Thursday 22 March 2012

Want To Improve Your Life? This Mum Proves It Can Be Done.

The following extract is taken from @kateonthinice Groovymum blog

As mums we can get bogged down in all the business of it all. It can get us down and we can lose sight of who we used to be or who we aim to be. What can we do to change that? In this guest post from Polly, she tells us how six months ago she decided to take charge of her own life and to talk about how it has gone since. Read what she has to say and then join us at the Twitter Party next Tuesday from 1pm-2pm which you can read all about by clicking here'

@pollyburns2 blogs about her life as a mum and how she is getting her groove back. She shows us how she can do it, with young children rather than waiting for them to grow up to get her life back.

For me it's not children that have contributed to me losing my groove. When I had my first son when I was aged 20 and he turns 20 in May, my life hadn't actually started. I left home aged 17 and moved away from my home town for work. I spent 2 years as a single mum, married, 2 more children, endless part time jobs including a stint in a chip shop and night classes, divorce, met my husband (married for 10 years this October) inherited 2 step children (the eldest being profoundly disabled) went back to school, got my teaching degree, worked as a lecturer for 3 years training teaching assistants and teaching autistic students, worked as a child welfare officer for The FA and studied for a degree in Psychology and Criminology.

I guess like Polly I wasn't prepared to put my life on hold to raise a family, it ran side by side, often not very smoothly and in September 2010 the 3rd child left home aged 18 to follow a career, like his step brother before him. Step daughter is in residential care and settled into her life time adult home.

So where? how? when? did I lose my groove?

September 2010 to January 2011 was a very busy period for me, exams, tidying up lose ends at work, making sure all my students had passed their NVQs, inducting a new welfare officer, packing, sorting, decorating, renting the house, amending policies, change of address, endless farewells to family and friends and numerous trips to London to sort out the visas.

January 2011 - July 2011 was full of our new and exciting life in South Africa, house hunting, cars, bank accounts, utilities and all without any assistance from hubbies company, including a lost container at customs. Endless family visiting, my eldest, step son, parents, hubbies Mother and sister, no time to breathe,

August 2011 every thing stopped, there were no more visitors lined up, no more hassles to sort, kids settled in school, hubby settled in work and travelling in Africa and back to Europe...and me?

That was the problem there was nothing for me, no job, no studies and only 2 kids instead of the usual 5 on weekends or popping down to Reading to visit son, food shopping to Gloucester to take step daughter out for the day, no football club to fundraise for and no friends to have coffee with.

I stumbled across Kate, I don't recall how or when. I don't so blog hops, I don't join network sites, I don't describe myself as a yummy mummy or a mummy blogger. But something about Kates blog hop drew my attention. I hadn't lost my groove because my kids had got in the way, I wasn't suffering with PND, I'd done all the new baby stuff, the difficult divorce. I'd just lost my groove and happen to be a mum because I'd moved 5764 miles from home.

Like Polly I find that tuesday mornings I'm looking for Kates new challenges, it helps me reflect on the week that has gone, helps me to focus to realise that I have done things that are worthwhile, that I do have value as a mum, a wife, a person and it helps me set myself little challenges to get me out more, to volunteer, to meet people and it gives me like minded people to talk to, has introduced more traffic to my blog, encouraged me to not be put off by joining other neetworks and has helped me meet more expats that understand where I'm coming from to realise .... I AM NEVER ALONE


  1. Wow, what a lot you have done! As you say, nothing ever stopped you from doing anything! I have only one child, you managed to keep a life even with five. Funny how we can lose our groove even after most of the child rearing is done - you were transported out of your comfort zone and when the whirlwind slowed down, you had to find a new groove. Great post and a good reminder that we lose our way at all sorts of times in our lives, not just when we've got young children. Polly x

    1. Thanks Polly, it doesn't matter why we lost our groove, or how it's affected us, other than we have been affected and will be affected again for a variety of reasons, being part of a group has really helped me focus