Monday, 6 August 2018

I feel displaced.

My home is in Dubai with my husband, cat and dog. But I also spend 6 months of the year in South Wales with my mother and adult children and family. I spend most of the summer in the UK. Peter joins me a for a week or two a couple of times. Most of the time I have car hire so I can visit child 1, 2, 2a and 5, who live in Gloucestershire and I'll visit 4 &4a in Belfast and they come here. Child 3 & 3a are based in Australia and currently travelling the world, I haven't seen them since July 2017.

I arrived the end of May, I'm not going back to Dubai till the end of October. I was here in February and March and will be back next March also. Peter joined me in June for child 2 & 2a's wedding then again in July for another wedding and we're meeting in Greece for a weeks holiday together next week. I've also got a trip to South Africa in September with a few days stop over in Dubai. I've also been to Belfast to visit child 4 & 4a and spent a week in Germany with friends.

I'm lucky to be able to travel so freely, but the novelty does wear off and after 8 years with 'not allowed to work' written on my visa, I need a change. That change won't happen till 2022 when Peter retires and we return to live in the UK and I can go back to work. I'll be 51 by then, will I want to work? Will I be able to work?

I have a few friends in Dubai, but contact always cuts back when I'm not there. The UK and Dubai are so different. Despite the heat in the UK this summer, which I'm enjoying as I'm actually able to get out and about and enjoy it, it's 200 degrees hotter than the sun in Dubai and the lifestyle is based indoors for much of the year.

In South Wales where we have a flat, I know all the neighbours, they know my drink in the coffee shop and my drink in the local pub. I have friends here, my family are here, but it's only for a short period of time and by October, my life will change again as I rebuild friendships back over in Dubai and get back into a different routine where I pretty much only have my cat and dog for company.

I did work over in Dubai for a year, as a teacher, but it became impossible to dedicate the time needed for my family around the world. I also worked as a volunteer for 4 years in South Africa, hence the reason for my trip there in September. When my father died in 2017, I turned down another job due to needing to be here, for both myself, my mother and the family, I don't think it will be possible for me to work again until we relocate in 4 years time.

When I return to Dubai my contact with family and friends is greatly reduced as there is a total ban on voice over internet, so no Skype, FaceTime or WhatsApp calls. It distances me from my family and friends. 

I currently don't feel that I actually belong anywhere. I'm busy when I'm in the UK. I'm busy when I'm in Dubai, but these constant changes mean that as soon as a settle into one place, I'm making plans to head back to another.






20 comments:

  1. I can understand why you feel that way but those few years will be here in no time and you'll be back to the UK with your family and have the husband, cat and dog to boot. Not many people can say they travelled as you have and that's quite something. I thought Dubai was more advanced than that.

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    1. Dubai has it's own app for voice over internet, but it means everyone downloading the app and a subscription charge which is a pain in the backside

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  2. Its something amazing to tell the grandkids though, jetsetting around the world to all of these amazing places! you've not led a boring life thats for sure!
    Thanks for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales, look forward to seeing you back next week!

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    1. no it's not been boring at all and the children have certainly clocked up some airmails on their own

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  3. Muat be hard living two different places that are completely different. Sending love X #pocolo

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    1. thank you, it does have it's moments

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  4. I can understand how you feel, I feel like I do not really fit anywhere sometimes and I have lived in the same town my whole life so I can imagine how difficult it must be to be spliting your life into two parts each year! Stay strong and sending hugs your way xx #PoCoLo

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    1. thank you, it can be quite demoralising on occasion

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  5. It is like you live two different lives...It must be hard for you.
    I did not know about the ban on voice over internet...How frustrating. x #PoCoLo

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    1. very frustrating, it makes contact with peter while I'm aware very expensive and difficult

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  6. I can understand why going back and forth would be difficult but I wouldn't be surprised if after all this traveling you end up missing it when you are able to settle down. Enjoy it while you can. #PoCoLo

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    1. oh i get itchy feet the moment I arrive anywhere, find it really hard to settle

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  7. It sounds so hard. It must be exhausting and you must feel that you reach a point where you fit in somehwere and then everything changes again and you have to move. I do really admire everything you do for your family. I know you would say 'anyone would do it', but you really do go above and beyond for them.

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    1. thank you Sarah, sometimes I think 'no more' but it's not in my nature to walk away

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  8. Wow! I am exhausted reading everything you are doing! I hope it gets easier and you can feel comfortable sooner rather an later. That way, you can enjoy it a little! xoxo #es xoxo

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    1. I'm sure once this phase is over it'll be replaced with some other drama

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  9. Hi Suzanne, you do live a very displaced and unsettled life. Having family spread all ove the place must be hard. I'm lucky that my parents live here and my sister does come over with her family every year or two. Life in Dubai sounds very isolated, especially after spending time in the UK, where the heat doesn't dictate your day and you can voice talk over the interent without thinking twice... 51 isn't too old to get back into the work force again, and I'm sure, when the time comes you'll find something you enjoy doing.

    Thank you for linking up with #keepingitreal and giving us a peep into your life.

    xx

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    1. I'm sure i'll find something to do when we return to the UK, just need to keep my hand in with the teaching so it's an option for me

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  10. They do say variety is the spice of life, and you've certainly got some variety - enjoy your holiday in Greece - thanks for cohosting #PoCoLo with me :)

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    1. you're welcome and so looking forward to Greece

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