My top tips on interior design for those perfect instagram posts for #myhousethismonth

Those of you who have arrived here based on the title alone, then carry on, you're already doing well and you know it.

The rest of you are just intrigued because you know me well enough to realise I'm not being serious.

But if you want some tips then here they are:

• Ensure each room looks exactly like page xx of Next home or whatever store is in vogue and similar to everyone else.
• Purchase display towels and make sure your family know they can't use them (actual conversation over heard in IKEA in Dubai) I know people who have 'display towels'
• Spend an hour or two every day staging photos and tidying up for the perfect shot
• Move that house plant around for it to appear in every photo
• In all bathroom shots make sure a) yours looks like everyone else and b) that pot plant is placed near the loo
• Make sure you only buy or just tag expensive wall paper/paint companies
• Spend a fortune on buying the latest 'must have' cushion in the latest colour, for the photo
• Don't up cycle anything, if you want shabby chic then buy it already done like that
• Paint your walls grey and call it greige, same with all other colours, give them a made up name
• Have a glass of wine, fresh flowers and freshly baked bread/cake in every shot also

Or you could do what I do.

Show the reality of your home, the mess, the work in progress, realise that the above is not true to life.

Here's how my house looked on Tuesday when I wrote this post and after a 2 hour tidy up. If you click on the #myhousethismonth hashtag on instagram you'll see how far off the mark I am with every being qualified to offer you a top tip on interior styling or design.

Cushions used to stop Bob the dog making himself comfy on the sofa.

We rarely draw the curtains and the bed only ever looks like the 2nd photo on the day I change the sheets, I made it especially for this post.

Entrance hall and dumping ground, used for everything that comes in and out of the house. Yes, the bike really does live there.

Kitchen is hit and miss, for this photo I just removed everything that shouldn't be there and dumped it on the stairs.

The lojunge at the end of every day and within half an hour of peter being up, easy to tidy, just plump up the cushions. The single chair also has to be dog proofed or he'll sleep on there at night and when we're out.

My lovely outdoor space on the balcony and the bedroom floor that everything gets dumped on when it rains, as keeps happening.

It takes around 45 minutes to sweep the sand up after a storm and everything gets set up, then I use the chairs to dry the washing on.

Then it rained the following morning and everything jsut got dumped in the dining room.

Is your home insta ready all the time? 

Mine is like anyone of the above photo's at anytime and I welcome anyone in at anytime also. 

I don't have time and energy to keep it looking perfect. 

It's a home, it gets lived in.

Parenting highlights. Our youngest child.

A holiday to France with a 2 year old who yelled 'Mum' all the time but it sounded like he was saying 'Merde' the French for shit.

The eldest then aged 14 who was tasked with looking after the same child mentioned above aged 3, who ran away and ended up involving the police who shut the park down in Abergavenny at the Mr Blobby family fun day, finally locating said child looking for coins behind the slot machines.

The time when the same child also in France got his head wedged in a bench aged 4 and with his speech impediment sound like he was saying 'I'm a duck' instead of 'I'm stuck' and we ignored his cries for help saying 'there's nice' and 'quack quack'

Again, the same child, aged 5, and in France again who called me a 'crap mummy' all day because I said no to buying a fire truck as there was no room in the car and I refused to leave his older brother behind as he suggested.

The same trip when I said no to an ice cream and he ran off, leaving us frantically searching for him for almost an hour, till one of his brothers found him hiding under the ice cream sign.

Then aged 7 sparking a full search on Perranporth beach with BBC seaside rescue filming our frantic moments locating him, who then said they wouldn't be using the material they shot as I wasn't upset enough.

The eldest again then aged 18 taking said child above, aged 8, to the toilets in San Francisco, arguing with him over washing his hands and then found 30 minutes later strolling across the Golden Gate Bridge on his own.

We have parented 5 children together over the past 20 years. Said child above is the youngest of the 5. He turns 20 next week.

Using up the plastic in our house

A while ago I purchased paper straws, food nets for when I was shopping and reusable coffee cups and drinking bottles. I've had a collection of Tupperware for quite a few years, that we for storing left overs, freezing batch cooked food and storage of smaller items.

All the above I've been using religiously as well as my own shopping bags and doing my bit where ever I can to reduce the amount of plastic waste in our home, which does involve changing some of the items I used to buy as there was too much packaging on them. Buying loose rather than multi pack even if it does cost more, which is often false economy anyway.

