Conversations with my gardener

Him:      I have a problem, I can’t carry the food home you’ve given me

Me:        How is this MY problem? You need to make a plan

                15 minutes later

Him:      I don’t have a problem anymore

Me:        Tell me how did you solve your problem?

Him:      I ate my food

Him:      The spade won’t work

Me:        How can a spade not work?

Him:      I can’t make it work

Me:        Go fetch me the spade and I’ll show you how it works (puts shoes on ready to demonstrate

                how to use a spade)

Him:      (returns with spade)

Me:        Oh you mean the spade is broken (looks at the 2 halves, buys new spade)

Him:      I’ve washed the lawn mower

Me:        OK, thank you

Him:      Where must I empty the bucket of water I put the lawn mower in?

Me:        You put the lawn mower in the water?

Him:      Yes

Me:        It’s electric, it won’t work now

Him:      Why?

Me:        It’s electric, electricity and water don’t mix, give you your phone

Him:      Why?

Me:        I’m going to run it under the tap for you and clean it

Him:      No, don’t do that you’ll break it

Me:        That’s what has happened to the lawn mower

Him:      Thank you for explaining. I won’t do it again

Me:        (buys new lawn mower)