The Wedding series - tips

This year we've had 2 weddings, child 2 and 2a in June, best friends in July and our niece is getting married in October. I've also been helping with the planning of child 4 and 4a's wedding next September.

L-R Mother in Law, Child 4 & 4a, Peter, Child 2a & 2, Me, Child 1, Child 5, Mum.

Child 3 & 3a were unable to make it over from Australia.

Weddings are BLOODY expensive. There are ways though to keep the costs down. As a guest the cost mounts up, especially for Peter and I, before we even buy our outfit and a gift we have to book flights from where we live in Dubai. However, we had a very small wedding at a registry office, I wore a prom dress to get married in, bought in the sales in Vegas, Peter needed a new suit for work anyway, we had a 3 night for the price of 2 hotel deal in Chester, no reception, no photographer and no cake, although 3 sets of friends turned up to surprise us and we had a meal afterwards in an Italian restaurant on the way back to the car park.

There are so many new things to think about these days that we never had to worry about and the main one for me is that guests don't share photos online during the day and that they leave the Bride and Groom to post first a few days afterwards. It also makes for a nicer day if the wedding is social media free, the wedding photographer will certainly appreciate being able to take photo's freely without mobile phones blocking their view. There are so many new ways to share photo's in high resolution with the guests and I found an app that would allow photo's to be shared on app so family and friends who can't make the day can still share in the event. Child 3 and 3a were unable to travel over from Australia for Child 2 and 2a's wedding.

So after the initial shock of 2 of the children announcing they were getting married and a bank transfer made, it was time to find out if and what input we were to have. We're now someone's in laws and so far I think it's going reasonably well.

Both Peter and I are step parents to each others children. We needed to establish our roles as step parents at our children weddings. At child 2's wedding his mother wasn't invited so no worries about the top table, but child 4's father will be at his wedding but it is Peter who will sit at the top table with me. These are all issues that have to be resolved before the big day when it comes to family and the modern day dynamics.

Then of course there was the outfits. I can hardly wear the same dress at all 4 weddings? Well technically I could but as 3 of them are family do's, I really didn't want to appear in all the photos dressed the same. Living in Dubai there are some fantastic sales and I bought the outfit for the first 2 weddings in Debenhams. There isn't a lot of stuff available for the Mother of the Groom, everywhere focuses on the Mother of the Bride and I fall into 'occasional wear'

There's also the wedding gift to account for. When I asked the internet about what was a reasonable gift amount, it varied greatly.

Something I've noticed quite a lot is there often isn't a 'plus 1' on invites anymore. Usually the invitation is addressed to a couple, whether married or not. There have been quite a few single guests at both the weddings and at wedding number 2, I spent most of the day on my own as Peter was the Best Man, I searched to find out what my role as Wife of the Best Man was, but only came across the partners moaning about how they felt it unfair they sat on their own all day and in some cases turned the invite down, so I wrote about how single guests can feel more involved and not so isolated.

We've got one more wedding this year, the reception is being held in a barn in a field. I've selected my outfit based on the potential weather and it will look great with my bright yellow hunter wellies should it rain.

Next year's wedding is taking place under one roof and I can certainly see the advantages of doing this.

A couple of these posts contain sponsored content, but as I was already writing posts about the wedding and like I said with mounting costs, every penny helps, especially when there are 3 in 1 year.

The Mother of the Groom with Compton House of Fashion

As the Mother of 4 boys, I potentially have 4 occasions as Mother of the Groom. The first of which is taking place this June 2018. The 2nd in September/October 2019.

This post is in collaboration with Compton House of Fashion who got in touch with me in March to ask me to share my experiences of finding a suitable outfit as Mother of the Groom and I must say I found their website extremely helpful. Although I won't be visiting their store as I live in Dubai and arrive in the UK only 2 days before our son's wedding, it was lovely to see the variety of outfits and accessories they have available. They feature a range of ages of models and offer advice on weddings and etiquette as well as running their own blog which offers help and advice for the Mother of the Groom.

Until Compton House of Fashion got in touch with me, I'd seen very little on the internet about the Mother of Groom. The high street shops focus on the Mother of the Bride and I seem to fall into Occassion Wear.

The harsh reality is there is no role for the Mother of the Groom compared to the Mother of the Bride who takes centre stage after the Bride, the Father of the Bride who gives the Bride away, the Groom who makes a speech, the Best Man who makes the main speech and the Father of the Groom who is also part of the Wedding party as he at least gets to wear the same suits as the rest of the above, as do the ushers who happen to be the Brides brother and the 2 of the Grooms brothers.

And that's where it ends. There is no role for me. Apparently I could write a letter to the Mother of the Bride, showing my interest in the upcoming event and as the parents of the Groom it is traditionally our role to organise the rehearsal dinner, stand in line after the couple to receive guests and to dance with the Groom during the mother-son dance. But I have no idea if this is part of the plan.

