Birthdays no longer celebrated

It would've been my Father's 85th birthday on the 7th of September. He died aged 77.

This is one of my favourite photo's taken of the two of us.

He used to moan about me taking photos and putting them on 'that internet' then he'd ask all day if we had any likes and 'how many?'

I took this photo on the Sunday on our last day out together, he died on the Tuesday. I'm so grateful for the those last 3 days we spent together. I'm so grateful for being in the UK when he died. But I'll be honest, I'm still not grateful, 7 years on, that I was there when he died.

It would've been my Gran's 115th birthday on the 14th of September. She died in 2006, one month after her 92nd birthday. This photo was taken on her 90th birthday. She's pictured here with my Father and my Uncles. They both died aged 66, in 2011 and 2016.

September is a sad month for me remembering my father and my gran. I still go to pick things up for them for their birthdays. The clock I bought my father for his birthday the year he died and I never got to give him has finally stopped working.

The second hand stopped working a month ago. I need to chuck it out, I don't want to be a hoarder like he was.

I still have the card, which sadly came true, along with emptying the sheds, the attic and several rooms.

There are times I pick up tea towels as souvenirs to give my gran, but put them back with a little sadness that she is no longer with us to give them to her, but I still use the tea towels she had daily, the tea towels she had pinned to the kitchen cupboard door that were given as gifts for her.

Whilst I feel sad, I'm also grateful to have these wonderful people in my life for as long as I did. For my children to have had a great grandmother they can remember spending time with and for them to have had a grandfather in their adult lives.

One Daily Positive - Week 25 - Just doing nothing

Most people comment that the stuff I get up to tires them out, just thinking about the decorating, repairs and gardening, but you have to remember I've been on my own since March 24th, with just the cat and dog for company. My life prior to lockdown has been 9 years living as an expat. 4 years in South Africa where I worked with several charities that I still support and then 5 years in Dubai, where apart from 18 months teaching, I've pretty much done nothing other than an awful lot of travel, which has come to a halt for the foreseeable future. 

Prior to living abroad, I worked for the FA in child welfare and taught part time at Worcester Tech training teaching assistants and customer service/retail. I was also studying for a degree that I'm hoping to pick back up this year with the OU and we had 5 children at home. My life now is so very different and with it has come a whole new identity and way of life.

The plan had been for me to go back to Dubai to organise the shipping of our furniture. Peter was supposed to be here now and had planned to do most of the DIY jobs I've learnt to do, such as re plastering walls and grouting and sealing the ensuite shower. I've had to call professionals in for some plumbing, re felting the shed and I've had extra jobs done such as new carpets, windows replaced and a tree cut down.

Peter says I've taken away all the jobs he was planning to do in retirement, but we still need top sort out the bathrooms, kitchen and some repairs or replacement with the shed.

For the first time in ages, I actually feel like I have a purpose and I am making a contribution to our future. I might not be earning a salary, Peter does that, but I'm creating our home ready for when he returns, so we can spend our time with family, friends and hopefully resume our travel plans.

To do list carried over:

Learn to crochet (been carrying this forward since pre lockdown).
Investigate returning to the OU to finish my degree.
Read.
Schedule #PoCoLo blog posts.
Paperwork.

I've finished my to do list. Just general maintenance on the garden, day to day cleaning, study, reading, paperwork, bills and blogging are just things that roll over every week. My next challenge is working out a time to get back to Dubai and sort the furniture out for shipping, then I'll have plenty to do 6 weeks after that when it arrives in the UK and all needs unpacking.

166 Sunday The plan was to visited child 5 in the Cotswolds. He's agreed to 'Bubble' with me. He wanted his flat cleaned and the odd weekend to come and stay and get his washing done. Lovely to be wanted lol. I was taking Bob and they would walk around Cirencester, find me a take out coffee and I was treating him to a McDonalds in lieu of a meal out for his 21st birthday in April (his request). On the way home I was to drop a care package at child 1's care home. Instead I got to Tewkesbury had a slow puncture, drove home and spent the day sitting in the garden or on the sofa, blogging, watching TV and just chilling out.

167 Monday Got the tyre fixed and drove to Monmouth to collect mum to move in with me for the foreseeable future, due to family set ups Mum and I will only be able to 'bubble' with child 5. Arranged for a friend to let Bob out for a pee and feed him and the cat. I distanced visited a friend and the twins who lives in the same town and dropped some goodies off with the Things. Mum soon unpacked and I got on with my own things.

168 Tuesday I investigated the paint in the shed. I haven't painted the two bedrooms on the top floor yet as we're using them for storage, I'll start painting them over the next few weeks. My mattress was dropped off, bed frame arrives next week.

169 Wednesday Up early and up the Malvern Hills with Bob. It was a really foggy start to the day and we came down the hills into the town and walked back to the car park.

