What uses are there for old and odd socks?

I suffer with chill blains and I get fed up taking gloves on and off to regulate my temperature. I asked hubby to pick me up a couple of thin, cotton pairs from the UK and he threw me a pair of his socks and said 'make your own'

 Choose an old pair of socks

 Cut above the heel

 Hem the top with a blanket stitch

 Put on and mark where you want the thumb hole

 Cut the thumb hole about 1.5cm long, use blanket stitch or machine button hole

 Decorate with buttons or ribbons

Children and how TV influences them

I came across this article on the BBC website about the effects of children being exposed to harmful material before the watershed.

We don't get a lot of British TV in South Africa apart from quiz and games shows, a couple of crime shows and Eastenders.

The report is by the National Association of Headteachers and I do think it's a bit strange that the BBC are advertising this message, especially as it is about programmes that they make, advertise and schedule viewing of. I watched Eastenders this evening, it was shown at 5.20pm it contained sex, violence, affairs, lying, family feuds & alcoholism. It could be said that this represents real life, but it is highly unlikely that all this happens in one evening, in one house, in one street. But I do agree that a lot of the story lines can help individuals with sensitive issues. I used to use episodes of soaps with my teaching and youth work to help relate to situations.

But it's not just adult television that influences your child, nor their access to the internet, children's programmes greatly influence your children.

On a recent trip to the UK staying with family and friends with young children there were 2 incidents that stood out and grabbed my attention.

The first being told about a friends child who had developed an American accent from watching too much TV, the second watching Adventure Time with my friends children aged 6-11, when one of the characters said to another 'to pass the monster you must stop her from crying and as everyone knows, to stop a woman from doing anything, you must make her think it's her idea.'

I am still gob smacked by what I heard.

Do you think your child watches too much TV? or is influenced by it and not just the adverts, but the contents of even children's programmes?

How to get what you want

I want a career

I want to travel

I want to finish my degree

I want to live in the same country as my children

I want my charity work to thrive

I want to write a book

I want to get fit

For others their wants may be to live in a bigger house, to get a promotion at work, loose weight, get fit, to go on holidays, own a new car.

It is possible to get what you want in and from life but before you begin you have to decide on your priorities.

How many of you sit there and think what you’d do with the money if you won the lottery? But, first to be able to win the lottery, you must buy a ticket and this is where it all starts.

So how does one tackle the ‘wants?' Nothing is going to come to me without some level of effort on my behalf, it’s the same for everyone else. There may be immovable restrictions to over come, such as finances and children and self imposed restrictions.

I think the self imposed restrictions are the hardest obstacles to negotiate especially if it comes from self esteem, value and worth. But I’m just not good or talented enough is not a barrier if you really want to achieve things.

You’ll note I don’t actually want a job, I want a career and for the past 4 years in South Africa I’ve been restricted by governmental rules for employing none South Africans. But it hasn’t stopped me building on my career, developing my CV and working full time, just without pay. We won’t be living here forever and it’s all preparation for when I do live in a country where I can work.

I want to travel…not just holidays, but proper exploration, climb Kilimanjaro, walk the Inca trail and explore Egypt to its fullest. There are restriction to this and one is finances, the other is I have a husband to factor into this. But first things first, the travel is not a priority for the time being, so it is sat simmering away on the sidelines waiting till I have built up a substantial pot of money, which brings me back to having a career.

I started a degree in Psychology and Criminology in 2007, it was put on hold when we moved as we had limited internet, I was doing a research project. Once we had the internet and our new lives sorted I applied to the OU to continue with my studies to discover that South Africa isn’t a qualifying country to study with them. But that doesn’t stop me from researching now, from picking up my books and doing some self study until we move to a country where I can continue my studies.

Living in the same country as my children is not a ‘no, no’ we will have to return to the UK eventually and in the meantime I can explore my idea of travel by visiting the UK as often as finances afford and the children can come here and visit.

My charity work can and will thrive wherever I am in the world, it’s just up to me to dedicate and devote the time to it. The same with writing a book, I don’t have dreams of being a best seller or even getting anything published, but unless I finish writing a book, I'll never achieve that want. I can dream all I like but I actually have to get off my arse and do something about it.

I want to get fit, not slim and trim. I’m not planning on running a marathon, but the travel I want to do isn’t sitting on a beach and at 42 I have to be realistic about my abilities. I’m not going to get fit sitting in front of this laptop all day, I don’t have a career that limits my time, I don’t have kids at home that need my constant attention.

I have no excuses, it’s all down to me.

People love to talk.

When travelling there are lots of conversations to be had. Everyone I meet on my travels wants to talk about where I'm from, where I'm going and why I'm travelling.

I'm a friendly person and I love to chat, to anyone, anywhere, at anytime, through social media and face to face.

