We've lost a lot of family members and friends over the past 12 months, I'm sure we'll lose many more over the coming years. I like to make the most of every opportunity, I love to travel and have the resources and support of my husband for me to do so. I love nothing more than taking up an invite to see people far and wide.
I think my life and that of my children is fairly adventurous. Two of our kids were in school in South Africa with us. Peter was asked if he wanted to move there and within 4 months of the question being asked we were 6000 miles away. Two of our kids joined the army and travelled the world. One of our kids announced last summer he was going to Australia with his girlfriend and within a month they were gone.
As a family we seize the day, we make the most of every opportunity we are given, but we weigh things up carefully, we write lists of pro's and con's, we always find more pro's and if things don't work out living abroad then we can always go back.
But yet I still get told I could seize the day more, but for every thing I choose to do there are consequences, some are harmless, some are life changing.
When friends do a charity parachute jump or take part in a dangerous activity, my first thought is 'What if something goes wrong?' My husband wants to do a parachute jump, but I can't help but think of how I'd be affected if he broke a leg on landing such as sorting out the medical aid bills, having to drive him to work every day or worse still if he died if something went wrong. I like to weigh up the risks. Of course if my husband broke his leg I'd do the above for him, but I know I would feel resentful if he did out out of an activity that could've been avoided.
I know we are at risk of our lives being cut short at any given time, through the fault of others and by our own acts, but I don't want to be responsible for an accident that inconveniences others or even my life being cut short through a dangerous activity.
I will however eat that slice of cake, enjoy a pint of beer, eat fast food, but I will balance my diet healthily to ensure I'm around as long as possible. I'm aware of how my father died after developing type 2 diabetes and having a stroke. I've started to drink a bit too much, the odd G&T here and there does no harm, but the odd G&T is becoming 2 or 3 on 2 or 3 days a week.
I've spent beyond my limits and worried myself sick about how I'll manage till the next payday, but I've learnt from all that, I've learnt to think about the consequences, weigh things up properly. It doesn't make me a party pooper, I just know my own limitations.
I've flown down the zip wire, I've been caving in the days before I had kids and responsibilities. I've drunk too much on a night out, I've made decisions that could've ended badly.
I have of course seized the day when the risks have been lower and the finances higher. I've booked a last minute flight to visit family and friends, worn the heels that blister my toes, because I look fab in them, worn the dress without worrying what other people think about my mum tum (that's their problem, not mine) I've purchased THAT handbag, tested my fear of heights by walking on glass floors 350ms in the air and going up the World's tallest building.
I'm currently in Germany staying with friends, they're at work during the day, I'm exploring locally, I don't speak the language, not many speak English here, but I'm not letting that stop me.
I don't think I need to seize the day more, I just need to carry on living the life I choose. I think my life is full enough already.