170 Thursday Set off to Cirencester to see child 5. I messaged him to say I was leaving and he phoned to say work had called him in at a different site and he was away till next week. I had Bob ready to go so distanced dropped care package to child 1. We've had correspondence from the care home to say not to visit, yet when I arrived I discovered the other resident being dropped off by her father, this has been going on throughout lockdown. I was really angry to hear this, we should've been informed and allowed our input on our daughters behalf for the alleged risk assessment they carried out. So I put in a call to Public Health England. This was the first time child 1 and Bob had met, he made a bee line for her, she really wasn't interested and I was too far away for her to know I was there, but it was nice to see her. Did a food shop in the afternoon.

171 Friday
Despite the weather being miserable the last few days, it's nice to be in the UK rather than in Dubai where I'd be stuck indoors. Dubai has reopened fully but with social distancing measures in place, temperature checks before entering malls and masks and gloves must be worn at all times, other than when driving or eating/drinking. The temps look lovely but with the humidity it feels 16c hotter. My friend visited in the evening and we sat in the garden with blankets, wine and chips. i also had a zoom call with my friends in South Africa.

172 Saturday
Mums birthday, I've got cake, decorations and gifts (there's an orchid under the shopping bag) cards were posted here and child 4 and 4a sent her flowers yesterday and I bought her a bunch also. My sister and niece are apparently coming over later today to social distance visit in the garden.

On the blog this week:

What is #PostcardsOfKindness and why I'm writing to random strangers

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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One daily Positive - Week 23 Fairy door, Narnia and new carpets

On my to do list this week

Learn to crochet (been carrying this forward since pre lockdown).
Family Tree.
Investigate returning to the OU to finish my degree.
Read.
Add backing to pom pom rug.
Finish Jigsaw.
Remove carpet from last bedroom.
Empty wardrobe for carpet fitters, move furniture.
Weed round back of the shed.
Schedule #PoCoLo blog posts.
Fix blind in ensuite.
Paint conservatory, lounge and dining room.

My to do lists aren't compulsory. I find a list helps me choose something to do if I'm feeling a bit lost or the day is dragging on too long. Things like walking the dog up the Malvern Hills, general gardening, cleaning, paying bills etc just get slotted in as and when they need doing

Lots of local dog walks and more letter writing, birthday cards and gifts delivered.

152 Sunday Up early so gave the main bedroom windowsill a fresh coat of paint, sat in the garden to have breakfast and catch up with blog comments and painted the walls in the downstairs loo, popped out to Worcester to fetch my click and collect food shop. Back to bed for a couple of hours, tidied up, dog walk, watered garden, dinner and a video gin call.

Never too old for a bit of magic

153 Monday The man came back to fix the issues in the bathroom and the with the shed roof. I did some blogging and cooked a roast in the morning. In the afternoon I painted the walls in the kitchen and the hall, cleaned the bathroom and put it back together, Walked Bob, watered the garden, bath and bed.

154 Tuesday - Went over to see my friend Julie the other side of the town, we met through child 5 at school, about 15 years ago. The boys don't keep in touch anymore but we've remained friends. It was her birthday so I dropped off a gift and cake and we social distanced in the front garden. Removed the last carpet from the room I'm sleeping in and moved bedside tables into the wardrobes and other bits into the bathroom. I'm now sleeping down stairs till Saturday. Spent the evening in the garden writing letters and sorting parcels to post for upcoming birthdays. Child 2 and 2a's 2nd wedding anniversary.

155 Wednesday Took Bob up the Malvern Hills, I parked half way up at the quarry and took a slightly different route up today. I had a quote to replace 2 double glazed units that have blown and are full of condensation. We've already had the 10 smaller units replaced. Didn't sleep well with a Chinook flying over head between 1-3am and felt a bit sick and headachy, so spent the rest of the day watching TV, napping and some crafting and letter writing. 2a's Birthday (DIL)

C S Lewis was a pupil at Malvern, it is said he was inspired by the gas lights to write the Lion, the Witch and the wardrobe

156 Thursday Carpet fitters came today, they can enter through the front door, I can isolate in the kitchen and access the the rest of downstairs through the garden. When I got the house measured for carpets, they did the lounge as well, we decided not to replace the carpet in there because of the pets. Guess which muppet forgot to tell the carpet fitter? I spent the day painting the woodwork in the lounge and touching up the paint on the walls, evening spent putting upstairs back together, before collapsing into bed at 8pm. 

157 Friday I spent the morning removing paint from the wooden floors from the decorator, grouted and resealed the ensuite shower ready for my mums stay, cleaned all the light fittings and did some washing. Carpet fitters finished today. I then hoovered the new carpet 100 times, put everything back and enjoyed a chilly evening with a bottle of wine in the garden with my friend and neighbour.

