, responsibilities and opportunities. I am just here, resting on the outside, while inside I'm a hive of activity, wondering what my future will bring.

I'm waiting to be released, flap my wings and fly.

Day 159 #onedailypositive #sadness #fmsphotoaday #egg#snaphappybritmums #project365

It is with great sadness that I blow yet another myth about life in Dubai. I can drive, eat pork, wear a swim suit, work, celebrate Christmas and Easter and I don't have to cover my face and body when I go out. These assumptions are made regularly and I also get asked if it's hot enough to cook an egg. So I had a go. The answer is no, this was 1pm, the fire pit had been exposed to the sun since 7am and was too hot to touch, but it wouldn't cook an egg.

Day 160 #onedailypositive #disgust #fmsphotoaday #SpringClean #snaphappybritmums #project365

Meet the dust bunnies, I think they're going to be featuring quite a lot in my life, I might have to give them all names but then I won't be able to bin them if they have names. I am disgust(ed) by the thought of ever having a carpet again. I did a full spring clean on Sunday. With the cat and dog and the air con on, it doesn't take long for all this to build up again.

Day 161 ‪#‎onedailypositive‬ ‪#‎anger‬ ‪#‎fmsphotoaday‬ ‪#‎cake‬‪#‎snaphappybritmums‬ ‪#‎project365‬

I am angry I forgot all about today's photo prompt and I didn't get to eat cake. I am angry that as I live as an expat I miss my adult children's and family birthdays and other events. But I didn't miss my niece's wedding back in April this year so I'm showcasing the cake my talented sister baked and decorated for her daughters big day.

Day 162 #onedailypositive #fear #fmsphotoaday #8pm #snaphappybritmums #project365

I fear missing out on news from one of the many places we have family and friends, by getting confused with the time difference. Hubby is on a flight to New York on his way back to Duabi which I'm trying to track and son is flying back from Dubai to the UK tomorrow and on Wednesday I fly to Canada for 3 weeks. hopefully this will help me remember when to Skype/phone and not wake anyone up.

Day 163 ‪#‎onedailypositive‬ ‪#‎joy‬ ‪#‎fmsphotoaday‬ ‪#‎yellow‬‪#‎snaphappybritmums‬ ‪#‎project365‬

All day I've been looking for yellow. I'm sitting on the patio, there's a mop with a yellow handle, it's been used today. The laundry basket is yellow, it too has been used today. I bought a burger from Hardee's drive through it has a yellow smiley face for a logo. I saw a yellow Ferrari, I've been out in the desert and just returned from the beach. Sand is yellow, right? But I didn't take any photos, I was busy looking for yellow. Then I realised as I sat down to drink my tea and search for something yellow that brought me joy, I realised, my tea mug is yellow and I'm wearing yellow flip flops. Why has today been so full of joy? Well my son came into the desert with me on his last day of vacation to take his dog for a walk and play in the lakes, he won't see Bob again for maybe a year, but they both had so much fun. And how can a mop and laundry basket bring joy? Hubby flys back to Dubai tonight after 2 weeks away. The house is clean, there are fresh sheets on the bed and it means we can just chill out for the weekend.

Day 164 #onedailypositive #OnMyMind #fmsphotoaday #feet #snaphappybritmums #project365

Can you believe with as much international and local travel that hubby and I do, we only have one suitcase between us? I mean just the one. A handle broke on his, then my zip went so we bought a new one. 

Just think the average suitcase probably makes one return flight a year, maybe a coach trip and often a car journey. Since getting our new suitcase it has travelled from the UK to Dubai, been to South Africa and Turkey twice, made a return trip to the UK, has just returned from America and on Wednesday it is heading off with me to Canada. It's next trip after that will be to the UK, but with both of us flying we'll need to invest in another one. Not only does the suit case travel miles on a plane, it also travels quite some distance on it's wheels, which means our feet are also covering quite some ground. I usually travel in sensible footwear, as when I reach my destination I have buses and trains to catch and you know how much walking is involved getting across London even when you use public transport. But for this trip to Canada I'm being collected at the airport so I'm wearing these for a bit of fun.

I don't belong anywhere and you don't understand why

You know that feeling when you start a new job, or you take your kids to their new school, or you join the gym and you stand there wondering how you're going to fit in, will you fit in, you don't know anyone, assume they all have their little groups and that the cliques will close you out, you worry that you're being judged on how you're dressed, what you say etc?

Well I don't feel like that, I'm miles away from that stage.

I'm an expat, relocating after 4 years from South Africa to Dubai. I have a suitcase, a hotel, access to a car and a cell phone. I'm with hubby and the 19 year old who is supposed to be visiting us on holiday currently sleeping on a variety of sofas, not something we'd planned. Our house is no where near ready and even if it was our visas are weeks away from completion, so the air freight stays in South Africa and the shipping container is at the docks in Dubai. 19 yo happens to have friends in Dubai, school friends from South Africa, so he knows more people than we do already.

No one has been able to answer the question in regards to how we were able to bring our cat and dog over without a visa but shhhhhhhh, I'm happy to leave that question unanswered for now.

I'm struggling, I'll be honest, even though we've done this before it's not easy. Everyone says 'you'll cope, you're good at stuff like this' Yes I will and I am, but what you don't realise is that a) I cope as in I get the stuff done, but when I don't tell you every detail you don't cope well with it and b) yes it gets done, but remember the cost, time, hassles etc you smile and say well done, but you're not there at the time when I'm struggling.

I rant, I rave, I cry, but you tell me 'it'll be ok' I scream 'I KNOW IT WILL BE OK, BUT IT'S NOT OK RIGHT NOW'

I want to go home, but I don't have one anymore, I have to make a new home, but can't do that till everything else is done.

'Have a holiday, switch off, relax, enjoy Dubai.' Yep, OK I'll do that then but which one of you is going to sort it all out for me?