This weekend I had a tidy of the kitchen and discovered I had loads of plastic shoved in the back of drawers that I no longer had use for, but what to do with it all. Throwing away defeats the whole point of reducing plastic waste so I've decided to put it to use and just use it all up. I will however dispose of it where possible correcting, straws I will put through the shredder first so they can't endanger wildlife in the sea should they end up there. The zip lock bags will be used to store none perishable items, such as craft and hobby items.

I'm looking to purchase the reusable cling wrap next time I'm in the UK.

I'm going to replace our metal bathroom bins with recycled bins that can be emptied then washed and sterilised to save on the use of bags for lining and the old bins will be used as containers for plants in the garden.

I've been buying bulk and bagged products of hand wash, washing detergent, washing up liquids, shampoo, conditioner and show gels and decanting to smaller bottles I already own, for a while now.

I try to buy ethically sourced products and actively avoided peanut butter made from palm oil when I made the dogs treat biscuits rather than buying the foil wrapped ones I was purchasing weekly.

I'm doing my best here, I really am. Every little really does help.

One Daily Positive - Week 14

More dental work, more medication. Temps hit 36c this week and the humidity levels are climbing. I'm spending most of summer in Dubai this year, although I have 2 weeks out during Ramadan, which will help and 2 weeks the end of June.

I'm so bored. It always seems like I do an awful lot in the day, but I don't have kids or the mess that comes with it, or a job to switch off from and with Peter out the house every day for 10 hours, there's a lot of time to fill, even more so this week with him away.

Dubai isn't a big place, the furthest distance I'd drive is from home to The Creek, the other end of the city which is 35km/21miles. Time of day, ie work/school runs depends on whether it takes me 30 mins or an hour.

Dental work went well, but I really felt the effects of the time I've spent in the dental chair with my chronic neck pain and had felt really ill a couple of times with migraine and dizzy spells.

90 Sunday Next phase of dental surgery, only 2 hours this time and 8 stitches in my lower jaw. The most painful part to date was the removal of the stitches from the upper gum. I cried. Home and spent the day snuggled on the sofa. Peter flew to Saudi for most of the week, he bought me flowers for Mother's Day.

91 Monday I walked Bob then took myself off to City Walk where I wanted to blog and drink coffee, sadly no where to just sit and relax other than benches in the sun, so I came home, made lunch and set the garden up to sit outside, but it got too hot. Made some soup for dinner, watched TV, did some blogging and paid some more bills. Peter phoned and said he was actually home tomorrow, not Wednesday

92 Tuesday Took Bob to the dog park, coffee and natter for us humans. Called in at doggy day care  for Bob to have a bath on the way home. Spent the afternoon in bed and read a whole book. Went to bed early with a migraine. Peter arrived home late afternoon, i didn't thik he was back till Wednesday.

93 Wednesday Bloody raining again, everything brought indoors, did some washing, went out for coffee and back to bed with the migraine. We need a new gas meter at our rental house in the UK, another thing to sort grrrrrrrr.

94 Thursday A visit to the dentist to have the final stitches removed, booked the dates for the next part of the surgery. I have 2 months rest now for graft and implants to settle/heal. I stopped off for a coffee and had a gel mani and pedi. Ended the day with a walk on the beach.

95 Friday Back to the beach with Peter for the morning, then stopped for lunch on the way home. Out early evening for a food shop and a coffee and spent the rest of the evening watching TV and snacking.

96 Saturday Coffee at the garden centre, looked at getting a new car, popped in at a mall for a bit of shopping, I picked up some new books, then home to chill out, watch movies and have dinner. neither of us feeling too well. Peter with heavy cold and sore throat, me, just me and constantly ill or in pain.

On the blog this week:

The return of #mysundayphoto and that means more construction photography. Dubai Water Canal and Tolerance Bridge.

Creating a garden in the desert. Finally the sand and rain has gone.

Does your face fit? Can you play the game to fit in?

My Dental Implant journey Half way there now.

What to blog about when your teens say 'no more'

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My dental implant journey

In 2017 my front tooth fell out. I picked it up and just shoved it back in, visiting a dentist in the UK the following morning, wedging it back in place he informed me it was on a post and if it fell out again that would be it.

I've known for a long time that I've had bone degeneration and receding gums and eventually I would have to face the expensive and timely implant journey I am now on.