158 Saturday Finally the house feels 'proper' clean. I still have the dining room and conservatory to paint, but the deep clean in both rooms is complete. I finished my jigsaw, took delivery of a new bed and received a lovely gift from a twitter friend from Hotel Chocolate. Rest of the day I made cards, wrote letters and got the parcels ready to send on Thursday.

On the blog this week:

A huge fail with the Jam Jar waste challenge

#Ad Trendhim Tan Leather Cardholder great for Fathers Day, but this is a late 21st birthday gift for child 5.

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Post Comment Love - 29th-31st May

So I was due to return to the UK on Wednesday from Dubai. I'm supposed to be alternating my time between both our homes, but for now I'm in the UK with the cat and dog. I could return to Dubai as I have a residence visa and my husband can travel to the UK, we'd both have to complete 4 weeks in total in quarantine and we have no idea if we are allowed to pop in and out yet. Also I've got no one to look after the cat and dog.

So many plans for lots of people have been cancelled this year, a friends wedding has been rescheduled till next June, birthdays held in lockdown and isolation, holidays cancelled. I'm not worried about things like that, I'm just waiting until the time comes I can see my husband and visit our children, one is in Australia, so that's a long way off.

My husband was supposed to be moving into an apartment in Dubai at the Marina this month and I was having the rest of our furniture and personal belongings shipped back to the UK. He's stayed put in the villa and we got a great reduction on the rent, it all helps especially as we're now running two homes full time, thankfully no mortgage here and I have a rental income coming in from the flat, but relocation is expensive, I had to buy a new car in the UK, I have a car in Dubai just sitting on the drive.

You'd think my stress levels would have risen and my anxiety had increased, but actually on the whole I'm very relaxed and chilled out and off my medication, I do have bad days, usually when I have to go shopping, but otherwise, I'm enjoying the time on my own.

Stephanie and I would love to know what you've been up to this week.

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One Daily Positive - Week 42

My last full week in the UK before I fly home on Monday. I had the benefit of car hire for the rest of my trip so spent it catching up and saying goodbyes, dropping off Christmas, Birthday gifts and cards as I won't be back until mid February.

287 Sunday Spent the morning shopping for food for Thing 1's birthday on Monday. Finished wrapping gifts and writing cards. Popped into say bye to my niece Mini Me as I won't see her again until February. Child 2 and 2a came for dinner and we popped into the pub to see child 3.

288 Monday Off to visit child 1 and onto meet Sarah (Mumof3World) for a coffee and catch up. Visited Thing 1 for his 5th birthday for tea and cake.

289 Tuesday Coffee in Ross-on-Wye with instagram friend Alison (rubbishwife) posted a couple of parcels and complained to the local specsavers about them using the private car park as their own.

290 Wednesday Spent the afternoon with child 5 in Cirencester. Had to return the car hire to Birmingham and collect a new one. It was £127 for 2 weeks, but they wanted to charge me £524 to extend for an extra 5 days. So I booked new car hire for £71 plus the cost of fuel to get up and down from Monmouth. Popped into a friends in the evening on the way home.

291 Thursday Took mum to Newport for the morning, had dinner with a friend at her home in the evening.

292 Friday Visited child 2 and 2a's friends in a near by town as they invited me over for a cuppa. Lunch with child 3. Afternoon spent cleaning the flat preparing it for winter.

293 Saturday Spent the morning cleaning the flat some more and after a coffee called in to see ex MIL and niece, then headed off to the local coffee shop to blog and called into see child 2 and 2a who live nearby also. Child 5 flew out to the US this morning for a week with work. I'm so proud of all the children, their achievements, places they've visited and their future ahead.

On the blog this week:

A walk round the Forest of Dean in search of the stain glass window on the Sculpture Trail
A book review with Clever Tykes
What are they building now in Dubai?

An InLinkz Link-up

Supporting Children living in poverty in South Africa

I spent 4 years living in South Africa and have been back many times to visit the charities I worked 
with when we lived there.

There are numerous charities in South Africa supporting children living in poverty in many different ways.

The Viva Foundation who supply affordable education and support the local community with a 
variety of projects. Including camping in a township, taking part in an arts project.

Dignity Dreams providing women with washable and reusable sanitary products. I reviewed them.

Santa Shoebox Project collect and distribute 110,000 Christmas gifts throughout the country each 
year. My Santa Shoebox journey.

Kungwini Welfare Organisation provide residential care for adults and children with learning 
difficulties, as well as providing education in their local community. I first started making scarves 
with them in 2014 raising funds for supplies for the workshop

I'm back in South Africa in September 2018. I've funded my own trip and will be staying with friends as I've done previously, since we relocated to Dubai.

What I'll be doing as well as visiting and supporting Kungwini and Santa Shoebox is to visit the 
children in the townships that I've met through these organisations over the years and bring a little  
extra happiness into their lives.

