I get myself in such a pickle...I've lost count the number of times I've sat there, being told what I've said, done or talking about doing is upsetting them. Be it because they can't afford it, don't agree with me, or think I'm dreaming and are worried I'll end up getting hurt.
I always find people feel they can say anything they want to me and me, being me sits there, worrying about how it would upset them if I told them 'please don't speak to me like that, I'm upset by your comments' because I know it would upset them, that we would have issues, that they would reply 'why can't you just listen, realise you're making a mistake, you're upseeting me with your reaction...I was only saying...'
But that's not my problem any more, I'm going to stop being polite, stop agreeing with them because I don't want to upset them, stop worrying about their feelings when something they say upsets me.
It's not my problem anymore, they obviously don't think it's their problem how I react to a 'few home truths' So from now on I shall say 'your comments are upsetting me, I don't like the way you feel you can critisie my choices, I was only telling you because I thought you'd be interested, not so you could judge me so openly' and if my response upsets them, that's their problem, I won't say it with malice. I shall just say it the same way they do to me and I'll not worry about the consequences, if they're grown up enough to tell me, then they can deal with how it makes me feel and I'll not worry about their feelings, that's their problem.
Hear Hear! Good for you! (oops, that was judging, but in a positive way...)ReplyDelete
Now I need to take that step!
easier said than done though, dont you think?Delete
Go you......I am the same...I panic if I say something to someone and then think that they may take it a way other than the one intended, and I will go out of my way to be nice to everyone - even my bigoted neighbour who I can't stand.ReplyDelete
I need to take a leaf out of your book and stick up for myself a little bit more...
So glad you found me on twitter btw :-)
havent actually had to put it into practice yet...lolDelete