I don't have a fear of dentists but I've been avoiding it as long as possible. a) we didn't have the spare money b) I have chronic neck pain and find sitting of any kind difficult for long periods of time. This includes flights, cinema, hairdressers, in a car. I suffer with severe migraines. c) I've had some bad and I mean really bad dental treatment in the past.

I'd researched dental implants in the past and had a couple of consultations over the years. the route was to have the teeth removed and implants put in on the same day. I knew with the bones I have this wasn't the best option and when I raised it was dismissed, so it all got put on hold.

Over Christmas I heard a snap in my mouth when eating and my front tooth was loose again. I asked for recommendations online and after several weeks of research I found myself at the clinic of Dr Geoffrey Shape in Dubai at the Perio Clinic.

You may ask why I'm giving you his name and it's because he is good, his team are good and he listens, something I've had problems with in the past.

On our first meeting I informed him that he wasn't getting his hands on my teeth or my money unless he listened to me first. He listened.

My teeth were in poor condition, bits missing, rotten teeth hiding under crowns and I was slightly embarrassed by the state of my mouth. I also told him about my inability to sit for periods of time and that I didn't have dental phobia, I just can't sit still......he listened.

And so my journey began. I had a full break down of costs and time frame for procedures, which was amended with consultation as time went on.

Phase 1. X ray. Broken tooth removed, mould for plate.

Phase 2. 4 further teeth removed, one from each corner of my mouth, a deep clean of my gums and a new plate fitted.

In was in a lot of pain and discomfort once the injections wore off but I think having all those injections in each corner of my mouth with hindsight was not a good idea, however it did make the deep clean far less painful when I've had it done in the past without injections. One socket had a stitch in it which irritated me.

Sent away for a few weeks for gums to heal and to get used to wearing a plate.

The first plate fell out every time I drank anything and I couldn't eat with it in.

The second plate was a mouthful and for the first few weeks I felt like I was choking on it, but as the gums healed the plate fitted better.

Both plates took some getting used to, my speech was affected, they were constantly moving in my mouth, food got stuck underneath the plate and in the first few weeks I was uncomfortable going out wearing them for longer than an hour or two. I soon adjusted. I don't wear the plate when I'm at home or walking the dog. I have no problem with removing my teeth when I'm out to rinse them under a tap and I take them out when I'm driving and as soon as I can. A friend suggested Poligrip which has helped reduce the amount of food that gets underneath.

Phase 3. 3D scan

Phase 4. Bone graft into the sinus and two posts fitted. Total time in dental chair = 4 hours with a short break in between teeth.

I took a cushion for my neck and a hot water bottle for my back which the receptionist kindly refilled half way through. I downloaded some pod casts and at one point almost drifted off.

Now I'll not lie, but it wasn't as painful or as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. The injections are the worse, but he used a numbing cream fist which helped. My face was uncomfortable as my lips were stretched and my neck hurt from tipping it back on an angle, but time passed quickly and I drove myself home afterwards.

I was surprised when the stitches wore off that I wasn't in any pain and managed to eat and drink that night as normal, soft food only. Again the stitches were the biggest problem, there were 8 of them and I could feel them all the time. Wearing the plate helped an awful lot.

2 days later, some swelling.

4 days later and back to normal.

Phase 5. Removal of the stitches and the last implant post, lower left jaw fitted. 2 hours in the dental chair.

The first time I cried was when he removed the stitches from my upper gum, it was so painful, but he was kind and patient and gave me a low dose of injection to numb the area. The worse part of the lower jaw implant was the vibration of the drilling, my ears were ringing. No pain after the injections wore off, drove myself home, ate and drank as normal. I did feel sorry for myself though.

Recovery time longer due to my neck hurting more this time.

I've been eating and drinking as normal, although I have changed my diet slightly but mainly eating soft foods such as fish and rice for dinner most night, yogurts, honey and bananas and porridge for breakfast. I've not been eating bread, red meat (unless it's minced) and I've drastically reduced my sugar intake and stopped eating sweets and chocolate. In fact I noticed when I ate some chocolate I had a migraine within a few hours and I've lost around 4kg which is doing me some good.

There are a lot of do's and don't's to follow after the surgery and in particular the bone grafting. Avoid sneezing, no swimming or exercise for a week afterwards, stop smoking for two weeks after surgery,.

