My step son is visiting from Germany for 10 days, I’ve stocked up on Rum, and I’ll be fine. We have a difficult relationship. I’ve been ‘Mum’ for 12 years, although his mum is still around, she has not taken an active role in life for some time. In fact I was alarmed to hear that the last time he spoke with her was in August, but at 22 I can’t force him, only advice. We get on brilliantly over the internet, Skype, face book, emails...but there it stops, you see face to face it takes less than 90 minutes for him to wind me up and every time I believe things will be different this time, they’re not. So I told hubby he must take some time off work to spend with his son, in fact he must take time off for all family visitors, which means that they are coming out at the rate of twice a year, my parents, his mum and sister, plus colleagues from work/friends and 2 of the 3 adult children, it means hubby has no leave left for us to go anywhere. (Money is a bit tight at the moment so it’s irrelevant and he gets to travel all over with his job which he loves) But he’s gone and taken the full 10 days off and now at day 4 it is rather getting on my nerves.
I love visitors and I want everyone to come and visit us, I want/need the company, but it’s hard work. 2 sometimes 3 weeks with the same person can be very frustrating, for them as well. I thrive on routine, I need a purpose to get going some days and in this heat I need to stop work by a certain time. By 9am on weekdays I’m down the gym in the pool, the kids are in school, I’ve prepared tonight’s tea, put the washing on, emptied the dish washer and swept and mopped the floor. I stay out for a coffee, I come home with the shopping, read or do some arts and crafts (xmas decorations exchange an idea by @tattooed_mummy) sort through photos and write letters or my blog. Then when everyone is home from school/work we can relax in the pool, watch the TV, eat dinner, drink wine or go for a stroll around the golf course. But when visitors come that all goes to pot and I get agitated as I can’t just watch the TV when I like, sit down when I like and I never seem to get to rest.
I wrote this guide to being ‘a good guest’ when my mother came to visit in June, with her help and when I get home today I’m going to print and laminate it and hang it in the guest room.
Remember your host is NOT on holidayPay your way, buy coffees and insist on taking everyone out for a meal at least onceDon't buy your own goodies and hide them in your room, remember you're eating the food they paid forDon't take the last, or use the last of anythingIf your host offers toast and cereals for breakfast, don't go asking for a bacon sandwichIf you have food preferences or allergies it is YOUR responsibility to inform your host BEFORE you arriveIf you detect tension,take your book to your room, walk their dog (if they have one) or take the kids to the parkAllow your hosts a bit of space, remember one or both may still be going to work daily and running around after kids etc, again you're on holiday they’re notTidy up after yourself, your host ISN'T your Mother and even if she is, you've left home now