Why I'm writing to random strangers - Postcards of Kindness

Last year I'm came across this group Postcards of Kindness. The idea came about to write to people in care homes in the UK to combat loneliness and isolation and remind people there is always someone thinking of them. There are over 2000 care homes on the list and the group has over 40,000 members. T

As an expat of 9 years, I've also felt isolated and lonely on a daily basis.

I had my first penpal aged 10, I wrote to my best friend in York after we moved near South Wales, I've still got every letter she sent me up until our early 20's when family life got in the way and our letter writing fizzled out, we reconnected via facebook a few years ago.

I had a few occasional penpals and wrote regularly to older family members, always sending post cards to family and friends from holidays. I write to people around the world I've met online and have even travelled as far as Canada to meet one of my penpals.

In 2011 I started writing letters about our lives abroad, I also keep a copy of all my replies, to form a record for future generations to enjoy.

For me the writing of letters, strange as it may sound is about communication, it amazes me how many letters, cards I send that people don't even bother letting you know they've arrived. I don't expect everyone to write back, or even get an automatic response, but if I get post, I'll message the person on FB, we chat online for a little bit, I write back a week later with fresh news, they respond and we keep in touch.

Many people don't know what to write back, will say their life is boring and they've nothing to tell me, that's fine, they've messaged me with that and hey, we're now communicating.

The purpose of my letter writing to the care homes especially now during Covid-19 and restrictions on visiting, is to provide contact with the outside world and to let others know we're thinking of them. it also provides a great opportunity to open up discussions, share life stories and in some cases the activity of writing a reply. We also have a daughter in care, she's 25 miles from where I am, she can't read, doesn't verbally communicate, but I still write to her regularly, it gives the staff something to talk about, show her the picture on the card and pin on her wall as a reminder that she does have family that care, even if they can't visit or are abroad for most of the year.

These are 2 responses from homes I write to on a regular basis.

So what do I write?

Dear Residents

I hope everyone is well and keeping themselves busy during these strange times.

This week I've been making the most of the weather, doing some gardening and walking my dog up the Malvern Hills.

I've also got a cat, did you have pets? Do you prefer cats or dogs or have another favourite animal?

Do you have a garden where you live? Is gardening an activity you enjoy? 

Have you ever visited Malvern? Where's your favourite place in the UK and why?

Kind regards

Suzanne

Sometimes I'll write about living abroad and ask if they've visited the countries or lived abroad themselves, I'll ask about their travels, favourite foods, tv shows. I'll share my favourites and ask what theirs are.  

I've also started writing letters to our grandchild who is 9 months old. I have very few written words from my grandmother and realised after my fathers death a few years ago the only stuff he had written down were 'to do' lists that I cherish as they are in his hand writing, my mother signed cards and letters on his behalf. I no longer sign cards on behalf of my husband, I ask him to do it himself and will be encouraging him to make notes in a book we have called 'My Grandparents' for future generations to read.

One Daily Positive - Week 22 Started the painting downstairs

I've not been sleeping well last week, haven't done anything differently and in fact I had a really good start and end to the week, had a blip in the middle with anxiety levels when food shopping and I've now booked click and collect from Tesco, now I have a vehicle.

On my list this week is:
Learn to crochet (been carrying this forward since pre lockdown).
Family Tree.
Investigate returning to the OU to finish my degree.
Write letters to care homes, family, friends and continue writing letters for our grandchild for when she is older.

So far I've written about finding out we were going to be grandparents, the build up to the birth and future letters planned are meeting for the first time, why grandad didn't meet up for 2 weeks old, how granny and grandad met, raising dad, uncles and aunty, tales of daddy's childhood, family holidays, living abroad, the cat and dog and other family pets, important others in our lives and what life was like before and during lockdown. At only 8 months old, it will be a while before they get read. I've also bought a Grandparents life story book, but I've left it in Dubai. I've realised since my father died I actually have nothing personal written to me from him. I'll be doing this for future grandchildren also.

145 Sunday The tree in the front garden was cut down today, my friend will collect the logs for her open fire in a fortnights time. I hoovered, cleaned windows (I wish I could persuade the cat to stop sitting on the window sills, she presses her nose against the windows and I seem to be cleaning them daily) I baked a cake and cooked a full Sunday roast, I wrote 12 post cards as part of #postcardsofkindness to care homes around  he UK, then took Bob for a long walk, via a post box. The rest of the day was spent on video calls with friends and kids, doing a jigsaw and finishing off some various crafts.