One thing that should've been added to the list was 'don't attempt to blow up a balloon' your head will feel like it's exploded.

Phase 6. Stitches out, they bloody well hurt so a local injection was given, plate adjusted and dates set for the next few and final phases for a temporary tooth for the front as the gum has to be re cut to expose the post and some minor surgery to ensure the gum heals properly and looks nice around the new tooth.

The other 2 implants have a metal cap on them and I can feel them in my mouth, with my tongue and there's a slight metallic taste.

The following morning after the injection wore off, I've realised the 2nd plate is now too big. I did mention it felt like it was pushing on the back of my teeth, but when I ate today it kept falling out, so I'll have to go back again to get it sorted.

I'll update this post as time goes on, but for now, other than sorting the plate out, I've got a break from the dentist for the next few months. Next appointment May 26th 2019.

Phase 6 Dental plate no longer fitting. Back to the dentist for the gum to be cut, dental implant post exposed, temp tooth fitted and several stitches in my gums. the plan is for the gum to heal around this tooth as it will be visible when finished.

The tooth is fitted with a screw in the back of the tooth which is tightened and then the hole filled.

I left the surgery in agony, not my tooth, although my gum is sore, but with my neck. I couldn't sit still, I was fidgeting and cried with the pain from sitting for so long.

Next phase is a mould, 3 teeth made and then the following week the teeth fitted and a final check up and I'll be done by the middle of July.

Blogging about teens and what to write about next.

My family.

Then

Now

I was prompted to write about this subject my lovely blogging and now real life friend Sarah from Mum of Three World.

Sarah is mum to 3 teenagers aged 13, 15 and 17. Her blogging journey has documented her family life and it's been great reading about their exploits as a family over the past few years and watching the children grow.

For me as a mum of 5 whose full time parenting journey ended in 2013, with the youngest child returning to the UK to complete his schooling while we lived in South Africa, who is also turning 20 later this month, I will no longer own a teenager. I've owned teenagers for 16 years. It's been great knowing that I've not been alone as Sarah discusses issues with leaving her children at home, parties and alcohol and part time jobs.

These things I've been through myself as a parent and it can be fairly lonely. I have few friends my age with children at similar stages in their lives as I had my first child aged 20 and at 47 now collecting 2 step children some 20 years ago also, I've really benefited from blogging and creating a support network with people, like Sarah who I now know in real life.

Sarah has found herself in a situation that I also reached a few years ago where my kids said 'no more blogging' 'no photos' and I had to respect that, but then I came to realise there was a way around it. The things my kids did had an impact on my life, I needed to respect their privacy, but I also needed an outlet for the way I was feeling. So naming my children child 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 helped, not posting pictures without their permission and running blog posts past them first, with an explanation as to why I was writing them helped immensely and these days the kids now all adults would be deeply offended if I didn't celebrate their success online.

Of course I removed personal details, I still ask first for permission to post, like writing about our Daughter in law and I make sure before I share any of their news online, that they've already shared it.

I want to be able to talk about their engagements. weddings, visits to see us and us to them. It's part of my life that I'm sharing. I talked openly about Empty Nest Syndrome, having a child in boarding school which was published in the Daily Mail A 'no photo' rule was enforced by child 5.

Over the years I've added more sections to my blogging. I talk about my charity work in South Africa, write monthly gardening and home posts, blog about our travel experiences, the cat and dog feature heavily in my blog posts as does our daily lives living abroad as expats and more recently my physical health and dental implant surgery.

There are loads of posts sitting in 'drafts' that I want to publish but am waiting for permission to do so, it will involve face to face conversations, when I feel the time is right.

Sarah has kindly offered that people who have sensitive subjects to write about can share anonymously over on her blog and I think it's a great idea and I will taking her up on the offer, although having told you this I will now have to alter my style of writing.

I will carry on writing about family life and teenagers and look forward to sharing my journey as a grand parent when the times comes. There's a trip to Australia to visit child 3 later this year, child 4 is getting married in September. I will be writing posts about these events. I will continue to write new posts in retrospect about the teenage years, we have a profoundly disabled daughter whose needs constantly change and we have issues with her care providers from time to time that I will also discuss as it is all still a huge part of my/our life.

We may have stopped parenting, but it doesn't mean we don't have things to discuss about our children still.