It's one of those things that rarely happens in South Africa, people don't just chat to you for the sake of it. If the cafe is full, they will wait for a table rather than join the one you're sat on.

I spent a lot of time comparing South Africa to the UK and South Africa comes up top every time I think about it. With an up coming move looming, no idea where or when and a recent trip to the UK, I've been doing quite a bit of thinking and although we are 6000 miles away from our children and families, I'm uncertain about leaving this beautiful country behind. I have many friends here that I don't want to leave behind also, but thinking about a move and the recent UK trip I've realised that I miss chatting to people, strangers on the bus/train (can't use public transport here) joining someone at a cafe and saying 'hello'

Whilst travelling around the UK with my 15yo son between Leeds and Bath, via Gloucestershire and South Wales, dragging cases and using public transport we've met so many people eager to chat with us about where we are from, where we are going and what we are doing. We've been asked numerous questions about the death of Nelson Mandela and whether we think Oscar Pistorius is guilty or not. Is it safe? Can I drive there? Can I go out at night? How many other British people live there? Do we live in an expat community? Is it nice having 24/7 sunshine? I tell them what I can and about my voluntary work and how we camped one night in a township. Yes it is safe, the sun is nice, I don't know many British people here and that I have no opinion of Oscar Pistorius.

I spend a lot of time in South Africa alone,with hubby working away and since the children moved back to the UK. We have visitors lined up, the 19yo is currently visiting, the 15yo is here for the school holidays in July and August and the 22yo is out in September with his girlfriend for a holiday. I have my volunteer work with my friends and I have valuable time with my hubby. The dog and the cat keep me company when I'm on my own, but it's quite lonely when I pop to the shops, I'm not used to shopping and drinking coffee in silence.

Things I hate about Social media and Mug & Tweet Book review.

This blog posted started last week and has been edited many times, it's not my intention to alienate anyone and rather tough if you think I'm talking about you and only you. I decided to scrap the post after the rant had subscribed but then I was asked to review a book by Rich Simmonds' 'Mug and Tweet, Social Communication in the digital age'

Now my first thought was 'it's my social media, don't tell me how I should use it' but as the book was given to me by a friend of the author I thought I really should make the time to read it. I lack 'skill and grace' when dealing with things that wind me up and I open my mouth (send tweets) without actually thinking about the best way to communicate effectively.

I had a mini melt down last week on and about Twitter which has resulted in me unfollowing a large number of people.

I'm fed up of seeing the same hashtags & product reviews by the same people and don't get me started on the bloody blogging awards and 'vote for me' posts doing the rounds at the moment.

I don't hate blog posts about people's lives and experiences. I don't follow or subscribe to any blogs at all, I just pick up links from twitter and Facebook and if the title and introduction catch my attention, I click and read. 

I blog about family life as an expat, food, travel, up cycling and charity work. I don't fit a niche, but I have a varied life that throws new challenges up at me daily. My blog is read in the real world, by people who aren't on social media sites, by family and friends, with a large chuck of my 9000 hits per month being world wide and a lot of interest via Russia and China, but those referral sites are a little dodgy to say the least. If like me, and you don't like what you read, then unfollow, walk away as you would do in real life if someone on the street was spouting crap at you for hours on end. 

So what has Rich Simmonds' book taught me about Social Communication in a digital age?  It has taught me the importance of keeping the private life and the business life separate and I'm thinking it could be time now to decide on what type of blogging focus I should have. The kids have left home, so my advice on parenting teenagers probably isn't relative to many people who are at that stage. What about travel Blogging? Yes I do a lot of travelling and living in South Africa there are numerous opportunities even if it is all local things. Food and up cycling posts? I don't really do many and I've been told my style of writing and general haphazard approach to it, just isn't of interest to the leading retailers. 

So what does it leave me with? Charity blogging and fundraising, that's what. I work full time as a volunteer, I'm involved in so many projects that I'm working sometimes 40+ hours a week, either at a facility or behind the scenes researching, fundraising and contacting sponsors.

I guess you could say I haven't really done a review of the book yet, as I've nothing to share with you about my findings, but I've read it, I've made notes and I'm going to try and apply it to a new blog and twitter account, one that focuses on fundraising, charity and education and hopefully keep all the crap on this blog and learn to fit the mould if I want to be successful in encouraging sponsors and donations to come my way.

And if Rich Simmonds' is reading this and fancies following up on Chapter 13, I'm free to meet for that coffee.

Mug and Tweet was published today and is available to buy online.

World Baking Day. Cake making for charity in South Africa

It's World Baking Day and I've Pledged to Bake for the Children at The Viva Foundation.

I baked 141 cupcakes. I'm not icing them, as I do this on a regular basis for the various charities and townships I support and I need to keep the costs as low as possible.