146 Monday Had new electricity and gas meters installed first thing then off to Waitrose to do my food shop as I'd had to give up on Thursday, also popped int Wilko, no queue for either shop and I treated myself to a hydrangea for the garden. Spent the afternoon batch cooking for the rest of the week, wrote letters, ironed, mowed and watered the lawn and garden thoroughly whilst making dinner. Tried my hand at dot painting, not bad, but not something I'll be doing again, too fiddly.

147 Tuesday The plumber originally said he'd be coming on Thursday but messaged last night to say he was coming today, so up early to remove the bath panel, clean underneath and thoroughly clean a pathway to the bathroom. I spent most of the day just hanging around, couldn't get motivated to do anything. I spent the afternoon removing carpets from the bedrooms, landing and stairs and taking them outside after cutting them into manageable sizes. I then thoroughly hoovered and cleaned the floors, the carpets were in the house when we bought it back in 2002 and after 9 years of tenants, they need replacing, which will happen next week. A lovely response from one of the care homes in the UK I write to.

148 Wednesday A very slow start to the day just couldn't get motivated, then I remembered the green waste bin had been emptied, so I cut the fir tree, the neighbours hedge that had grown over into my front garden and did some weeding, wrote letters, tidied up and got back into my routine in the evening and was in bed at 9pm, can't get used to this long evenings. Still light at bedtime.

149 Thursday Slept for 8 hours solid and woke at 5am, feeling much better. I walked Bob to the post office to buy mum her weekly TV guide and post it plus a care package sent to child 4 and a couple of letters. Afternoon was spent putting up a curtain rail in the main bedroom and writing more letters. The evening was spent sitting on the front door step with my friend and neighbour Debbie, drinking wine.

150 Friday Woke up to the house being a mess, but rather than worrying about tidying up, I loaded Bob in the car and headed up the Malvern Hills for 2 hours, the rest of the day was spent hanging curtiains, sitting in the garden, tidying up. I filled in all the holes in walls around the downstairs, did some gardening and blogging. After tea, garden watered, everything tidied away, bath and bed.
Bob is getting much better going down the hills, he doesn't pull on the lead as much.

151 Saturday I spent the day cleaning the kitchen, hallway and downstairs loo and prepping it for painting, the woodwork has been finished and I'll paint the walls tomorrow. I took Bob out for a walk. I've a video call lined up with my friend Rosie who we met on twitter over 10 years ago now. My friend Cheryl called from South Africa, plus the usual calls with mum and Peter.

On the blog this week.

My Sunday Photo - Maintaining social distancing whilst shopping and visiting family and friends.

I'm still having down days but in general my anxiety in lockdown has greatly improved and I'm off my meds

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My Sunday Photo - Week 65. Communication

There's not much that excites me more than real, hand written letters through the post. Sadly not as many arrive as I send out. Four years in South Africa with a postal service that was dodgy to say the least and the recent mess up with our PO Box address in Dubai hasn't helped, but letters do get through eventually. 

Due to being back in work, I've not had the time to write as many letters as I would've liked over the past few months, so I'm spending today and tomorrow, making it a priority. I paid a visit to Hallmark cards and the local supermarket today to purchase new writing paper and several birthday cards, post cards and stamps.

I write to a variety of people, family and friends and a whole bunch of pen friends I've met on twitter and then in real life, including a trip last year to meet one in Canada. My mum and I write regularly with letters crossing over every week. I send postcards and random packages to the adult kids 

Keeping in touch, the old fashioned way

I read a post yesterday on @britmums by @kateonthinice about writing posts similar to other bloggers. http://www.britmums.com/forum/topics/have-

Today I'm doing the same. I read this post by @mummyblogger posted by @mumsnet http://slummysinglemummy.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/in-defence-of-the-written-word/ and after leaving my comment I realised I wanted to expand on this further in regards to letter writing.

I've written posts before about the importance of contact with family and friends back in the UK and the rest of the world. I tweet often about the disappointment when peoples lives become too busy to answer an email, yet alone spend time writing a letter.

I am aware many letters just don't get through to me, due to a postal service that shall we just say can be a bit dishonest.

My disappointment with the number of people I thought were friends, the number of family members who say ' they love hearing my news but have nothing to say back' has been counterbalanced by the love I have from twitter.

I have approximately 20 twitter penpals, who tweet when they receive a letter so I know its arrived and tweet when they reply so I know to look out for one.

If you want to be my penfriend, DM me or contact me on email visa this blog.

I love nothing more than post dropping through the door, I've even been excited to get my bills delivered on time.

Sad, but when youre an expat any and every bit of communication is welcomed and the contents poured over at every opportunity.