Tuesday 13 March 2018

What’s it like being a woman living in the Middle East?

I live in Dubai in the UAE, not Saudi Arabia.

Please stop confusing the two countries. I can’t talk about what it’s like to live in any other country in the Middle East, other than the UAE and Dubai in particular.

But I can talk about living as an expat spouse in another country, in South Africa, different to my country of birth, the UK and where I live now.

Living as a none working expat, as in I'm only living abroad to support my husband while he works in another country for a set period of time, means that my visa reads 'not entitled to work' and therefore I am unable to obtain things such as bank, phone accounts and have utility bills in my own name. This is because I do not have an income, my husband sponsors me as in he is taking full financial responsibility for me being in the country with him, including my emotional, mental and physical well being.

It means I have to have a letter of consent from him to work, which makes me more desirable to employers as they are not financially responsible for me in regards to paying a housing allowance and  providing medical cover and I need a letter for me to drive, meaning my husband will take full responsibility to ensure I am insured, my vehicle is road worthy and I have the means to pay any fines.

The above applied to life in South Africa also, but strangely enough I didn't meet the requirements under BEE Black Economic Empowerment law to work there regardless of whether my husband sponsored me or not as I didn't meet the skills shortage requirements.

If I were the one with the visa to work and he was accompanying me, then the same rules would apply to him also.

It does not mean that because I am a woman I am a 2nd class citizen, in any way shape or form.

I did work for a year in Dubai as a Teacher, I made a decision to stop working as realistically one of us needs to be able to travel to and from the UK to support our families living there and as a Teacher I cannot earn the salary to maintain our standard of living and fund my husband to do the same level of travel.

I was also offered a job with a sponsored visa by the UAE Government for another teaching post, which I had to decline when my father died last year.

Now that part is all cleared up, let me tell you what it's like living as a woman in Dubai.

I can drive a car.

I don't have to wear an abaya or cover my head or face. I have to ensure my shoulders are covered if I go to a government building and wear a head scarf if I visit one of the two mosques that offer tours to none Muslims.

I can drink alcohol. Everyone needs a licence to purchase alcohol from a liquor store, all one has to do is provide proof they are not a Muslim to do this by filling in a form and paying a small fee. I don't have a licence, there's no need to pay for two and besides with all the travel we do, we purchase what we want at duty free.

I can buy pork products in the local supermarket.

I can wear a swimming costume or bikini on a public beach.

I can go out on my own.

I can buy myself a glass of wine at a bar without my husband being present.

I actually have my own bank account, car and insurance and mobile phone contract, in my own name, from when I was working that I don't have to change now I'm not.

I can hold my husband's hand in public, I can hug him and give him a kiss when I greet him at the airport or say goodbye.

I can go out for a meal or a drink or get in a car with a man who is not my husband, father, brother or son.

My Doctor is male.

I can celebrate Christmas, Easter, Halloween and purchase everything I need/want from the local stores and Malls. I can attend a Christian church.

And if I choose to, on public transport I can sit/stand in the woman and children only section of a bus/train.

All in all life in Dubai isn't that different from living in the UK, other than the fact that Dubai is a much safer country for me to live in, regardless of whether I'm male or female. I've yet to encounter groups of drunks on a weekend, I don't come across people fighting, swearing or throwing up in the street. I have no issues travelling across the city late at night on public transport or in my car. I have no fear when I go out alone at night walking the dog, taking a short cut through a park regardless of the time of day and have absolutely no worries about my personal safety in regards to my belongings. If I leave my bag at a table in a restaurant while I go to the toilet or on the beach while I go for a swim. I can guarantee it will still be there on my return.






25 comments:

  1. Thanks for taking the time to write this post. I found it really interested as I know there are a lot of mixed up rumours around how women are treated. #triumphanttales

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  2. So interesting! I have a friend whose husband travels to the UAE for work about once a year. His recollections from his visit are similar to your experience--that it is a modern country.

    I'm curious what the reason is for the safety being better? If we could bottle it up and make the US safer, then I'm all for it!