June 7th is Viva's Family Day we will be baking 1000 cupcakes. That means there will be 1000 Orphans and Vulnerable Children as guests and we will need donations for cakes, drinks, etc.

Please contact me via my blog, twitter, Facebook or email.

The British have messy houses

When we first arrived in South Africa my then 15yo son returned from his first week in school and said a teacher had stated that 'the British have messy houses' my first thought was what right does she have to make judgement like that. My sons reply to the teacher was that 'the British don't employ maids to pick up after them' We don't employ a maid either.

The teacher was welcoming the kids to their new year in school and was going through some 'house keeping' rules. She wanted the kids to treat the classroom as they would their home, keep it clean and tidy.

During my recent tour of the UK around family and friends I've been met at every door with a hug and 'lovely to see you, you look well, come in, kettle is on, let me help you with those bags and please excuse the mess'

Every house I've visited either has kids in it or building work, redecorating etc going on, or a combination of both.

Without meaning to cause any offence, yes British houses are messy, not dirty, just full of clutter, stuff, things and not a maid in sight. They are like this because British houses are smaller than South African ones, smaller rooms, less space for storage, they are like this because there isn't a maid running around behind them, cleaning up.

It's not just the space that helps keeping a house tidy, it's not having kids living at home.

Voting at the South African Elections 2014

We drove into Mamelodi this morning for 10am, we drove past 2 polling stations to reach The Viva Foundation. As with the polling station at Viva, outside there were tables representing the different parties, they are not allowed to approach people as it could be seen as 'pressure' and no one was approaching anyone. The queues were orderly and not very long, parents stood with their children, grandparents etc. At Viva music was playing nearby from a Shebeen and it was a very pleasant and normal environment to be in.

Finger prints were taken, ID books examined and votes were cast. Polling stations opened on time, no one ran out of ballot papers and plain clothes police were mingling, but said they weren't expecting any trouble. There was a visit from the Swedish Embassy who were given a tour of Viva. Tea and coffee was drunk, cakes were eaten, a walk was taken to view the Art's project and meet some of the residents in The Alaskan Informal Settlement, kids were playing in the streets (public holiday)

In fact it was a fairly normal day in Mamelodi, but you'll not know about this because the media only want the protests, the riots, the violence and the incompetence.

When was the last time you got all your kids together?

At the start of our expat journey in 2011 we moved with children 4 & 5 to South Africa, leaving child 1 & 3 in the UK and child 2 in Germany.

Having just returned from a trip to the UK, I was unable to get all 5 of the children together at the same time.

Having spent the evening trawling the physical photo albums and on the laptop, I found 3 pictures of all the children together. Sadly there isn't a single picture of us with the kids, other than me and the kids or hubby and the kids (who else would take the picture?)

This picture was taken in 2002, the one and only time we all holidayed together in France. 

2003 on the Malvern Hills

Christmas 2004 Malvern

The last time we had all the children together was in 2007.

Since then we've had different combinations of kids together but not all at the same time. 

Now all the children live in the UK, leaving just hubby and I here together. In December for the first time in 7 years we will all be in the same country at the same time, what's the chance of us all getting together?

Cooking with Old El Paso

Living as an expat in South Africa, involves regular trips to the home land to visit family and friends. With all of our 5 children now living back in the UK, these trips home will become more frequent. The family are spread from Leeds, down to Gloucester, through South Wales and in Bath. 

I don't view my trips home as a chore, but it certainly isn't a holiday. Whether staying with family or friends for a night or a bit longer, I do cause a disruption to their lives and it does cost them money to have me to stay, involving not only feeding me, shifting kids out of their room and a lift here and there, but it costs me money also, a gift, bunch of flowers or a meal out.

When the people at Old El Paso asked me if I would like to review their products, I jumped at the chance. I could cook for the people I was staying with as a thank you.

I've cooked and shared, fajitas, tacos, rice dishes and casseroles. I've supervised my friend's children cooking and been cooked for by another friend.

My parents don't like spicy food and stick with what they know, but as the interfering daughter concerned about their health I often cook when I visit, on this trip I arrived and my Mother informed me she had bought chicken and vegetables and added it would be a shame to break with tradition so I could cook dinner. Digging into my hand bag I pulled out the 'One Pan Rice Meal, extra mild, super tasty' and set to work.

I didn't add the onions or the pepper as suggested on the box as neither of my parents are keen on them and I only added half the spice mix.

I gave my mother the task of stirring and keeping an eye on things and she kept asking me when she should put the rice on. I kept explaining it was already in the pan and was cooking altogether.

We served it with steamed vegetables, it easily served 3 adults and would've pushed to 4 if needed.

It was eaten and enjoyed by all, with my mother adding....'it's not something I would have chosen to eat, but I did enjoy it and would have it again.' Unfortunately I'm not back in the UK until December, so she'll have to wait.

To see the full range and get some recipe ideas visit here.

