How did this happen? I'm only 46, they haven't even made me a grandparent yet, yet they've slowly taken over and put themselves in charge.
I recently spent the weekend in Northern Ireland with my son and his girlfriend.
I'm using his car for the summer while I'm in the UK as he's going away with work for 6 months. I booked my flights, airport parking and a B&B and travelled their all by myself. I mean I even managed to get from Dubai to the UK in the first place.
But on arrival, my bag was taken from me, I was sat in the back of the car, driven to the B&B, settled in, checked that I had everything I needed and was informed of what time I would be collected, what I'd need to wear, bring with me etc.
Days out were planned, again I was sat in the back, coffee was brought to me upon collection to save them having to stop to fulfil my needs, I was informed of toilet stop availability and asked if I needed to go before setting off between sites and told quite firmly to put my purse away.
I'm 46 FFS, in control of my bladder, most of the time as long as trampoline's aren't involved and as far as I'm aware I still have all my faculties.
The 27 year old is no better, he's worried I'm taking on too much. Am I resting enough, eating properly. I'm doing no different now with helping the 18 year find a job than I did with the 27 year old when he left school and at 46, I'm still a lot younger than most of the 18 year old's school friends parents, in fact a lot younger than all the 27 year old's friend's parents. (I'll just add here, technically step mum, but just mum to him) He's also informed me I am NOT allowed to take child 1 out on my own from now on, as I struggled the other day getting her in and out the car, she is profoundly disabled and whilst she is small and light weight for an almost 30 year, she does have challenging behaviour, this is nothing to do with my age or ability, just to do with mine and her safety and risk of injury to us both.
The 18 year old has also stepped up a gear. We're sharing a 1 bed flat, I really thought I'd be pulling my hair out after a week, but I'm not, he's keeping his part clean and tidy as well as the communal areas and is nagging me to fold up my sofa bed daily as it'll make the place look tidier and less depressing and feel more like a home than a bed sit. He's right of course (don't tell him) and it does make it nicer to come home and be able to sit together to watch TV in the evenings. He writes the shopping list and helps with the budgeting, I shop, he tells me off for lugging the shopping from the car and up the stairs alone, he makes me a cup of tea, has run me a bath, tells me to relax.
The 25 year old is doing no such thing, he still wants looking after, with his list of diva demands, that I'm happy to make. He is the one I've spent the least amount of time with over the past 7 years since we moved abroad, he's always lived the furthest away, been the most independent and is now moving to Australia. But he is the one that comes to me the most for help, guidance and support. 'Mum, how do I ......... ?????????'
Sadly the boys had to step up a gear 4 weeks ago when my dad died suddenly at home. The teen and I were with him when he died and over the past 4 weeks he's been amazing. He's been doing jobs in the garden, entertaining the great grand children, cooking meals, fixing the toilet door locks and taps. Child 4 flew over from Northern Ireland, thankfully his deployment was delayed and he managed to make the funeral, he ran errands for his nanna, did all the driving to save me from having to do it and food shopped. Child 3 and 3a came down from Leeds for the weekend, cooked a couple of meals for us for the week ahead, but had to return to work and child 3 made it back down for the funeral, he also had to pack up his life, flat and job as he flew out to Australia with 3a whilst I was writing this post. 2 and 2a live near by and have been back and forth, driving me to and from the funeral, fetching coffee etc.
I have the most amazing boys. Peter and I are very proud to call them our sons. Their girlfriends are wonderful also. Sadly 4a wasn't able to make it over and Peter missed 3a as she was saying goodbye to her family ahead of the move to Australia.