This could be through painting a classroom, holding a birthday party, donating toiletries and or 
educational supplies and I'd like you to help me succeed by donating £5 in exchange for a handmade scarf. That's it, that's all you have to do, just visit my PayPal account and donate.

In exchange for your £5, I'll select a scarf at random that I've made and post it to you. I'll tweet out a 
thank you, post the total amount raised, provide invoices and post photos online (with permission) of 
the children who have received your donation. Every penny raised will be spent directly on children 
living in poverty.

Visit my Paypal account, donate and then message me with your address on:

Twitter Facebook Instagram

One Daily Positive - Week 15 Sand Storms.

A fairly balanced week, got lots of jobs done, tidied the garden, met friends for coffee, lunch and dinner, spent time in the pool and started reading a book. I'm waking up around 6am and getting on with jobs around the house, walking Bob and drinking tea in the garden whilst blogging to make the most of the weather before I retreat indoors for the summer.

It's been an emotional week with Uncle Tim's funeral on Thursday. Torn between wishing I could be there, but knowing how difficult it would be, another part of my father gone and I'm not sure I could've said goodbye all over again.

It's also the teens 19th birthday today. This time last year we were all in the UK. Peter and I with the 5 kids. It had been 10 years since we were all in the same country at the same time. It was also the last time we had a whole family gathering while my father was still alive.

98 Sunday A lazy morning, took Peter to the airport as he's off to Cairo till Thursday with work. Called in at the garden centre on my way home.

99 Monday started early with a mammoth walk with Bob at 6.30am, did some washing and sat outside blogging. I was beaten indoors by 8.30am as it got to hot. Had a trip to Dragon Mart with a friend. Plans to chill out for the evening were rudely interrupted as my car broke down 2km from home and it was 2 hours later before I got home after recovery dropped me at the garage. Rush hour in Dubai is not fun.

100 Tuesday Visited the dog park with Bob for a couple of hours, did some washing, had lunch, went out for coffee,popped over the pool, tidied my shoe cupboard, made a start on some cleaning and did some batch cooking after sunset when it cooled down a little. I also applied for a job teaching at a local school.

101 Wednesday Another long Bob walk, then off to Mall of the Emirates to meet a friend for coffee and lunch. Moved the balcony furniture downstairs where it will be used, took Bob on another walk to wake myself up after sleeping all afternoon, then did some cleaning.

102 Thursday Took Bob for a 90 minute walk, Finished cleaning the house top to bottom, did a food shop and had coffee and drove home in a sand storm, went for a swim and got dinner ready for when Peter arrived home.

103 Friday went for a walk by the canal, but the heat beat us back after an hour by 10am, so it was breakfast, some shopping and BBQ after sun down. It's a dry 24 hours in Dubai, starting from 6pm tonight. That means you can't buy alcohol, although there is nothing to stop you drinking at home.

104 Saturday Took Bob for an early morning walk, then off to the Marina for coffee, home to an early lunch and chilling out for the rest of the day.

On the blog this week:

MySundayPhoto - The Opus Building, Dubai
BestBootForward, PoCoLo and TriumphantTales- What happened to pleases and thank yous? Managing mine and others expectations.
TriumphantTales and Animal Tales - Birthday parties for pets

Week 40 - One Daily Positive and Project 366

I ended the week in bed with the flu, I also lost my voice. I had a real proper invite to go out Thursday evening, but ended up cancelling after leaving work early as I was too unwell. It was Peter's birthday, one card arrived on time and that was it, no phone calls and a handful of Facebook messages.

I'm really NOT going to bother now with ensuring cards and gifts reach people on time. I've also been so busy the past few weeks with work that I've been rather lax on contacting family and friends, but too be honest it's not like I've had a string of messages and missed calls I've needed to reply to. I wrote a few letters over the weekend, where I knew I owed a reply.

No one seems to have missed us, so I guess I don't have to miss them anymore. Yes I know EVERYONE is super busy these days, time passes you all by, but guess what? the same happens here and I'm just not going to put myself out any more.

Sunday Day 276 Sleepy. Woken by the cat at 5.30am who wanted to play, it was the Islamic New Year and a public holiday.

 Monday Day 277 Doors. Once excited dog chewing on his bone outside.

Tuesday Day 278 Selfie. After being out for 13+ hours at work. Leaving and returning home in the dark.

 Wednesday Day 279 Cake. Really not well enough to be baking for Peter's birthday tomorrow.

 Thursday Day 280 Cuddles. Left work early, lost my voice and spent the day in bed.

Friday Day 281 Park. Safa Park 3kms up the road, being remodelled while the RTA dig a 6 meter deep canal, connecting the Creek to the sea in Jumeriah.

Saturday Day 282 My Town. Crossing over one of the 3 new bridges, built to accommodate the canal, which will be filled with water in November.