Biokineticist, chronic pain and migraines

I’ve been visiting a Biokineticist and physio since January after yet another referral from yet another doctor after years of medication and surgery to help with chronic neck pain and the side effects of migraines that see me in hospital for treatment at least twice a year.

I’ve suffered with migraines since I was around 5 years of age, the first time I needed more than lying down in a darkened room and over the counter medication I was 15 years of age. The Doctor had to administer medication via an injection and it was put down to hormones and exam pressure. However the migraines continued every few months, until they became once or twice a month after an injury at work.

Over the past 18 years I’ve taken medication from painkillers through to antidepressants and muscle relaxants. I’ve had physio, pain killing injections, Botox, nerve blocks and the most aggressive intervention was the burning of the nerves in my neck under a general anaesthetic.

Migraines for me present with an aura, my vision becomes blurring for anything up to 24 hours prior to an attack, I become confused and my ability to think and do at the same time are diminished. I also feel extremely nauseous before ending up in bed for up to 3 days and often having to visit the hospital for medical intervention that has lasted up to 2 weeks in hospital as the migraines have presented as meningitis and been accompanied with high temperatures.

All treatment has worked, but the effects have worn off quickly and in most cases have been extremely painful, especially the Botox, which although the pain relief lasted the longest, the pain from the injections was unbearable.

The latest referral was as always viewed by me and hubby as ‘we don’t know what else to do with her, she refuses medication’ Having tried various medications and weighing up the side effects, it’s been decided that long term medication isn’t treating the problem, it just eases the pain.

The physio was very aggressive with her treatment of me and each session lasted an hour. This was after an assessment by the biokineticist.

I can’t really explain what a biokineticist is, does or even what qualifications they hold, but I do know that with her help, physical intervention, input from the physio, manipulations now once a week and exercises to do at home, which on paper look simple enough, but leave me exhausted, not only have I lost weight, my appetite has changed and I’m eating less sugary items. My body shape is altering, swimming has become easier, especially front crawl, my breathing has improved, I’m sitting upright, my whole body posture has changed. Long journeys in the car, flights, housework, using the computer for long periods of time have become easier, in fact what I would now consider to be normal, after 18 years of ‘normal’ being severe migraines after any of the above activities.

I’m the UK after 20 hours of travelling, sat in economy and I didn’t have a migraine, maybe a bit tired from lack of sleep but no migraine, the first time ever.  I’ve spent 3 weeks sleeping in different beds, on sofas, using public transport, dragging cases and a 15yo around with me and NO migraines.

I pay around R180/£10 per week to visit the biokineticist. The medical aid covers the cost, but at these prices its affordable and I’d recommend them to everyone suffering with chronic pain.

I received an email from the Biokineticist and she shared the following information:

If someone asks we study BSc sport science degree and then
we do a BSc Biokinetic Hons for a year. Then you have to work a year as an
intern and then you can qualify as a registered biokineticist.

Expat travels with a teenager.

As an expat in South Africa we are without a UK base. In the past our travels to the UK have been separately, so we can spread the amount of time we spend with family over several visits rather than just 1 visit annually. The kids visited the UK once a year and stayed with their Dad and the eldest 3 already had their own homes we could visit.

In August the youngest, now aged 15, returned to complete his education in boarding school and then in January the 19yo returned to the UK, leaving just hubby and I in South Africa.

This is my first visit back since the kids left home. Usually I stay with my parents, a friend or 2 in the London area and other close friends, this time I’m travelling with a 15yo as I’ve timed my trip to spend the school holidays with him, but we don’t really have anywhere to go, a base. We’ve been travelling together for the past 2 weeks. A few nights with different friends, with children his age, an emergency dash up to Leeds to visit child no. 3 of 5 in hospital and we were able to stay in his flat for the duration but had to leave when he came out of hospital, there’s just about enough room for him and his girlfriend, without mother and younger brother there as well.

We were able to use a car to travel to Leeds, but the rest of the trip has been by coach, bus, train and a few lifts to catch them. We’ve been paying our way by helping with household chores, washing and ironing and some childcare.

We have the use of a car over the weekend, mainly to take the 15yo back to school and to visit the eldest child who is disabled and even though there will be 2 of us, managing her and her wheelchair on public transport is a bit of an effort.

It’s been great spending the past 2 weeks with the 15yo although he’s not been over impressed with the public transport, lugging cases and sleeping in different beds every few nights. It’s probably the first time we’ve spent this much time together without anyone else around and we’ve had a fair amount of fun.

He flies out to SA in July/August and then I won’t see him again until Christmas, when hubby and I will be making our first trip together to the UK in 4 years and we’ve rented a cottage in South Wales for the month of December and will be hiring a car making it easier to get around and visit all the kids, maybe this time they can come visit us and we can actually have a holiday.