I also have a lot of experience working as a youth worker in the 90's, child protection officer in the 00's and as a teacher with special needs in primary, secondary and 16+ with many examples I can share as a family support worker also, tackling underage pregnancy, abuse and neglect, disability, drugs and alcohol. I don't have to use personal experiences of my own family to be able to support and help others.

But for now, i'll leave you with a picture of our furbabies, who have filled the gap between parenting and empty nest nicely over the past few years.

Finally, Sharon from After the playground has a post with some tips on writing about teens and a list of fellow bloggers to follow. I won't rewrite it, I'll just leave the link here and you can explore it yourself.

Does your face fit? Playing the game to fit in, in real life and online.

Life as an adult can be tough, especially when it comes to making friends and meeting new people.

As a child I was always on the edge of the popular groups, I didn't really fit into any particular group.

I swam, played sports in school, did drama, was in the orchestra but I also liked to go out the school gates in years 4 & 5 (now 10 & 11) for a smoke at lunch time.

I wasn't academically clever, I wasn't  particularly talented in any activities. I didn't have the right clothes, hair, lifestyle that suited any group of friends. I didn't have a best friend throughout school either.

In the work place I sort of didn't fit very well either, I joined in with stuff but wasn't the first of even the 10th person people thought of when planning a night out.

As a mum in the school playground I was fairly absent as I worked full time, I was never really a fan of play groups either.

All my friends and I have quite a few that I met with regularly, talk to weekly online and value are random, few of them know each other, they all have other friends also they do different things with also. We've met through school, as neighbours, through our kids or online. All the relationships have been organic, just through chatting not through shared interests, although we do have similar thoughts and feelings on things. We also are people who have real lives and share their ups and their downs and are none judgemental and respectful of each others lives.

There have been a few who have fallen away though, because I no longer fit their criteria, or they've changed or heaven forbid I've felt too timid to say their behaviour towards me upsets me and when I've finally plucked up the courage to say something, they've just ghosted me.

As an expat I'm having similar issues, life was good in the UK and South Africa, but in Dubai it feels like I'm back in school as a student or a mum in the play ground and it's tough.

Dubai is about who you are seen with and where you are seen, even the women who don't work are networking like mad in the hope of finding that one person they can be 'seen' with who will have an influence of their lives.

Blogging can be similar. I've been writing my blog now for 10 years this October. I do the occasional sponsored post, but not enough to call myself a blogger. I've featured in Britmum round ups, was nominated for a few travel awards, had the odd post picked up by mumsnet and joined in with numerous parenting linkies over the years. but I've never been part of the online world as part of the 'in crowd' I'm sure I've been turned down for opportunities because my face just doesn't fit and I refuse to play the game.

But do I really care about any of this? Do I really care about fitting in? Do I want to be like everyone else? Do I feel hurt that I've made an effort week after week to leave comments on your blog after spending time reading your posts, that I struggle to have anything to say about, because we have nothing in common or your writing is bad, just to have my posts ignored by you, because my face doesn't fit in your world?

Not really really, but I do still get hurt, when I make a lot of effort, spend a lot of time and give so much of myself just to be ignored. Dismissed because my lifestyle can't benefit yours, because i get dropped from a coffee date at the last minute because someone better has offered you their precious time to see you.

I can play the game though, for me it's a survival technique. I can air kiss, ask about your lives, your partners job and your children's education, I think we call it small talk.

I don't like doing it, playing the game isn't for me. I feel uncomfortable, I feel out of place. I feel a fraud when I do so. it doesn't come naturally to me.

Does your face fit?

Our Garden in Dubai this month. March 2019

We've had endless rain and wind and with it comes sand. Sand, everywhere, everyday that has to be swept up or it starts to take over the house.

The front balcony, closed now till next winter, but it will have random clean ups.

The balcony off the bedroom.

Daily sweeping of the sand.

Front door

Sand seeping in through the doors and windows.

Hose pipe to clean bedroom balcony then the patio has to be cleaned afterwards.

And then it rained the following day.

The sand carried in the rain sticks to everything like concrete.

A nice few dry, not too hot and free from wind days to do some gardening.

Lawn reseeded.

Outdoor plants thriving.

And then finally no more rain, no more wind and the garden is set up and operational. 

The only downside, it's now 36c and too hot to be sitting outside during the day.

The rest of the month is looking better and there is always the evenings, after sunset. I'll just have to light some citronella candles to ward off the mosquitos. 

The balconies will have to wait till next week.