I'm sounding quite bitter. I'm not, I'm slightly bemused. I had thought in 2018 we'd done away with all this tradition and besides, my husband and I eloped as a) we wanted to do things our way b) we'd both been married before and been swept away with other peoples ideas of what should and shouldn't be happening and c) we'd just bought a house and didn't want or need the expense. I really hadn't given a lot of thought about my role as Mother of the Groom until now.

I did take part in making a booking for our son's suit fitting and order and paid the bill, but my thoughts on the large number of suits was not wanted and I recommended a photographer, an old school friend of mine. All I had left to do was transfer the rest of the money I promised into the Bride's account for her and her mother to spend as they see fit.

So we've handed over a lump sum to the Bride, replied to the invitation with our meal preferences and booked our flights and car hire.

At the moment I have absolutely no idea what I will be wearing on the day as I'm still waiting to find out what colour the Mother of the Bride is wearing. I also have to avoid the colours of the Bridal party. So I've got a couple of dresses, shoes and a hat (is the Mother of the Bride wearing a hat?) 

Last month, son no 4 announced he was engaged also. But thankfully this wedding won't take place for a year or two and hopefully by then and after a friends wedding in July and our niece's wedding in October, I'll have this outfit choosing sussed out.

Injecting some colour into my life and trying new things in Dubai

I joined the local leisure centre. By local I mean it takes me 3 minutes to walk there, by crossing the road at the end of our garden.

There's an outdoor pool and a gym (as yet unexplored) and a cafe (as yet open when I've been there) 

There are plenty of sun beds and umbrellas for shade and the pools temperature is controlled, perfect for the hot summer months.

It takes an hour out of my day to go for a swim and is already after a week benefiting my health, I can feel I have a lot more movement in my neck and shoulders already.

I used to belong to a gym in South Africa and used it most days and we had a decent sized pool in the garden, but gym membership in Dubai is very expensive and as I now spend half the year in the UK, it hasn't been worth it. This gym costs £400 a year and for a small fee I can take visitors with me.

I've also inquired about attending some sewing classes and have finally got round to taking my sewing machine and over locker in for service and minor repairs. I did a lot of sewing in South Africa, making bags and bunting that I sold for charity to raise funds for educational supplies, but since moving to Dubai, there's a ban on fundraising and even advertising charities unless they're registered with the UAE Government, so all my stuff has been gathering dust, but my plan now is to get back into the swing of making things to sell over in the UK when I'm there.

Having spent most of 2017 in the UK I was living in Jeans and t-shirts, I was in the UK in February and March for a month also during the snow and wore so many layers I could hardly move. It's nice to be back in Dubai for some warmer weather, sadly it will be too hot soon to enjoy the outside (other than using the pool over the road) but by the time the heat kicks in at 45c I'll be back in the UK for summer and I've decided I need to revamp my wardrobe.

Peter and I have 3 weddings this year in the UK. Our eldest son is getting married, Peter is best man at another, both in the summer and Peter's niece is getting married in the autumn which is going to be a casual affair.

I must say the last wedding excites me the most. No pressure on what we wear, attending as guests only with no responsibilities. For the first two weddings Peter is wearing suit hire and forms part of the Groom party with formal wear, it's not stressing me out what I'm wearing but I do feel a little out on my own when it comes to my choice of outfit, particularly with our son's wedding as I have to avoid the brides colours (red and yellow) and avoid clashing with the Bride's Mother (still don't know what she's wearing either)

Due to ill health over the past year, I've lost a bit of weight, as in I'm now back to the weight I was a few years ago, which means I've been able to wear so many more of my favourite dresses I've hung onto and I've had fun buying new outfits for the upcoming weddings, all of which are suitable for the occasions and for day to day wear in Dubai for popping to the malls, out for brunch or dinner.

I do need to invest in some new underwear and sort through my accessories

Dresses I've been wearing around Dubai and upping my expat game. It's so much easier to wear dresses in Dubai, teamed with a pair of sandals and I'm good to go. No need for jackets, coats or sensible shoes in case it rains over here.

Dress - Jasper Conran

Dress - Mr Price, South Africa

Gap

Dresses I've purchased for the weddings, as yet undecided what I'll wear for which yet and I'll need jackets and a hat and possible water proofs although the first two are summer weddings, they are both in the UK. Shoes are already sorted.

Jacques Vert

The Collection at Debenhams

Debut

M & Co

Dress Sea Salt, Jacket Quiz for the Autumn Wedding, need shoes but have yellow Hunter wellies should it be wet as the reception is in a barn.

However the dress I'm looking forward to wearing the most is this one, but I'm not sure for what occasion it is best suited, but we do have brunch this Friday.

Cheryl Arthur - South Africa