    #tweensteensbeyond

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    1. safer here because they enforce the law and apply it to all with strict punishments and then you get deported

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  3. Hi Chickenruby,

    I love your blog! You describe wonderfully the life as expat spouse. I am working on a study researching expat spouse adjustment by analyzing online blogs. I would be honored if you would participate. All information will be anonymized.

    If you are interested please follow this link. It is a very short survey and the informed consent. After analysis I would contact you again for a short 30 minute interview. I would certainly share the study results with you. If you have any questions please contact me at alessle@my.gcu.edu

    For particiaption please follow this link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/Expat-Spouse-Adjustment

    Ps, I also had chicken once but I never named them. They were delightful pets :-)

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    1. thank you for your lovely comments, am back home now in dubai and will complete the survey

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  4. Really interesting post — it's always good to see stereotypes being challenged, and above all hearing from a person herself, rather than commentators doing it for her. #TriumphantTales

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  5. Here's to safety and finding somewhere where that exists. You have lived such a life and by sharing on your blog, you give so many of us such an insight into things we may not have thought about before.

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    1. life is certainly very good here in terms of safety

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  6. I really enjoyed reading this Suzanne and found it very interesting. I have visited Dubai, only for 5 days, and felt very safe and welcome the whole time I was there. My middle daughter loved it so much she is adamant that she wants to live there so I'll show this post to her too. Sadly, in my home city of Cardiff, drunks on the streets and people fighting with each other is an increasingly common sight. Thanks so much for sharing with us at #TweensTeensBeyond

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    1. thank you, what line of work is your daughter interested in? she'd have a good life out here as long as she was disciplined to avoid the spending and party scene.

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    2. Right now she’s thinking of studying law!

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  7. It is interesting - I found it very strange being in Dubai - I kept my Abaya on until someone at the airport told me I could take it off and I kept checking my 'phone for prayer times! That said life as an expat woman in Saudi Arabia is not (with some quite big exceptions)that different.

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    1. I have friends in Saudi, i notice that social media updates are limited and opinions are kept private, but i see more and more pictures emerging of women taking part in various activities

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  8. You're right! It doesn't sound very different to here in the UK (apart from the weather!) Very interesting to hear about it from someone living there. #tweenteensbeyond

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    1. thank you, it does get too hot in the summer though and i'll be back in the uk

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  9. Really interesting Suzanne. Fabulous post. Somewhere I've always wanted to visit and it's a delight to hear if from your perspective. And the safety aspect - that says it all really. There's been some pretty bad violence this last week here in our part of town. Thank you as always for your insightful posts at #tweensteensbeyond

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    1. thank you for your lovely comment, i feel safe in my local area in the uk and smaller cities i'm familiar with, but new places do make me a little wary

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  10. What a great read, and great to clear up some of the myths.
    The UK is riddled with crime as there is low consequences of petty crime, assault, carrying a knife etc.
    The drunks are a disgrace and it seems a big joke for both sexes to go out at a weekend and get so drunk they vomit and end up in A&E and then joke about it as if it is funny.
    I am glad you feel safe walking your streets and going out at night.
    One of my other bug bares in this are is the amount of dog fouling on the streets.

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    1. oh Elaine, dog fouling is a huge issue over here also

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  11. It is so nice to hear the truths about Dubai! There are so many rumours as to what women can do and cant do out there that it's put both me and hubby off of going as we dont want to get in trouble with the police out there!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week!

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    1. it's amazing where people get their ideas from about life in Dubai, i fear the media is responsible for scaremongering

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  12. I think I have mentioned before that my parents lived in Dubai when I was a teenager at university and they really enjoyed their time as expats there and I certainly enjoyed visiting. Of course the culture is different but it is simply a case of becoming accustomed to a different way of living and being respectful. My husband travels and works extensively in the UAE and Saudi and we have many interesting discussions about misconceptions in the UK. A great and informative post Suzanne. #TweenTeensBeyond

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    1. yes I remember you saying about your parents living over here, but I didn't realise your husband worked over here also

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